In the process of looking for a better job, many were faced with the need to change jobs. It is good if this happened by mutual agreement of the parties: the employer and the employee. But what if your plans did not include leaving your home in the next couple of years? Dismissal is not a pleasant thing, therefore it is often accompanied by a long chain of changes in emotional states.

Psychologists note that a person who has just been fired or laid off goes through several stages after losing a job.

Resentment

Of course, the first of these is resentment. We all have this feeling. Together with worries and thoughts about the days spent, energy, and often the health that had to be left behind the doorstep of the company, such an employee, of course, regrets what happened and mentally tries to find mistakes in his actions.

It is good if the dismissed employee directs his resentment mainly towards the incompetence of his abuser and will support his arguments with an undeservedly inflicted insult. Much sadder will be the consequences of self-flagellation and remorse, which can lead to prolonged stress.

Euphoria

The next stage that the dismissed person's nervous system needs to go through is euphoria from sudden freedom.

Bound by routine, a person suddenly feels all the charm of his free position. And since he is, in many ways, a victim of circumstances, the reasons for the disorder are becoming less and less. In addition, the entire labor market opens up for such a person again, and he is ready for new searches.

Unpreparedness

And here very often the problem of emotional unpreparedness arises.

A dismissed employee subconsciously tries to find a clone of his old company, and when he meets new obligations that require more improved or additional work, then difficulties arise with the habit of the old routine. Hence the unwillingness to try something new for yourself, and as a result, a long search and unsuccessful interviews.

Of course, wasted time and nerves, reproaches from relatives or questions from friends negatively affect the general mood and enthusiasm.

Apathy

Thus, a new stage begins - this is apathy.

I don't want to take on absolutely anything. I want to go with the flow and stay at home. Someone goes through this stage quite quickly, and some have to wait several years for a “kick” from life circumstances, when job search turns not into a hobby, but into an urgent need.

To alleviate the condition of a dismissed person, psychologists recommend supporting him, but this must be done competently.

For example, if you find out that your friend or loved one has recently been fired, then it is better to refrain from comments and questions until he himself wants to raise this topic.

Psychological support

At the stage of looking for a job, the seeker needs support and encouragement. Since any new activity will scare him away, you should not show keen interest in the desired new position, as well as focus on the disadvantages of the proposed vacancy, so as not to shake the feeling of confidence in the person in search.

You can help the dismissed person in drawing up a competent resume, registering on job search sites, as well as sending your candidacy to companies' e-mails.

Getting fired is one of the toughest experiences you can face in your career. As an acting coach, I have personally witnessed the shock, grief, and anxiety that accompany this. Getting fired can create helplessness and self-doubt in the form of a frightening loss of control and the voice of a relentless internal critic - especially if your coworkers keep their jobs.

How well you move to the next stage of your career and life depends on your perception. While being fired temporarily knocks the ground out from under your feet, it won't ruin your career if you can figure out how to control how you feel about what happened.

Working with senior executives who have gone through layoffs, I've watched some pull themselves together, move forward and finally succeed, while others get stuck in a cycle of anger and self-blame. Destructive thinking patterns keep them in a swamp of failures, make them unable to regain ground under their feet and decide on the future. Below, I suggest three ways you can calm your inner critic, increase your resilience to stress, and stay productive after being fired.

Maintain a positive attitude. To bounce back from failure, stop endlessly replaying the same thing in your head. This adds more problems than helps to solve them. The way of thinking influences recovery from a layoff. Let me give you an example of the stories of two 50-year-old men with whom I worked. Let's call them Owen and Bob.

Owen took the news of his dismissal hard, even though it was the result of a merger and not based on the results of his work. He continued to blame himself, wondering: “How could I not see where this is going? I am not fit for science and I will never have another job in my fifty. " Instead of pondering further plans, Owen spent time torturing himself and scrolling through vacancies, becoming more and more frustrated. When Owen came to see me a few months after he was fired, he was barely getting out of bed in the morning. He could not get rid of self-criticism, constantly blamed himself for losing his job, while some colleagues kept it - and as a result, he slipped into depression.

Bob also survived being fired, but acted differently. After the initial shock of the news, he updated his resume and LinkedIn page to show that he was looking for a job and began to systematically build connections with his audience. Despite his worries about temporary unemployment, he kept reminding himself, "I have marketing skills and now is a good opportunity to take advantage of to explore my career opportunities." Within a few weeks, Bob had identified potential job opportunities. More than thirty of his acquaintances agreed to help find work.

The key difference between Owen and Bob's stories is not that one feels better than the other after being fired. Initially, both were equally frustrated by the loss of their jobs. But unlike Owen, Bob focused on controlling the situation and did not engage in constant self-criticism.

Don't let negative thoughts take over. It’s perfectly normal to find yourself in the grip of anger and self-deprecation after you’re fired, and these feelings can linger in your head for a long time. While it's important to be aware of the feelings that come with being fired, it's also important to pay attention to what you are telling yourself and determine if your feelings help or hinder your goals. By asking questions of your inner critic, you can stop the destructive cycle of self-blame that is holding you back from moving forward.

Here are some examples of common negative thoughts paired with questions you can ask yourself to take a sober view of the future.

Thought:"I could have done more and prevented dismissal."

Question:"What are the reasons to believe that I could have prevented the dismissal?"

Thought:“Firing will lead to a loss of skills or some other disadvantage.”

Question:"Why am I sure that this will lead to a deterioration in my abilities?"

Thought:"I was not lucky to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Question:"What could have made my job unclaimed?"

Thought:"This is a misfortune from which I can never recover."

Question:"What career opportunities am I free to explore now?"

Shift your focus from disadvantages to advantages. As a rule, when you lose your job, you try to figure out what you did wrong, and contemplate all sorts of miscalculations. By focusing on your weaknesses, you are more likely to forget or minimize your strengths.

To replace a demotivating approach with a more positive one, take a look at your entire career. If you are just starting out, think back to your current educational experience. The purpose of this exercise is to find out what professional and personal setbacks you have already experienced and what problems you have dealt with on the way to your current position. Think back to how you suffered from another difficult situation that you eventually overcame.

With this in mind, ask yourself the following questions.

• What strengths did you use to solve your problems?
• What have you learned about yourself as you overcome challenges?
• How can you leverage your strengths in this transitional phase of your career?

In a stress-resistance training developed by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania for the US Army, participants united and performed heavy combat missions using developed team skills. After you leave, you can use the same approach by looking back at situations in which you have tensed in the past.

With the right mindset and proactive questioning, getting fired is more likely to succeed than fail. The ability to set your course in life, choose the perspective from which you look at the situation, and develop an awareness of your benefits are just a few of the unexpected benefits that await you after you deal with the baggage of anger and frustration. As my former client said when starting a new job: “If I had been left without a job, I would have known that I would be so happy a year later”.

Firing from work is no longer a rarity, and more and more people are trying to figure out how to get over leaving their job. Termination of the contract is not always caused by the lack of the necessary professional qualities; for completely different reasons, ambitious and talented people leave their jobs. Psychologists give some tips on how to cope with being fired from your job.

The first wave of emotions

When a person hears the phrase “You’re fired,” the spectrum of emotions can range from resentment to rage. Do not let off steam right in front of your boss, crying or banging your fists on the table. In many cases, it will be more beneficial to leave the workplace with dignity. If the dismissal seems unfair, the issue can be resolved in the labor inspectorate or in court.

For reference! By a court decision, you can be reinstated in office and receive compensation for the time of the forced rest. This right is enshrined in Article 392 of the Labor Code.

In most cases, management seeks to gently part with employees, so you can safely demand compensation or letters of recommendation. By solving the conflict in your favor, you can feel more confident and, if you wish, go in search of a new job.

Rebuild in a new way

When the employment contract is terminated, you need to take time to recover. Everyone who was fired experienced a bit of disappointment and dissatisfaction with themselves. Many do not tell their relatives and friends about what happened, which is fundamentally wrong - you need to speak out, release emotions and look at the situation from a different angle.

Advice! Psychologists say that by repeating a story from time to time, a person is better aware of his feelings, and in the end he begins to perceive what is happening less acutely. Gradually, the very fact of dismissal will cease to be significant, which means that there will be nothing to worry about.

Pouring out his soul to the interlocutors, a person begins to understand what caused the dismissal. If this is a lack of professionalism or competence, it makes sense to take refresher courses and read professional literature. Changing your occupation is also a good solution.

And as for the cases when the employer initiated a dismissal order due to a difference in views, then a couple of days will be enough to restore peace of mind.

On the way from old work to new

Upon learning of the upcoming dismissal, many regard this as an extraordinary vacation. But psychologists strongly advise not to postpone the search on the back burner - the absence of the usual load can cause neurosis or depressive disorder.

Being in a job search for a long period, a person imperceptibly falls into depression. A negative attitude makes it difficult to successfully pass interviews, soon, and the desire to work disappears. Internal experiences are transferred to the body, and psychosomatic disorders can appear.

Interesting! It is often possible to notice how a person who has lost his job or retired is rapidly aging, more often than usual, gets sick.

Free time should be used profitably!

If you can't quickly get a job in a new company, you shouldn't chill out and waste your free time in vain. You need to stick to your normal daily routine by filling your schedule with new activities:

• learning foreign languages;
• reading fiction;
• hobby;
• playing sports;
• visiting doctors.

Employment

Before going to an interview, you should prepare yourself mentally. Whatever the reasons for leaving your previous position, you should not speak negatively about the former employer. It is enough to describe the situation briefly and as dispassionately as possible. It is desirable to focus on your professional qualities and achievements.

Advice! If there is a link to a "bad" article in the work book, you can make a duplicate of it at the penultimate place of work without an impartial record.

When communicating with new bosses, it is worth asking carefully about job responsibilities and privileges. It is irrational to agree to the very first proposals - you need to assess the working conditions, the level of wages and the amount of work. When expectations match reality, you can send it to the HR department for employment.

Retirement

Finding what to do after being laid off is the hardest thing for retirees. Elderly people are practically not invited to work, and it is extremely difficult to find a job again, especially by profession.

In addition, age makes itself felt, and often apathy follows dismissal from a favorite position, and the risk of depression increases. On the other hand, many see a plus in dismissal, after long years of service they finally start to take care of themselves, find new hobbies.

At first, you should devote more time to communicating with former colleagues, not to distance yourself from them. Gradually, you need to understand yourself and understand what all your life you wanted to do in addition to your profession - it can be creating oil paintings, breeding purebred dogs, traveling around the world and much more.

In no case should you be isolated, make yourself endless weekends, consisting of get-togethers on the couch. The more things are planned for the day, the more you can get positive emotions and new impressions.

Firing from work is no longer a rarity, and more and more people are trying to figure out how to get over leaving their job. Termination of the contract is not always caused by the lack of the necessary professional qualities; for completely different reasons, ambitious and talented people leave their jobs. Psychologists give some tips on how to cope with being fired from your job.

The first wave of emotions

When a person hears the phrase “You’re fired,” the spectrum of emotions can range from resentment to rage. Do not let off steam right in front of your boss, crying or banging your fists on the table. In many cases, it will be more beneficial to leave the workplace with dignity. If, it is possible to resolve the controversial issue in the labor inspectorate or in court.

For reference! By a court decision, you can be reinstated in office and receive compensation for the time of the forced rest. This right is enshrined in Article 392 of the Labor Code.

In most cases, management seeks to gently part with employees, so you can safely demand compensation or letters of recommendation. By solving the conflict in your favor, you can feel more confident and, if you wish, go in search of a new job.

Rebuild in a new way

When the employment contract is terminated, you need to take time to recover. Everyone who was fired experienced a bit of disappointment and dissatisfaction with themselves. Many do not tell their relatives and friends about what happened, which is fundamentally wrong - you need to speak out, release emotions and look at the situation from a different angle.

Advice! Psychologists say that by repeating a story from time to time, a person is better aware of his feelings, and in the end he begins to perceive what is happening less acutely. Gradually, the very fact of dismissal will cease to be significant, which means that there will be nothing to worry about.

Pouring out his soul to the interlocutors, a person begins to understand what caused the dismissal. If this is a lack of professionalism or competence, it makes sense to take refresher courses and read professional literature. Changing your occupation is also a good solution.

And as for the cases when the employer initiated a dismissal order due to a difference in views, then a couple of days will be enough to restore peace of mind.

On the way from old work to new

Many regard this as an extraordinary vacation. But psychologists strongly advise not to postpone the search on the back burner - the absence of the usual load can cause neurosis or depressive disorder.

Being in a job search for a long period, a person imperceptibly falls into depression. A negative attitude makes it difficult to successfully pass interviews, soon, and the desire to work disappears. Internal experiences are transferred to the body, and psychosomatic disorders can appear.

Interesting! It is often possible to notice how a person who has lost his job or retired is rapidly aging, more often than usual, gets sick.

Free time should be used profitably!

If you can't quickly get a job in a new company, you shouldn't chill out and waste your free time in vain. You need to stick to your normal daily routine by filling your schedule with new activities:

• learning foreign languages;
• reading fiction;
• hobby;
• playing sports;
• visiting doctors.

Employment

Before going to an interview, you should prepare yourself mentally. Whatever the reasons for leaving your previous position, you should not speak negatively about the former employer. It is enough to describe the situation briefly and as dispassionately as possible. It is desirable to focus on your professional qualities and achievements.

Advice! If there is a link to a "bad" article in the work book, you can make a duplicate of it at the penultimate place of work without an impartial record.

When communicating with new bosses, it is worth asking carefully about job responsibilities and privileges. It is irrational to agree to the very first proposals - you need to assess the working conditions, the level of wages and the amount of work. When expectations match reality, you can send it to the HR department for employment.

Retirement

Finding what to do after being laid off is the hardest thing for retirees. Elderly people are practically not invited to work, and it is extremely difficult to find a job again, especially by profession.

In addition, age makes itself felt, and often apathy follows dismissal from a favorite position, and the risk of depression increases. On the other hand, many see a plus in dismissal, after long years of service they finally start to take care of themselves, find new hobbies.

At first, you should devote more time to communicating with former colleagues, not to distance yourself from them. Gradually, you need to understand yourself and understand what all your life you wanted to do in addition to your profession - it can be creating oil paintings, breeding purebred dogs, traveling around the world and much more.

In no case should you be isolated, make yourself endless weekends, consisting of get-togethers on the couch. The more things are planned for the day, the more you can get positive emotions and new impressions.