the main - Verber Bernard
Lee a person change the character. How to change your character. Sample imitation

Dear readers today we will talk about whether it is possible to change the character of a person for the better. You will learn what methods this can be achieved. You will be aware that the ability of self-control is important in this desire.

Algorithm of action

  1. Must come an understanding of what features need to be developed.
  2. To make a replacement. A person will be difficult to get rid of something right away. First you need to try to minimize the manifestation of bad features.
  3. Find yourself an imitation item.
  4. A person who seeks to change should be some kind of motive, and quite strong. For example, when the family collapses due to the gross behavior of a man.

What is the character to get

Before learning how to change the character of a girl or a guy, you need to clearly decide how he wants to become, find out what needs to strive for.

  1. Sometimes the desire to change dictated by the subconscious desire to be on someone like. It is important to simply improve yourself, and not fully adapt to someone.
  2. Before changing the character, it is important to determine the life destination, with its niche. If a person is in his place, to engage in his loved business, his character can take peace with time. That is, this process will be unconscious. It is also necessary to understand that a person who works in an unloved place is constantly in stress, voltage, also begins to change the character, but in a bad side.
  3. Discipline should appear in life. A person must live, having a clear routine, plans for the future, to know the goal, and strive to achieve it, then the character will adapt.
  4. Dedicate time to self-development. A person cannot just live further, hope that one day his behavior will become good. Always for this you need to apply special efforts. If you are aimed at the result, you should know what at first it will be difficult, hands can be sank, comprehend failures, the fear of what nothing will come out. However, everything is necessary to overcome and strive for the better.
  5. The character of men can often influence bad habits, especially alcohol abuse. In such a situation, the main struggle will be directed against them.

How to change

  1. Analyze the features of your character. The first thing to do is to detect your drawbacks. To do this, you can use a sheet of paper, spread it into two columns, to the first to write out its positive features, in the second - its drawbacks. When the list is over, you can appreciate the entire situation as a whole, see the "enemy" in the face. Next will need to find out what methods can be resistant to its disadvantages.
  2. Big influence on the character of a person can have books. Therefore, very correct literature. If you are aware of your problems, you can contact the special literature related to issues on psychology or to books in which the fate of people with complex character is revealed.
  3. It is very important to learn yourself to control the emotions. Perhaps, noticed that some of your words are painted with other people, and it is no longer possible to return them. That is why it is so important to learn to be silent in moments of anger.
  4. In his desire to change the character, you can seek help to relatives, close friends. They will certainly be interested in saving you from flaws.
  5. A person can try to train his willpower training. You can create artificial situations, on the examples of which to learn how to go out correctly, not to be angry.

Revilization with self-control

A person can change his character, learn to control himself. What should I do for this?

  1. Be able to switch attention. As soon as the temptation is to appear, it is necessary to immediately begin to think about something else.
  2. No need to act on the Nativity, to do spontaneously. All solutions must be suspended and deliberate.
  3. It is important to train a general model of behavior. A person must find out what areas he will have to work on himself. You must understand that you can affect the features of your character, but you cannot change what depends on the interaction of two or more people. For example, to become a great husband will not work without the participation of the beloved woman.
  4. It is important to be able to carry out self-analysis, to be determined with your needs and desires, goals in life. After conducting self-analysis, think about what people are around. If you see the traits that, and you yourself would like to possess, are more often in the society of these people.
  5. It is also necessary to work on its complexes and fears, learn to make independent decisions.
  1. If a person is aware that he himself is not able to change, then you can turn to a psychologist who will give valuable advice, will explain what exactly it is not how to deal with it.
  2. There should be awareness that bad character, first of all, spoils life. Changing, you will alleviate it, pay relationships with loved ones.
  3. Remove all the best in your friends and relatives. Realize that at first glance it seems rudeness, intervention, in fact, the manifestation of care.
  4. Always program yourself for positive thoughts, think about how good you look like a beautiful world.
  5. Arrange personal life, sometimes love is able to change people.
  6. Create the creation of the right routine of the day, pay time for sports and your favorite business.
  7. Start performing good actions, for example, go to the store for a neighbor, which is already unable to go out.
  8. Stop lying, all the secret will still pop up out. From this, the attitude of people to you will deteriorate significantly.
  9. Learn to own your emotions, control them.
  10. By changing your habits, do not forget about your appearance.
  11. You need to learn how to make a compromise, give up your loved ones.
  12. A person must understand that sometimes the reason is not in a bad character, but in the developed complexes.
  13. You need to learn how to keep your advantages in priority and try to hide the shortcomings.

How to change your character? Whether it is possible to change in nature, a person does not think about the moments of joy and satisfaction with life, it usually happens when it is once again faced with its own undesirable reactions that violate the priority course of events or begin to think about changes due to frequent remarks of others Self or the convenience of the nearest environment.

However, we can change the character only as a result of the new experience gained or with the use of huge volitional effort. In addition, the requirement to change its characterological characteristics, without specifying details requiring changes and to which direction, can give an absolutely unexpected result due to the fact that the worldview of various people is very different. So, asking for his friend to improve the character, you can assume add confident traits and perseverance, whereas he thinks about bringing tolerance and even greater softness.

Can a person change his character?

Specific time it was believed that it is impossible to change the character, because It is congenital, but genetic definition of the feature is less than ten percent of the entire totality of characterical manifestations. What is impossible to change is, since it directly reflects the strength and organization of the nervous system, which are exclusively biodegradable indicators. In most part, the nature form and change the interests, which are also not static over the course of life (in childhood, preference causes completely different types of activity than in adulthood, and character changes accordingly).

The next factor, what is the character is - a circle of communication, it is those with whom we spend most of the time or those who have greater emotional significance for us affect our reactions and their changes, preferences in the time spent and tastes. But these are factors that affect the influence of a person through which he can change its characterological features, albeit everything, however, there are factors that are not influenced (at least in childhood, at the stage of personality formation) - habitat (there are no so much Geographical data, how many mentality and its features affecting the formation of values \u200b\u200band interests) and upbringing (own example or models of interaction parents and school vaccinate or destroy certain features than form a warehouse of character).

The question of an independent change of character, also in the selected side equally deserves two opposite answers: yes, it is possible, since the character is not a static indicator laid down genetically, and no, it is impossible, since we change the nature not under the influence of informed factors, but in the presence corresponding Changes in the inner or external environment. But, nevertheless, people are trying to change their character, guided by the power of the will, and face failure, because for such serious personal changes it costs little in front of whom. Usually you want to become a little different under the influence of a temporary impulse (threw a loved one, Nahamil the head, etc.), and when life is normalized, there is no desire to change. This testifies to the absence of motivation or the force of will, about the deterrent factors or hidden needs, since in reality, the nature is subject to change. Ascertaining from habits and typical ways of response and thinking, the influence of the surrounding society, education and performance, character changes when these indicators change.

How to change your character? Character changes independently with age (under the influence of life experience), depending on the situation (the most modest quietness, when approaching danger, will begin to act actively and attract attention) and from the environment (in different countries and with different people we show different traits). And if under the change in the nature, to understand the ability of a person to respond in the necessary situation in another way, differing from its usual, then such changes are possible, and easily carried out by each of us, except for cases of pathological changes.

If the question is, it is possible to change the character, as a systematic, and not situational quality and change its response not only in a specific situation, but to change all the stylistics of life, then such transformations are quite difficult. This does not deny opportunities for everyone, but the real facts of full change in the style of life response happened quite rarely, because it requires redressing the entire internal structure of a person.

The character represents a set of habits of not only the materialistic and domestic plan, but also the response methods, respectively, the more the amount of habits a person is able to change, the greater changes in nature are available to it. The ability to similar changes is lost over the years, so at a young age with such ease, totting new people and new places, and in the elderly it is difficult to interact in unusual forms, since it is hard to change its usual stereotypical reactions. Characteristic can be congenital quality, so someone will unconsciously change and adapt to the conditions, remaining flexible and adaptive all life (such people do not have problems change in nature), and someone bears their convictions through all their lives and various events, Without moving from place in their moral concepts.

Amend the character as a way to interact with reality remains possible and not always a difficult event, but requiring awareness. Understanding, why do you change (for the sake of quality changes in your life or for the convenience of others, expressing dissatisfaction with your complex character), adequate (assessment of the degree of development and availability of certain qualities) and setting the goal (which way to change and to what extent of manifestation) Help the correctly choose how to achieve ways and not to quit a venture at half.

How to change your character for the better

Under the changes for the better, different people can imply opposite things - someone lacks stiffness, and someone tolerance, someone tries to learn to listen to others, and to another relevant to learn to refuse. Therefore, before proceeding to changes in your character, you need to analyze the already available qualities, criticize the need for their change. You can draw up lists of their advantages and disadvantages, and then draw up such lists from the point of view of the people around. Only after the analysis of the situation can be taken as amendment, because it can be floating that what is unwanted by your employees actually makes you an effective employee and does not allow them to throw on you work or what you considered confidently wounds all your loved ones.

Assist in analyzing their personality can literature and films, thematic meetings and psychological consultations - in all such events you get the opportunity to think about, analyze the behavior of other people, take something to yourself in an example or see the consequences of such a tactics of behavior. The deep works are not only forced to look at the world otherwise, the experience of another interaction in our inner world is laid in our inner world, if there will be quite a lot of behavioral variations in the inner picture of the world and, besides, they are tooustomated, the freedom to choose their nature will be yours, and Present a light process.

The analysis must form two images - you are currently in the future. Regarding the first one - it is worth stopping yourself to deceive and justify, and honestly recognize the presence of those qualities that exist ("I often teck out in the neighbor, but I give generous gifts" to reformulate in "I often break into the neighbor, this is a fact, I am capable of generosity, This is also a fact "). Regarding the desired image - it is worth finding people or characters, on which this issue can be equal. Look carefully to people whose character is presented to you, whether all the features are satisfied with you, whether the lifestyle is suitable for you, which they lead and other details. After a careful study, it may be that in everything like only one feature, and the entire accompanying lifestyle is not critical to you, then you should review where you strive.

When choosing examples of character, focus on your own sensations, since the list of qualities of the best or worst does not exist - what makes your life happier and more successful, more successful, then is your personal improvement, even the rest consider it negative. Just as the praise of certain approaches and views does not necessarily have an improvement in your character, if after this you will be more often nervous, to get tired more and set insincere relationships. The first thing that is commemorated on the way to any changes is to strengthen. It is important to go from the usual model of response and interaction to the new one - take a pause to think about your reaction, then the act in a new or former key will be your choice and it means that such behavior corresponds to the situation or this feature you decided to leave. The hot temper can be replaced by ironic remarks, rapid consent to the detriment of polite refusals.

If a person himself does not notice the harm caused by his character surrounding, existing relations and his life as a whole, you can help familiar and loved ones, forcing our questions to think about what is happening - it is important to ask questions about the motivation of the action, and not to require changes in an ultimative form. If a person does not affect, then perhaps the assistance of a psychotherapist is already needed, since complex character often hides the trauma of the person and without the corresponding study of patients with the changes is unsafe. Specialist assistance is necessary and when changes have become pathological and it is necessary to drugly focus on at least an affective sphere.

How to change your character to the tougher

One of the misconceptions about the desired character adjustments is that changes for the better are perceived as an increase and tolerance, loyalty and softness. But the problem is that such characters are very comfortable for others, presenting the problem for the person himself. It is considered better, but people with such a warehouse take too many other people's problems, forgetting about their own needs, which ends with a shortage of energy on solving their own issues.

If you are less and less in your life, and thoughts are constantly engaged in solving other people's problems, it is worth adding stiffness in nature. Take a closer to people or characters, able to show rigidity, but remaining kind and fair, watch how they come in difficult situations than guided by selecting. Among your friends, as well as the heroes of books, there are for sure those who can borrow a pair of advances to defend their position by correct methods. This is mainly reduced to the ability to refuse, without a sense of guilt, arranging priorities in such a way that your life and moral well-being will not suffer. Many people continue to eat all your time because you yourself did not have enough value if you understand that your weekend is dedicated to rest, and the evening with your family you will not exchange to work and the good attitude of colleagues - then respect for you will begin to manifest much more And the number of requests that prevent living will decrease.

Learn to express your opinion, do not adjust it under a higher, significant person or most, but to voice out our point of view that you may have to defend. Make independent decisions and carry responsibility for them, take criticism, but do not let it change your opinion instantly. The development of the manifestations of your strengthens in nature, trains personal responsibility and contributes to the maturity of the person. Similarly, how to stop justifying yourself and spike that the successes that the dips are surrounding, also cease to justify others. Of course, the tsunami can demolish your office, and the hail to stop coming on time, but this can not justify the monthly inaction or lack of a warning call. The rigor to yourself and the surrounding, in detail and large-scale events - what adds rigidity. At first, it will require voltage of attention and will, so as not to give partitions, but over time you will get used to living on new laws where there is no descent not only to you, but also another, gaining a new more tough. If such manifestations are one-sided, then you will turn either in Tirana or in its responsibility. Only a clear separation and retention of the framework of your and someone else's responsibility will help compliance with the balance.

In his youth, people do not often think about how to change their character. As a rule, this thought comes with consideration and the desire to fully communicate with others. A person realizes that everyone around is not obliged to love him if he does not love himself, constantly whining and complains of life, angry or lazy.

At that moment, when you understand that your character is the cause of complex relationships in the family or at work, it is necessary to urgently take measures to correct the situation.

First step: positive thinking

In fact, poor character - as a bad habit, just get rid of it harder than, for example, quit smoking. If you can keep yourself in your hands and not buy a pack of cigarettes, then smoking there will be nothing to throw, but it is harder to throw out unnecessary thoughts from the head.

Remember, your character is your idea of \u200b\u200blife. What you think about yourself will grow and develop in you. Therefore, always imagine what kind of person you want to become.

If you are used to regretfully regret and tell you how you are not lucky in life, think about what you have. Every person has something that you can be grateful: health, children, work, appearance. If you think there is nothing - this is your chance to start everything from pure sheet. The first thing to be done before changing the character is to learn to think positively.

There is an interesting technique that can help you. Take a simple gum for money and put on your hand. As soon as a negative thought is stacked, immediately delay the gum and "click" - remember that everything is fine, and it will be even better. The habit of controlling your thoughts and do not let yourself ride in the swamp envy, offense, scandals will make you an optimist, and happiness is impossible without optimism. In turn, a happy person is confident in herself, he rejoices for himself and for others, gives good mood to others.

Second step: love for yourself

The second, without which it will not be possible to change your character - love for yourself. Each morning, waking up and stretched sweetly, come to the mirror, smile and say: "I love you." Repeat yourself as often as possible that with every minute you become better, kinder, more confident in yourself.

Such autotraining will task the correct mood for the whole day, and having received the right installation, you will follow it automatically.

Do not love yourself because you do not like your character, meaningless. As long as you do not accept yourself as it is, you will be filled with a negative in relation to yourself, and it only destroys. You, on the contrary, you need to learn how to create - create a new person who will meet your ideas.

Step Three: analysis of behavior

Character - a set of habits to respond in any way on emerging situations. Given that life consists of repetitive moments, learn how to analyze your behavior. An excellent idea will start to keep a diary. Describe what happened to you per day, how you behaved and how it was necessary to do.

For example, you want to become more confident in yourself, and today your chef suggested filling the schedule of vacations. You, of course, were silent modestly, although they dreamed of going to relax in August. Describe the current situation and the causes of your timidity, make an approximate dialogue with your chief that could take place. The next day with this conversation plan, go and boldly explain the authorities that August is perfect for your holiday. Several such situations, and soon you can stand up for yourself.

Before changing the character, think if you really need it. If you do not have discomfort in dealing with other people and live in harmony with you, you may have changed to you and nothing. Do not focus on the opinion of one person who does not like something in you.

No matter how big the character you decide to fight, you will need to follow a simple plan. First, determine what exactly is hiding behind this problem, which caused it, and what you want to replace it. For example, if you want to stop angry because of any nonsense, start smiling. Studies have shown that the habit is produced within 30 days. This means that if you control your emotions within a month, then, after this time, changes will be apparent. If a list of what you want to change is quite extensive, highlight the main points (1-2), over which you will work first.

Thinking about how you can change your character, it should be understood that some reflections are not enough, a serious work is required. When a person does not suit his body, he sits on a diet and goes to the gym. To obtain the result, you always need actions. Therefore, making the decision to change - proceed, because it depends on this to the quality of your life.

Anna, Taganrog

Commentary of the psychologist:

Character is a combination of stable mental properties and the usual standard behavioral methods. Very often, character is described in a totality of "character traits". Is it possible to change in general? The answer is yes, although this is a difficult task. Character is a secondary education depends on personal development. Personality can in its development and overcome those traits that are unacceptable for her, for example, as the author of the article writes when "the nature is the cause of complex relationships in the family or at work." Pay attention to the fact that there is a difference between the person, the sake of which a person lives (that it is important to him that is indifferent) and the character that determines how it is that the process of interaction with the world is implemented. There is even an expression: "A good person with a bad character."

Why is the person need a person? It is necessary to preserve the very personality and those motifs that move by man, i.e. It carries a protective function. To systematize and simplify life in society, a person accumulates a set of habits - stereotypical ways of behavior (in order not to meet constantly with a situation of uncertainty and not solve in everyday life permanent intrapersonal problems).

Recall the beginning of the well-known proverb: "Sile the act - get the habit ...". Character begins with a act in an uncertain situation. "In essence, poor character - as a bad habit," in principle, this is true. But it must be remembered that the character begins to line up from childhood around the innate properties of a person: such as a nervous system, temperament.

The author of the article indicates that the desire to change the character comes, as a rule, in adulthood with the emergence of problems in communication, when "a person aware that everyone is not obliged to love him if he does not like himself, constantly whines and complains of life, angry or lazy. " The main reason why a person wants to change is to get love, respect, recognition from other people. What is still deeper? Itself is difficult to get to it. It is possible that this is a fear of loneliness or emotional dependence on another person who wishes you to change. There is a danger to change yourself to others, ignore your own needs, interests, even fears, i.e. Actually "Do not love yourself."

Even if you, independently analyzing the causes and consequences of your behavior, got to the truth, to implement changes in life is not easy. The psychologist will notice pitfalls, create a favorable environment so that you testify new ways of behavior, have received a new experience in a safe, but significant setting.

What problems may face a person who decided to change his character independently? On his way, he will most likely face relapses, return to the old, with a sense of guilt about this, and as a result - a decrease in mood and motivation to change, he may have intrapersonal conflicts, "Riot" against a demanding "internal parent" And he will also discover that self-sustaining acts at a limited time. And an important point - other unexpected changes will be reached, which will take your attention and time (changing the element of the system, we act on the entire system of the whole). Remember that you need to give yourself a time to change the changes to integrate.

Now consider several separate features over which the author offers to work. If a person is "angry", it is possible that this is a signal that the situation does not suit him (wants to change and even there is energy for it), maybe it pulls the unbearable cargo, overstrains, or his surrounding does not hear it.

It is also necessary to understand what means when a person is "is lazy" in every particular case and causes of laziness. It can be both chronic fatigue and burnout syndrome. Laziness may be the cause of intrapersonal conflict when, for example, there are arguments for doing something, and there is against resistance. Maybe the inner sense of meaninglessness of any action and at the same time hope for a miracle.

It may turn out that a person has a weak nervous type of nervous system, he needs more recreation (others see in it lazy), and this is a congenital feature. It is necessary to take into account their features in the formation of its individual style (then you can compensate for the congenital qualities of the nervous system, such as fatigue, excitability, etc.). And here there are already other tasks - take yourself, adapt and explain to others that everything is fine with you - just you are from nature. Try to declare love to yourself! Here, a string of new problems and situations may arise when others do not allow you to be as you are. Man has his own character, as well as his change, knows through other people. In terms of "serious work on yourself", you can fully agree with the author. And sometimes it may be so that a person wants to change the environment, and not change his character.

The author of the article highlights a sequence of three steps to change the nature - positive thinking, love and analysis of behavior. By themselves positive thinking and love of themselves, the achievement of these states is already a goal and great value. Here you can already talk about changing the nature. "Your character is your idea of \u200b\u200blife. What you think about yourself will grow and develop in you. " I would call the first step - an increase in awareness. It is necessary to change the character with changing attitudes towards peace, to yourself (agree with the author), if it takes on, then we can assume that the character has changed.

You can agree with the phrase that "a happy person is confident in herself, he rejoices for himself and for others, gives good mood to others." And a happy person knows his characteristics, weak and strengths, takes itself. Here and self-sufficiency and fullness. Other people greatly feel our mood, which can be expected from you, and try to be closer.

In conclusion, I would like to add that the person grows, changes - this is normal and natural. It is possible to change the spontaneously under the influence of the environment (opinions of other people, society, circumstances), and you can cultivate what you think is important to develop or save. Train your skill like a muscle! Therefore, it is important to discuss with other people and experiment. Most effectively do it with a professional psychologist.

Psychologist-consultant Natalia Sushinin

Throughout life, many people think about the question: how to change your character? In this article, you will receive answers to your questions and learn how to change your character.

As you know, every person has a unique being, which has its inimitable character. People have different personal values, hobbies, worldview and perception of the world, respond differently to external changes. The character of a person is reflected in his behavior and actions, of which all his life is obtained. However, the harder and worse than the character of a person, the harder it is to realize himself and its needs in society.

Is it possible to change the character of a person?

It is worth starting with the fact that only half of the character traits are inherited. The other half is formed using accumulated life experience and habits formed. In this regard, it becomes obvious that it is possible and necessary to change.

1. Analyze and control your character

Before changing your character, you need to know what you have it now. It is unlikely that you get to change what you yourself do not fully know. Divide the sheet of paper into 2 parts. In the 1st part, write out the character traits that do not like you in you, and write the solutions to you. For example: you do not like that you always say and this is absolutely all, throwing all the work on you. The problem is that you cannot give a negative answer to different requests. Next z.naya about it just politely refuse.

2. Take yourself and your character

Taking yourself and your character you consciously come to the case of his change. You must get used to your minuses. However, do not forget that you have and pluses. Love yourself and constantly engage in your development and self-education. Recovering from his real nature, you will never be able to improve it and all the more change.

If you want to change certain traits of character, you should learn from those who have already developed these qualities. Read the books, carefully study people with the desired features of character, ask them questions and use the knowledge gained in practice.

Imagine perfect. Try to lock these emotions. Ask yourself questions: What will you do by changing the character? What will you feel? Where will you be? This tool will help you understand how specifically you see yourself and give additional motivation and desire.

There is also such a concept as affirmation. It is in the daily pronouncement of short proposals (mantra) for its own programming. Create for yourself such a mantra. For example, you want to become confident in yourself: every day I become even confident, even more beautiful, even stronger.

The desire to change the character appears in a person at the moment of understanding that his features interfere with life : Communication, career growth, building a harmonious union with a partner close.

The problem is solved by painstaking work, self-discipline, strong desire.

Is it possible to change the character itself?

Amend the character will only independently. This is a difficult job, implying painstaking daily work, which for the person himself will not be able to fulfill the other.

It used to be considered that the change in nature is impossible, it is given at birth, representing a combination of psychological traits, temperament, nerve processes of the body, brain activity - biologically predetermined inheritance of indicators.

But it is not. After analyzing their lives, it can be noted that every person differs from the one that it was 5-10 years ago. Change habits, preferences, life priorities, attitudes towards various things, the scope of interest.

Genetically, these depositors play a role in behavior: choleric is difficult to become calm, weathered, and phlegmatic will not sparkle with joy for any reason. However, with due diligence, the larger mass will be changed.

It will be necessary to work comprehensively and scenario, including awareness, analyzing every act, the word, even thought.


First of all, it is necessary to understand what features bring difficulties than they should be replaced, which will bring it.

A change plan is built, it is determined how long the process takes. Dates are set adequate, it is impossible to wake up in the morning completely new person. Prerequisite - desire and will. I wanted to "want" without any business.

Yourself will have to raise like a child. Praise for successes, fight failures that are a natural part of personal training. The path will be thorny and winding.

Places obtained in childhood play a big role. Hypercable parents, trying to protect the child from mistakes, deprive him of responsibility for actions, beat off the desire to take the initiative.

From mom-dads, templates of behavior, thinking ("sheltered the boss - come home, arrange to all the sweeping", "an honest person does not exist successful, rich", etc.). We will have to work, changing negative programs for creative.

For the better

It should be learned to think in a positive key, rejoice in insignificant daily gifts of fate, which happens with each. Started early?

I saw a beautiful dawn, drank a cup of coffee in silence while the homely sleep well. Son did not lead a ps to walk?


An excellent opportunity to unwind after work, to have a walk, start interesting new dating on a dog playground. Stuck in traffic jam? He thought over the plan of the day, drew, turned on his favorite radio and relaxed. Examples hundreds.

Sincerity is another condition. You need to be honest with you and others. Don't answer to answer yourself, what is the cause of irritation right now: really a husband, scattered socks, forgetting to buy bread, or lack of money at home, banal fatigue?

If it is called to visit, and you don't want to go, it is better to frankly say that now there is no mood or designed other plans. It is better than ruining the evening to yourself, by the event, and others, order the mood of people with a lean face.

On more hard

Holders of soft characters suffer more than others.

Personal people "love". They are comfortable, all the time they are forced to solve other people's problems, shift on them to work from negligent colleagues, asking for debt and do not give, manipulate a sense of duty, guilt. At a certain point, a person understands that he lives in other people's lives, but the word "no" is absent in the lexicon.

Begin to start with love. To yourself, the rest. It should be understood that, solving their problems, you provide a "bear" service. A friend for two months a few times asks for a new dress? Having received a refusal, she learn how to measure the level of income with needs or find a higher paid job.

Help get rid of negative impact and pressure from those surrounding team sports - Basketball, football. The team forms general energy - gives determination, purposefulness. Such a sport deprives personal responsibility for losing the opponent, gradually forming the habit of achieving the goal.

The surrounding people love a living participation directed by them. Ask about affairs, family, well-being - the case of a couple of minutes. Find points of contact will work with most colleagues, relatives.

It is difficult to introvert that avoiding empty chatter, the extroverts cope with the task simply. Enough greeting duty, polite smile, words of gratitude for the service provided.

Beyond recognition

For such changes, good reasons are needed.


What can be done:

  1. . Carefully. Down with sports costumes, alternative to sweatshirts - studs and dresses. Hairstyle, decorations, accessories - everything should be different.
  2. Change habits.Tea instead of coffee in the morning, the elevator is replaced by hiking, habit of breakfast at lunch - oatmeal at 7 am. It will be tasteless, difficult, scary, but only it will be possible to upgrade to be unrecognizable. The body is used to live in a new mode, strengthens the spirit.
  3. Test new emotions. This is the right way to transformation. Emotions give life experience, tighten the fresh environment.
  4. Choose a decent sample to follow. Copy Mimicu Kumir, habits, way of thinking, his way of success.
  5. Study yourself. Cosmos is hidden inside the person, it's time to master it. Desires, motives of actions, behavior, causes of reactions are linked inside. Realizing their origins, it is easier to manage emotions, control actions, develop abilities.
  6. In stressful situations, take a pause. It is hard to keep themselves under control of yourself in an extreme situation. The body rushes to issue the usual reaction (cry, crying, blow, escape). You can count to 50, drink a glass of water, leave for five minutes to another room - any option is suitable. Think what you need to do now, how to react, only then act.
  7. Create billets behavioral models. Most of the life situations are repeated. It is useful to single out the most frequent (communication, actions) and come up with a reaction. The colleague loves to podkaw - throw a fever in response, my mother says - suddenly agree. Behavior is recommended to come up with a diametrically opposite natural reaction.

It is important to understand that the basis of stiffness is not evil, resentment, aggression, but justice. It is better to stop communicating with toxic familiar playing on other people's weaknesses.

How to change your character correctly: 11 faithful steps

  1. Come to the awareness of the need to change, be ready to act daily.
  2. Determine what time will be devoted to the road to the "better me".
  3. Do not be afraid of mistakes, disruptions are a natural part of the development, cancel self-vacation for misses. Only analysis and control.
  4. Designation of eradicated features and the desired replacement.
  5. Exclude or minimize communication with toxic people who sow doubts, those who pull down.
  6. Workout. Spirit and body - an inseparable system: when training the muscles, the will is tempered.
  7. Learn new skills - cooking, foreign languages, "blind" printing, the game on the violin is expanding the horizons and the sphere of contacts, increase self-esteem.
  8. Rejoice in small victories, of which the great triumph will work out.
  9. Find sources of "feeding", giving the charge of enthusiasm, forces, optimism.
  10. Fix successes. Take paper, electronic diary. Analyze in detail every day.
  11. Select time for excitement. A living person will not be able to control himself around the clock. Experience - part of life helps to understand yourself, the world around. Twice a week is allowed half an hour from the heart to worry about everything at once.

Holding the rules of the plan, form a new character - Business business. Confidence in their forces, sincere desire, stubborn labor will lead to the desired result.

Surge one or two habits will not take much time, the cardinal shift will require a long period. Young people change easier because of the smaller life experience, greater flexibility of the psyche.

 


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