In life, not every day is a holiday, sometimes pessimistic thoughts, despondency, sadness cover. In this state, a person says "I feel bad at heart." In fact, it can be a mental disorder, caused by certain behaviors of other people, events, constant failures or overwork. It is very difficult to overcome mental pain on your own, which gradually develops into depression. What to do? How to feel happy again?

Causes of a difficult mental state

The following events can take a person out of himself:

• family conflict . Very often, a spouse after a quarrel feels unheard, unloved, unnecessary to anyone.
• Conflict at work . It is impossible to please everyone, no matter how professional you are, so conflict situations often arise at work. They may be associated with the authorities or the team.
• Serious illnesses . When a person is sick, he weakens, loses the tone of life, so it seems that everything has stopped. It is especially difficult for people who know about their fatal pathology. They understand that their life is coming to an end, they are experiencing severe mental anguish.
• Unstable love relationships. Quite often, the mental state of a person is undermined by jealousy and love. Because of them, many different emotions appear - a feeling of euphoria, tears of sadness, happiness, which even lead to.

Transformed Reasons

Often everything accumulates in life. One problem leads to another. For example, a conflict at work has disturbed your peace of mind, you come home, look for support from your loved one, but he does not understand and quarrels with you even more. When everything accumulates, it is very difficult to survive, because a person gives up, he appears, the whole world around him becomes indifferent. It is especially scary when a person does not want to fight anything, this indicates his critical condition.

A transformed cause always has a primary cause first, from which other problems arise. Therefore, in this situation, you must first overcome the root cause.

What to do with mental pain?

Gather family and friends

Only relatives, loved ones will help you fill you with positive, return the spark of life. You can’t close yourself in, otherwise it will be even worse. You need to call those who will always cheer you up and help you. Of course, it is not easy to tune in to fun, but for a while you will still be able to get rid of the troubles. Your get-together evening should be emotionally charged with fun events. You can go to a disco, a club, a karaoke bar, a cinema, a bowling alley. A noisy company will help you cheer up. The main thing this evening is to forget about all your problems, try not to remember why you feel bad at heart.

avoid loneliness

A person is especially vulnerable when he himself remains with his problem. In this case, he begins to analyze his life, play the situation several times, think about how he could have acted differently. As a rule, a lonely person “bites” himself, blaming himself for all the troubles. Some, on the contrary, are looking for the culprit, draw up a plan of revenge, which can be implemented in a state of passion.

If you are left alone, do something: turn on loud music, clean up, do exercises, but in no case be sad.

Sign up for a gym

It has long been proven that any sport is an excellent emotional release. In the morning, with the help of charging, you can cheer up, fill with strength. Before going to bed, you can go for a run, so you will relieve negative emotions.

A punching bag helps a lot. Are you angry? Too much accumulated? With each new blow, get rid of negativity, resentment, envy,.

But after a fitness workout, you will feel in shape, gain confidence, which will help you overcome any emotional setbacks. You will have thoughts: “Maybe not everything is so bad, there is still a way out of the situation.”

Correct your mistake

Sometimes it torments those who have committed some rash act. Here you need to remove the "stone" from the soul, it is he who often becomes the cause of experiences. Most likely, you are not bad, but simply "tormented by conscience." In some situations, to make it easier, you need to confess your sin. Of course, other problems may appear, but you will not lie to yourself.

Effective remedies for sadness and anxiety

It happens that it is enough just to arrange a holiday for yourself, and the melancholy will immediately pass. Perhaps all the problems have accumulated due to the fact that you do not rest, you are constantly working. And in such a regime it is simply impossible to live. Everything should be in moderation and rest, and work. A girl can go to a SPA-salon, a solarium, get a beautiful manicure, increase eyelashes, cut her hair or go shopping. For men, the best recreation is watching football, fishing, meeting friends, sauna, bath.

Mood Uplifting Products

For articles to be happy, serotonin must be produced in the brain. For these purposes, it is recommended to eat:

• Banana.
• Dark chocolate.
• Orange.
• Cheese.
• Beef liver.
• soy.

You can drink coffee, strong tea with lemon.

Remember! No matter how difficult the life situation is, you can not give up. “Heaviness in the soul” is a barrier that prevents you from continuing to live, you must overcome it and start all over again. You cannot give in to the problems that have arisen, otherwise you will never achieve success in your personal life, work, you will not be able to change your life for the better.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to get rid of prolonged depression, especially since it negatively affects well-being and leads to various malfunctions in the body. Learn to treat everything differently in life, be an optimist, always believe only in the best. Scientists have already proven how important it is, it can completely change lives. Do you only believe in the bad? Therefore, problems do not leave you. Tell yourself that everything will be fine, and it will definitely happen!

Today we will be discussing a topic such as "heart heaviness". Many complain that they can not get rid of this unpleasant feeling. We will consider the origin of this feeling, its various types and ways out of this unpleasant state.

First of all, let's translate this abstract expression into a more concrete direction. How does this feeling manifest itself? It manifests itself as a vague feeling of anxiety somewhere in the chest. There is a feeling that a weak electric current is being let in inside. "Heart flutters." A very unpleasant sensation, no wonder people want to get rid of it. So, heaviness in the soul is a feeling of anxiety.

When does anxiety arise?

It occurs when some unsolved problem hangs over us, when we feel the approach of some kind of trouble, when we need to fix something, and when we are in some kind of limbo and the unknown is pressing on us.

What do these situations have in common?

First of all, they are united by the need to find a solution and the need for immediate action. Feelings of anxiety motivate us to act and try to avoid some of the negative consequences of inaction.

Thus, one must understand that “heaviness in the soul” is not a disease, but a symptom. Our feelings stimulate us to act before it's too late. Thus, it would be wise to fight not with a sense of anxiety, but with the situation that caused it.

I will give an example from my own experience. One of my acquaintances, a man in his early forties, who complained of a feeling of anxiety in the wording "heaviness in the soul for several months." After I began to question him about the events in his life that preceded the onset of anxiety, it turned out that before they arose, he had a big fight with his son. During these few months, they never reconciled (why is a separate issue), but he did not connect his emotional state with the situation that preceded it. For some reason, my friend did not want to connect these two events. In the course of work, we sorted out the reasons for the quarrel and this man wished to make peace with his son. Soon he did it and the heaviness in his soul passed.

In this example, the person subconsciously felt that reconciliation was necessary, but his resentment prevented him from doing so. At the same time, he did not want to link the situation and his condition, trying to get out of the internal conflict (a feeling of resentment and a desire to make peace).

Thus, heaviness in the soul testifies to some unresolved life situation, which, however, may not be realized. Based on the foregoing, work with anxiety should consist in clarifying the circumstances that preceded its appearance. This allows you to identify the "urge to action", which causes a feeling of heaviness in the soul.

I note that a person is not always able to do this on his own, since this can be interfered with by a person’s false ideas about what drives him.

Resolution of the situation.

It is good when the situation can be resolved easily, but it happens that it is too difficult or impossible to resolve it. This happens when the resolution of the situation does not depend on us, but on other people, or other circumstances beyond our control. Unfortunately, it is not always possible for our feelings to explain that we are powerless in something.

What to do in such a situation?

Everything is simple. Feelings require action from us, which means that action must be provided. If we can't handle the situation ourselves, maybe other people can handle it. You need to ask people for help. Asking for help is also an action that will make you a little calmer. In addition, there is a high probability that help will actually resolve the situation.

Unfortunately, there are situations that neither you nor other people can resolve. In such cases, a person needs the moral support of other people.

In such circumstances, diverting attention from the complexities can help.

For example, in the event of the loss of a significant loved one, in addition to other negative tendencies, a feeling of anxiety can also be observed. There is nothing you can do about such a loss, so distraction can help in such a situation. Maybe someone can help. But this is another, much more complex topic, which we will not dwell on now.

What should not be done?

Many people prefer to deal with anxiety through various chemical means, such as alcohol, sedatives, drugs, etc. It is important to understand that they are not able to help overcome anxiety, but can only slow down our nervous system. Thus, it can only make a person slower, but not calmer. In addition, these drugs have a number of side effects, for example, they can cause sleep problems, which will interfere with psychological recovery. Therefore, you should never drink alcohol and sedatives to feel better at heart. This can only trigger new unresolved situations that will cause additional anxiety, which in turn forces you to increase the dose. Thus, a person can fall into a vicious circle.

This is where we will end today. I wish you only lightness in your soul. Good luck!

For the last 5 years I have been feeling very bad. It’s like a lump of dirt stuck in my chest and corrodes me from the inside. I've been wanting nothing for 5 years now. No sex, no work (which I just stopped liking), watching movies, walking, talking, and eventually living too. Every day I come to work, communicate with my workmates pretending that everything is in order, smiling in their face, joking with them, and when I get home I turn on the music and lie down and listen. I just listen and dream of dying or being born in another century. But there is no one to tell the truth. My parents have been divorced since 2010. Relations with them are cold as ice. My father demands a lot from me, what I don’t want, I don’t like. But I have to do something so as not to disappoint him, and in the end I still make a mistake somewhere and disappoint him. Maybe I lack love or something else that I do not see and do not realize? At home too, I just stopped cleaning, I live like ... yes, I just live like I live. Don't care about everything. I want to scream, so loud that they would be heard on the other side of the universe. Why does it hurt so much? Why so bad? What is wrong with me? I'm 28 years old, and I feel like I'm 80. I'll say this if it weren't for Mom, Dad, I would have committed suicide<ред.мод.>... Lord, how bad at heart. I would like to write so much here, but it is unlikely that this will help me in some way, it is unlikely that it will instill in me the spirit and strength to live on. People will read what I wrote and many will think. Here's the moron. Or just sympathize with me. And I just don't care. I want to be free from life. I want to jump off the plane and just fly down with my eyes closed and know that just a couple more moments of flight and I will be free. I have no one to complain to, no one to tell how bad I feel, no one to cry on my shoulder, and this is probably sad from the point of view of a normal person. I understand that suicide is not an option. And it won't get any easier for the family. But I didn't even care about my family. I am afraid of these thoughts. This is probably the first and last time I write something on the Internet.

Support the site:

Sasha, age: 28 / 23.05.2017

Responses:

Hello. It seems to me that it would be right to remember when such an attitude towards life began in you. That was five years ago - what happened to you then? Maybe some unfavorable events that have affected you so much. And all the while You are struggling with their consequences. Think. Perhaps the reason is in Your work. It was at that age that work began. The duties that you perform can be very exhausting. Relationships with management or staff. At first glance, everything may look good, but in fact it is a source of discomfort. I know from personal experience how powerful it can be. Working in one organization, all the time it was hard on my soul and I didn’t want to do anything after work. All the time something was with health, despite the young age. After some time, the organization moved and had to leave. And, as time shows, it was right. In the place where I work now, everything is completely different. Much easier than before, emotionally. In addition, there was free time from work to help other people. And this is actually very interesting and not difficult at all. Additional motivation when you feel that you bring someone benefit. Think about it, maybe you should decide to change something in your life. And then there will be a desire and strength to live.

Mikhail, age: 05/28/2017

Hello Sasha. You wrote: "I want to write so much here, but it is unlikely to help me with anything ..." But I think if a person has a need to express more than he says, it is necessary to satisfy this need. Maybe it is in unspoken words that you can understand something and find a way out of your difficult situation. I think we should take advantage of this opportunity. I also realized that you have no one to talk to, try to contact a psychologist, do not withdraw into yourself. Happiness to you, Sasha, let a ray of light shine in your life.

Olga, age: 35 / 05/24/2017

Sasha, well, how did you not guess to go to a doctor, a psychiatrist! It seems to me that you are sick with depression, which means that you need to treat it and get cured. All life is in front of you. Joy from life, pleasure from life will still be available to you.

Madame, age: 55 / 05/24/2017

Hi Sasha! Depression is a disease. And she needs to be treated. And it can be treated in different ways. You need to have purpose and meaning in life. You can advise to create your own family. According to my observations, people who get married cope with depression more easily. Or turn to God, become a Christian, this path has given many people joy and meaning in life. Or turn your gaze to other people who are in dire need of help. It also gives a desire to live when you realize that other people need you. And if all this does not suit you, then go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, it depends on the severity of your depression. But since you are in a long depression, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist. But you have to live. We must fight. We must win.

Arina, age: 05/27/2017

Dear!
It's not worth getting discouraged. Difficult to advise. First, you are not alone. We are all living people and can lose motivation. On the face of a slight depression.
There is a positive. You are young, healthy, functioning normally - go to work, ie. minor depression. You do not have a burden - disabled relatives, wife, children. This is positive, because hands are untied.
For me, for example, it is easier to be lonely, and the family is strained.
Come home from work and turn on not music, but some kind of satire, read something funny, for example.
Visit your primary care physician.
Find some hobby, passion. Lots of dating sites.

Kolobok, age: 47 / 05/24/2017

Hello. Sasha, it is very similar to a prolonged depression, so do not put off visiting a psychotherapist. Drink vitamins, they will give strength. And another tip - fall in love! Create a family, every man needs care, guardianship, attention, female affection, and you are no exception. I think your mood will also change, you won’t go against nature, as they say))) Good luck to you!

Irina, age: 29 / 24.05.2017

Dear Alexander, I would like to warn you that having freed yourself from life in this way, you will not become free, since this is an unforgivable sin. Try to slowly figure out what's wrong, try to figure out the meaning of a person's suffering, why they are sent to him, maybe just if everything was fine, then you wouldn't think about what you need, maybe it's time to pay attention to what is really important for each of us. It's about getting in touch with God. Unfortunately, we people remember Him only when we feel bad. With the Lord in the heart, then death will be real freedom, but only when your time comes, when God decides so. And thoughts of suicide are sent to you by the enemy of our salvation, drive them away! Real freedom is in the Lord, because He is the Truth. I hope my message will help you, don’t give up, and then you will see how beautiful life is) I also had such a terrible state, I understand what you mean ... but if you don’t give up, then everything will start to improve, look for the main thing this very Truth, learn her... Take care of yourself.
***
Life is beautiful in all its images: Speaking everyday prose;
In the descriptions of poets, figurative;
In black clouds and in pink clouds ... And she rushes - furiously! ..
Hits with blows - crushingly!
So that we forget to live sublimely ... So that it would be painful for all of us to live!
I will try with all my might, To touch eternity with my heart, To make life shine with its facets, Carrying me into the world of infinity!

incognito, age: 05/26/2017

Sasha, there is always a reason for such a state: sometimes these are somatic reasons, sometimes it is an event, feelings for which you have suppressed, driven inside yourself and it seems that you have experienced it, but it comes out in the form of such unwillingness to be. Maybe you do a lot of things for which the soul does not lie. It's good that you wrote here - this is at least some step to help yourself. When you can’t figure out the reasons, it’s best to turn to a psychologist (not to anyone, on the recommendation). It is clear that you have such a need. Normally, a person should be happy - this is his normal state. I wish you to find yourself again, the one who wakes up in the morning and smiles.

Anna, age: 36 / 05/24/2017

Okay, what are you up to? I read your letter and you have no idea what a happy person you are. Let's step by step:
1. You are in good health
2. There is work, there is earnings
3. There are people close to you
5. Young, you can overtake everyone
Here are your main assets. You are an adult guy, such times when you want to die happen oddly enough for people. So, I'll tell you this is your life and only you can fix it, become happy. Stop going into despondency, because despondency is also a human sin. You just get out of this state with the help of God and start living without looking back. What will help you is faith. You do not need anyone to cry, all the strength and faith is already in you. Talk to God, because He is always with us. Ask for help, repent, start to thank and I am sure shifts in a good direction will begin. Everything is temporary, be patient and grateful my brother. Happiness to you.

Just a guy, age: 05/23/2017

Hello Sasha!
I am very, very glad that you sent a message here! And I'm glad that I saw him and I can write to you. The most important thing I want to ask you about - try if you do not accept, then understand: either we control thoughts, or they control us. When I made the second option, I felt about the same as you. Therefore, let me tell you WHAT NOT TO DO, so that later you will not be afraid of your thoughts.
1. Try not to listen to music while thinking about something. No matter how strange this advice may seem, it is very important. If you do not delve into medical terms, but put it in a simple way, then you just "wind up" yourself, cultivate in yourself that state, from which it is then so difficult to move away and so difficult to control.
2. No matter how pointless it may seem, do some things. In fact, this is also a good way to take a break from heavy thoughts. Moreover, when we understand that they are useful to someone (and you can help your parents), there are forces for other things that are already useful to you directly - communication, walking, sports.
3. Communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!! Treat communication as a cure for your condition: take (so far) twice a day))) That is, in the first half of the day I talked to someone, and in the second.
4. I can be wrong a thousand times, I'm sorry, if that's what you think, but such despondency can be from a lack of understanding, acceptance, non-judgment, faith in the best in you, sincere support. All this can give even one word, if it is from the heart and sincere - perhaps you should look for a psychologist, if not full-time, then at least on the Internet, you can find a free one after all. church (this is from personal experience, this moment in my recently still hopeless life was a key one).
5. Watch videos about compassion. So simply and googled - it is difficult to explain what happens when you approach this topic, even passively.
6. Know about yourself that you are a good person. Know this firmly, and doubting yourself: to do or not to do, say so to yourself: "I will do as a good person would do."
7. Do not even doubt that such a state will pass! It is not necessary that all problems will disappear abruptly, but you will definitely be able and in the mood to solve them and at the same time enjoy life! Often, in general, only hormones are to blame for depression - so maybe this side should also be considered?
Hold on!!! Everything will definitely work out!

Natalia, age: 35 / 05/24/2017

Why do I feel so bad that I do not feel the harmony as it was before? How to get rid of the terrible feeling of emptiness that accompanies me everywhere? The soul suffers from such thoughts, but there is simply no desire to live. When life acquires the status of "everything is complicated", and the day consists of nothing but failures and moral stress - it's time to sit at the helm of your "ship". The search for reasons will help to direct them to a new direction, because they contain the “root of evil”. Help is just around the corner - just read to the end.

Everything is very bad or why it happens

When the morning begins not with a cheerful exercise and a smile, but with sadness, complete hopelessness - obviously, you need to think about yourself. Where does that deep sadness come from, from which it is difficult to get out for weeks? Why does a mental breakdown occur, and you are no longer that cheerful person, but a gray shadow? Negative emotions await at the most inopportune moment when we do not expect it. Yesterday there was an affair with a loved one, prosperity, peace, but today everything is awry. Negativity can fly into life, but it is important not to let it stay here. When everything is bad - and with it the energy to do something disappears. It is important to understand what exactly is the cause of sadness. This state has obvious as well as hidden features.

When a person says "help me bad" - he may experience:

• Family problems- the most frequent case. Within the framework of misunderstanding on the part of close, eternal quarrels, isolation in oneself is born. Negative feelings arise due to insufficient love, mutual understanding, support.
• Everything is very bad at work.. Colleagues do not understand, and this boss always criticizes? Do you have to drive for hours to another part of the city, and then stay until night in the office? Intense employment is capable of making a stale cracker out of an energetic personality. A disloyal team is a common cause of nervous breakdowns.
• I am in poor health. When you feel your weakness, you want to cry and return to normal. A habitual life with light thoughts is hard to imagine without good health. It is important not to delay, consult a doctor and bring yourself back into shape.
• How bad it is for me, because the person I love left me. Nights without a break in tears, a sad look out the window, apathy towards the outside world - all this evokes depression. Difficulties in a relationship make few people happy.

A person can also say “I feel bad” if he has been unable to get out of a bitter state for a long time. Negativity tends to turn into chronic depression that is hard to find peace of mind. One reason can be reflected on another, which creates a chain of unpleasant consequences.

For example, a university student has problems communicating with classmates. He always comes home in a bad mood, ignores his relatives on a nervous basis, and is rude to them. This provokes parents to a scandal and a verbal skirmish begins. At the same time, the child of the family ceases to study well, which threatens him with a departure from the budget for the contract. The family cannot afford to pay for education, and the son, under a wave of depression, begins to take alcohol and smoke. This is a rather banal example, but it takes place in real life.

Like this case, there are thousands of others, and the conclusion is the same - people are driving themselves into a dead corner. It is worth dealing with one problem, which will eliminate the appearance of the following. The way out of depression often lies before our eyes.

What to do when it's bad

I feel bad and it morally eats me up every day - help me! It is important to immediately pull yourself together and do something in the form of a moral shake-up. The feeling of helplessness gradually makes the person uncontrollable. Stress is increasingly affecting behavior, many things cease to please, as before, and strong feelings cease to help morally. In advanced cases, scolding yourself for being too exposed to circumstances is the best lesson you can learn.

Advice, a word from the outside sometimes cannot break through that wall of misunderstanding that a person himself has created. Feeling so bad that you want to make ends meet? We take will into a fist, we call the most important people whom we can trust, and we express everything that has accumulated during this time. Comrade, native will always understand, help in difficult times. Perhaps all this time the victim lacks sincere understanding, freeing himself from all this confusion.

If the feeling of “I feel bad” has taken possession of you, then read our tips and they will certainly help you.

avoid loneliness

When everything is very bad, you don’t need to finish yourself off with silence even more. In such an environment, a person escalates the situation, becomes vulnerable. ? It is important not to justify your behavior and blame others for your troubles. Under any circumstances, you can be distracted. Why not read a book? Watch an interesting movie or go shopping? How about the idea of ​​listening to your favorite music that will get rid of the inner barrier? Karaoke, by the way, helps a lot.

Surround yourself with care

This advice complements the previous one. A positive charge can be received from bosom friends who can drive up at any moment, call in a cafe! There will always be someone who is with you, like "do not spill water." I feel very bad, but no one will cheer me up! What to do? It is important to defuse the situation and go out into the outside world. Why not meet an interesting person, go on a long-awaited date, put aside fears and propose a meeting to someone? You can cheer yourself up if you stop thinking about painful things.

Overcome fear and make amends

To avoid this, you need to correct that fatal mistake that is the cause of everything. The problem has been going on for months, maybe years? Such a stone on the soul simply stifles the opportunity to live fully! If your conscience is tormenting, then you should not be afraid to apologize, to tell the truth. I would like to say about my feelings - the main thing is not in a rude form, but it is understandable, so that it is clear to a person. Fear gnaws, deprives speechless - this does not need to be put up with. You can always make amends, which will not only reassure you, but also your opponent.

Make time for sports

Sport is a radiant vitamin, from which the body flutters, the soul is relieved, the mood is renewed. Breathing with free breasts, in a beautiful, strong body - isn't that happiness? Regular exercise builds willpower. It is she who is often not enough to deal with the moral blues. After a few months of fitness, the gym, someone who used to be without strength for any reason, today will confidently stay afloat.

Have fun and relax

When, you should allow yourself to relax. A holiday is impossible in a gloomy, heated environment. Terrible sadness will be melted if you go on a long-awaited journey, please yourself with a gift, invite your relatives to a restaurant, go out of town to nature. Why not visit the spa for a relaxing massage? Or maybe go to a football match and cheer for your favorite team? It is worth replacing the usual habitat with something bright, as we play with new colors.

Proper nutrition and personal care

I feel bad because I'm ugly, fat, angry at any reason. We are what we eat. Gastronomic interest woke up in a person since ancient times and has not faded since then. We eat to move, to think, to grow mentally and physically. You can feel lightness in thoughts in a healthy body. It's time to get rid of extra pounds, because of which there is no feeling of freedom.

It is worth replacing eating cakes with fresh fruits, and fast food with vegetables, cereals, and fish. Everything should be in moderation, but you should never let yourself go to disgrace. In a state of prolonged depression, a person with a radiant smile, a thin waist, an even skin tone turns into a kind of unhealthy personality. P.S. Dark chocolate, tea, oranges perfectly tone up!

Positive thinking is the best medicine!

Why do I feel so bad? It's about thinking! It is important to reconsider your view of the world, not to give up, to see the future in your future. Bad thoughts directly leave an imprint on the worldview. Even on a gray day, you can think about the world around, health, the ability to walk, see, dream. Someone now has a completely terrible situation, and we, at times, get upset over trifles.

You are great for reaching the victorious end of this article. We believe that now you are less worried about the thought "I feel bad and my life is over." Continue today with new thoughts about the good, find a way out of this trap. It's never too late to start a change for the better, and it's even useful!

Hello dear readers! Each of us can find ourselves in a situation where nothing pleases. It seems that the world around remained the same, but as if something had broken in the soul. What was important yesterday, today does not arouse the slightest interest, waves of melancholy and apathy overwhelm your head and at times you just don’t want to live.

Relatives sometimes do not even know about this condition, attributing unusual behavior to a bad mood or fatigue. And only you know how hard it is for you now, and are trying to figure out what to do when you feel bad at heart?

Many find solace in the well-known phrase “Time heals”, immerse themselves in their experiences and wait for the mental pain to pass by itself. But the simplest option is not always the best. Sometimes, due to inaction, instead of the long-awaited relief, you can get the opposite result -. And it is almost impossible to get out of it without the help of a psychologist.

To prevent such a state, do not let the situation take its course. If you feel bad at heart, and you don’t know what to do, use the proven advice of psychologists. So you will quickly overcome difficulties and again feel the joy of life.

Looking for the source of the pain

First of all, you need to determine what brought you to the current state. Moreover, the reasons can be both obvious and not obvious. The obvious reason is easy to determine - this is a serious shock or conflict that you are going through hard. For instance:

• Family . A quarrel with a loved one can unsettle for a long time. Accusations and insults thrown in each other's faces hurt deeply and often cause severe emotional distress.
• Breakup with a partner. The person with whom you were going to live happily ever after suddenly waved his hand and left you alone. For both girls and men, this is a hard blow from which it is not easy to recover.
• Problems at work. It's great when the work team is friendly and close-knit, but this rarely happens. Therefore, gossip, the place can seriously poison life.
• Severe ailments. Moreover, both the illness of a loved one and the illness can unsettle.

But the reasons are not always on the surface. Sometimes you yourself cannot realize what knocked you out of the saddle and where this oppressive state came from. In this case, listen to yourself, analyze the latest events and you will understand why there is such a heaviness in the soul.

The most common reasons include:

• Fatigue. If you work to exhaustion every day, then over time you can feel not only physical fatigue, but also.

• False targets. We live in a society and are forced to follow generally accepted rules and values. And therefore we often save, instead of building new relationships, we work to exhaustion so that the standard of living matches your environment and waste ourselves on other activities that do not make us happy.

• . They lie in wait for us every day and everywhere. A critical remark from the boss, a skirmish in public transport, a quarrel with a partner, a quarrel with a neighbor - all this grows like a snowball, and one day it can overwhelm with an avalanche of negativity.

• Unspoken emotions. If you are used to suppressing anger, fear, resentment and other destructive emotions in yourself, over time the level of negativity will reach a critical level. And then everything that you have accumulated in yourself will respond with unbearable mental pain.

In addition, loneliness, routine, guilt and other reasons can make you feel bad at heart, which alone or in combination can drive you into melancholy, and sometimes even depression. If this has already happened, be sure to read Richard O'Connor's book " Depression is cancelled. How to return to life without doctors and drugs". It will help you get rid of self-destructive attitudes and return to a fulfilling life.

What not to do

Before you learn how to handle situations that are really, really hard, remember what you should never do.

Endlessly scroll through the heavy memories

A person who has suffered a shock often fixates on it. He relives what happened over and over again, thereby only intensifying his pain. You can constantly play various scenarios, come up with possible developments of events and imagine how everything would have turned out if you had acted differently in that situation. But the result will be the same - you will not be able to change what happened, no matter how much you mentally return to the past. And endless resurrection and experiencing negative experiences will only exacerbate the longing that interferes with a fulfilling life.

Seek solace in alcohol or drugs

Sometimes the temptation to “get drunk and forget” is so great that it is difficult to resist. Indeed, in a state of intoxication, a person perceives reality differently. An altered mind reacts to problems differently than a sober mind. Moreover, drugs can not only distract, but, on the contrary, aggravate the condition.

Therefore, if it is very hard and you want to cry, do not try to drown out these feelings with a glass of wine. Even if, in a state of intoxication, you do not do anything that you will later regret, your problems will not be solved in this way. And when you wake up the next day, you will again meet with the reality from which you tried to escape.

How to overcome heartache

Find the root of the problem

If a specific problem led you to your current state, finding it will be easy. the situation is more complicated - you will have to analyze the situation and understand what events knocked you out of your normal state.

Let go of the past

No matter how the memories torment you, realize that all this is already in the past and at that moment you will not return. So what is the point of constantly reopening the wound, scrolling through and experiencing old grievances? Now you can not influence what happened in any way, but your future depends only on you. So, you need to accept what happened and move on.

Forgive offenders

Forgiving someone who hurt you can be incredibly difficult at times. But you definitely need to do it. As long as there is room in your soul for resentment, pain and disappointment, they will poison your life. You need to forgive the offender even if he is not going to ask you for forgiveness.

To make it easier for you to do this, do a simple exercise. Place two chairs in front of you - sit on one yourself, and on the other imagine the person who offended you. Tell an imaginary opponent when and how he hurt you. Having expressed all claims, forgive him.

The important point is that all this must be said aloud. Mental monologue is ineffective. Perhaps at some point you will stumble or feel like crying. It's okay - let your emotions out. Repeat the exercise until the words of forgiveness become sincere, coming from the heart. You will feel relieved and finally be able to leave the experience in the past.

Ask for forgiveness from those you offended

Sometimes it is bad at heart due to the fact that having offended someone you cannot apologize, although. Sometimes pride becomes an obstacle, sometimes fear. But be that as it may, you need to find the strength and courage in yourself to repent and ask for forgiveness.

Starting a frank conversation is likely to be difficult. After all, you should not just say “I’m sorry,” but explain to the person that you are sincerely sorry for what you said or did.

Do not expect to be forgiven for sure - this decision is entirely up to your opponent. If he is very worried about what happened, then it will be difficult to reach him. But you do not have the task of obtaining forgiveness at any cost. Sincerely asking for forgiveness, you can leave what happened in the past and move on.

Turn to God

If you are a believer, prayer will help you put your thoughts in order, ease your soul and find peace and balance. It is not scary if you do not know the words of the prayer by heart. Speak what is in your heart - it is important that your words are sincere.

Leave your familiar environment

If the reason that your heart is heavy and you don’t want to live is fatigue, routine or loneliness, try a change of scenery. Where exactly and for how long you will go depends on your capabilities and preferences. The main thing is that you break out of the ordinary, get new emotions and impressions.

For someone, an extreme tour with the conquest of mountain peaks and rafting on turbulent rivers will be a good shake-up. Someone will feel a taste for life, walking along the streets of Old Europe and admiring the ancient architecture. And someone will return a good mood to a trip to a quiet village, where you can look at what is happening from the side and understand where to go next.

Even if you do not consider yourself a talented person, try to find an outlet in the creative process. Have you long wanted to try your hand at fine arts, music or needlework? Do it now!

Being engaged in creativity, you can not only relax, distract from sad thoughts and experiences. It's also a good way to give yourself some time to recover and see a way out of the stalemate. No need to worry that this is a childish hobby - it is important that you enjoy the process and the result.

Take care of someone

Often we consider our own problems as the apogee of troubles and misfortunes. But if you look around, you can see that many have a much harder time than us. Take care of those who need it, and you will feel that your soul becomes easier.

Choose an activity to your liking. You can take care of a lonely retired neighbor or join volunteers taking care of children from an orphanage. Someone will pick up a homeless puppy, and someone will remember that he has not visited his old parents for a long time.

You don't need any feats. Just make the world around you a little better and the gratitude of those around you will gradually drive out the pain from your soul and fill it with warmth.

Now you know what to do when your heart is heavy and it seems that you no longer want to live. The main thing is not to close yourself in your shell, feeling sorry for yourself and mourning the difficult fate. There is a way out of any situation, and you will definitely find it, using the advice of a psychologist.

Perhaps you have managed to overcome this condition on your own. Write what helped you with this? If you consider your situation special and do not know how to do it right, ask a question in the comments and together we will find the right solution.