With rare exceptions, each of us feels the need for communication, that's how a person is.

People share information with each other, jointly develop new ideas, get to know each other and start relationships, get charged with positive and become infected with negative emotions - all this happens through communication.

Due to the exceptional importance of this process in all spheres of life, we are often very offended when they lie to us, but we do not notice it. Probably, learning to recognize lies, so that for sure and always - the blue dream of mankind. Unfortunately, this is hardly possible, if only because often a person cannot distinguish even his own inventions from reality.

However, in order to suspect something was wrong and keep your eye on it, even special devices are not required - it is enough during a conversation to pay attention to some indirect signs that unwittingly appear in your interlocutor, which can confirm or deny his words.

Lies are usually inconvenient for the person who comes up with them. He feels discomfort, nervousness, fear that he might be exposed, even when it comes to something completely harmless. And when we are talking about something serious that can affect the future life of a person, if the truth is revealed, then only a person with good self-control can behave correctly at such moments. But even in this case, if you know what to look for, you can find vivid signs indicating a person's nervousness, as well as in which places in his stories and answers it manifests itself most sharply. Let's take a look at these signs.

Speech

In our communication, words directly account for 20-40% of the transmitted information, that is, less than half. Everything else is non-verbal (that is, non-verbal) information. The methods of its transmission are studied by such a branch of linguistics as paralinguistics.

Pauses is the most common sign of deception. They can be either too long or frequent. The presence of interjections - "um", "well", "uh" - also indicates that you, perhaps, are being told a lie or something is not being said.

Raising tone is a likely sign. The speech becomes louder and faster, the person experiences excitement. The reasons can be different - anger, delight, fear. But there may be a lie.

Useless facts... To make the story compelling, people try to saturate their fictional story with real events that are far from the subject of the conversation. For example, if you want to know in detail about the people with whom your interlocutor met, what, for example, he needs to hide, then you will hear expanded micro-stories about what wonderful food was, great weather, what emotions were caused by certain everyday events, and about people can only be said in passing. In a word, they will clearly draw a vast background for you, and in the center of the picture they will only sketch a blurry sketch.

Guess the answer... It is necessary to ensure that the person answers directly, while it is not necessary to correct him and thereby put pressure on him. Remember that the question asked to the question is only an indirect answer.
If you asked, "Have you watched TV today?" - then you need to understand that this is a departure from a direct answer. However, it should be noted that people can only answer like this because they are offended by their mistrust and do not consider it necessary to answer directly.
Another option is an indirect answer, when you are also asked to think out what was said on your own, but do not speak directly, for example, to the question "Are you sure you can fix this?" the phrase “Friends consider me a wonderful master!” may follow. From it we can conclude that a person is not confident in his abilities, but he does not want to admit it either.

As you asked, so you were answered. Frequent and accurate use of phrases from your question, as well as the complete repetition of the question before the person starts to answer, may indicate insincerity. In such situations, your interlocutor does not have time to think of what to answer, so he uses your own words or takes time before answering in order to have time to construct a plausible version.

A joke instead of an answer... Pay attention to the "funny" answers. You asked, you were cleverly answered, you appreciated, laughed and moved on to another question, or did not bother this funny interlocutor anymore - a common situation. But you need to think about it, if a person often laughs it off, instead of directly answering, perhaps he does it on purpose.

Speech at different speeds... Frequent coughing, trying to clear your throat, or sudden changes in speech from normal to faster or slower can mean that the person is nervous or may be lying. This is also indicated by any objectively unconditioned change in the voice, tone of the speaker.

If, in the course of the story, a person goes back in the course of the story and supplements it with something: clarifies, says that he forgot to mention something, adds details, then this indicates a sincere story. It is difficult to remember a story made up on the go, add it in the middle, and then continue thinking from the end - there is a high probability of getting lost and confused

Body

First of all, you should pay attention to the pose of the interlocutor.

Well-known "closed poses" - crossed arms and legs. They say at least that the interlocutor is not very inclined to communicate with you. A person may look relaxed, but attempts to hide their hands, fold them over their chest or lock them on their knees give them away. It is not a fact that he is lying to you - but he clearly wants to hide something from you, not to let it slip.

It happens that a liar cringes as if he wants to take up as little space as possible.

Another pose: if a person takes a step back during a conversation, most likely, he himself does not believe in what he is telling you.

There are “slips of the tongue,” a kind of non-verbal information leak. Not every liar allows them, but if they happen, it's a sure sign of his intentions.

If a person touches his face with his hands: scratches his nose, covers his mouth, then these are signs that he subconsciously closes himself off from you, to put a barrier between you.

The most common gestures of deception are:

Other gestures of deception include

Rubbing the earlobe.
Let's go back to our monkeys! This is a "I hear nothing" gesture. It is usually accompanied by a sideways glance. Variants of this gesture: rubbing the earlobe, scratching the neck behind the ear, picking (excuse me) in the ear, or twisting it into a tube.

Scratching the neck.
Typically, people do this with the index finger of the hand with which they write. On average, a person scratches their neck 5 times a day. This gesture means doubt. That is, if a person says to you something like “Yes, yes! I completely agree with you ”and at the same time reaches out to scratch his neck, which means that in fact he does not agree and doubts.

Fingers in the mouth.
The most striking character with a finger in his mouth is Doctor Evil from the film about Austin Powers. He almost always keeps his little finger near his mouth. This is a person's unconscious attempt to return to the state of security commonly associated with infancy and sucking on the same nipple. An adult sucks on a cigar, pipe, temples, pen, or chews gum. Most of the touching of the mouth is associated with deception, but it also suggests that the person needs approval. Maybe he's lying because he's afraid you won't like the truth.

Note a gesture such as extended middle finger... He can just lie on his knee, or a person accidentally touches his face with it. This is a gesture of hostility and hidden aggression: the interlocutor seems to send you to hell.

You should also notice if the interlocutor shifts from foot to foot or even takes a small step back. This indicates a desire to leave, to distance yourself from you, so as not to give away something.
It is especially important to pay attention to back movement when asking questions. If the head of the responder will be abruptly pulled back or down- this, perhaps, is also an attempt to close.

Emotions

The behavior of a person is strikingly different depending on whether he is telling the truth or lying.

If there is a lie, then a person's emotions will be much deeper and more sensual. Any lie implies the presence of a certain mask that a person puts on himself and builds an appropriate line of his behavior. Often times, "mask" and other emotions are mixed with each other. For example, a light smile is a mask of pleasure, if this feeling is not actually experienced, mixed with signs of fear, sadness, disgust or anger. In the case of sincere joy, our eyes will see not only a smile, but also the movement of the muscles located around the eyes.

Bad reaction... Watch the other person's emotions as you talk. If a person is hiding something from you, then emotions can be expressed with a delay, remain unusually long on the person's face, and then suddenly disappear, appear before you finish the phrase.
This happens because a person is tensely thinking about something of his own, poorly maintaining the thread of a conversation and demonstrating emotions that he does not really feel.

Facial expressions lasting 5-10 seconds are usually fake. Most sincere emotions appear on the face for only a few seconds. Otherwise, they will look like a mockery. For example, a surprise that does not pass in a person for more than 5 seconds is a fake emotion.
In a sincere person, words, gestures and facial expressions are synchronized. If someone shouts: “How tired of you!” And an angry expression appears only after the reply, the anger is most likely fake.

American psychologist Paul Ekman studied facial expressions and counted a total of 46 independent facial movements. However, he found that in combination with each other, they can convey about 7000 unique emotions! Interestingly, many of the muscles that set the face in motion are not controlled by consciousness. This means that a fake smile will always differ slightly from the real one.

Behavior in case of provocations

Rapid breathing, heaving of the chest, frequent swallowing, perspiration protruding are signs of intense anxiety. It is possible that they are lying to you. Blush is a sign of embarrassment, but you can also get embarrassed out of shame for lying.

Do you like field hockey? If you try to abruptly change the subject, a person telling a lie will take it with relief, support your initiative, because he understands that the less you talk to him, the less chance he will have to “pierce” and betray himself. If the interlocutor is sincere, then his natural reaction will be a misunderstanding of the reason for the change of topic, dissatisfaction that his story was not heard. He will try to get back to the topic of the conversation.

I don't like you guys ... If you have doubts about the veracity of the interlocutor's words, MirSovetov advises to implicitly show that you do not believe the interlocutor's story: after his answer to the next question, pause, look closely, with disbelief. If they are not honest with you, it will cause embarrassment, uncertainty. If a person is telling the truth, then often he begins to get irritated, to stare at you. In it, the following changes can be noted: embarrassment disappears, lips tighten, eyebrows frown.

Eye movements

It is rightly said that the eyes are the window to the soul. A person is designed in such a way that the eyes are actively involved in the process of thinking.

They take a position depending on which area of ​​the brain is involved in this moment... Knowing this, one can assume what the brain is doing at one point or another in the dialogue: inventing something new or processing real information.

If a person confidently wants to defend his lie and deliberately lies, he tries to maintain eye contact. He looks deeply into the eyes. This is to know if you believe his lies.

And when a person is caught unawares and wants to lie so that everyone will forget about it, he immediately switches your attention: he goes to another room supposedly on business or starts tying his shoes, sorting through papers and muttering something under his breath ...

However, sometimes a person looks into the eyes in the hope of seeing support. He may not lie, but be very unsure of his righteousness.

Watch your blinking. When they lie, they often blink involuntarily, because for many a lie is all the same. But, in addition, increased blinking may mean that the subject of the conversation is unpleasant to him, it is painful. And the less often a person blinks, the happier he is at that moment.

When asking a question, pay attention to the movement of the eyes at the moment when the person answers. When a person really tries to remember all the details and tell you, he looks to the right. When a person comes up with something, his gaze moves to the left.

Usually when a person is something remembers (comes up with) he looks not just to the side, but down (right down, left down)

See the neurolinguist chart for what eye movements indicate.

Let's imagine that the picture shows the face of your interlocutor. Further, in order to avoid confusion, we will agree to write about you when you look at the "interlocutor's face", and in brackets there will be instructions regarding the person depicted in the diagram

You see that the eyes of the interlocutor

• Watching left and up from you(the person looks to the upper right corner), this indicates the construction of the picture.
• To the right and up from you(for him, this is the upper left corner) - an appeal to visual memory.
• Watching to the left(for the interlocutor, the right side) - comes up with a sound,
• to the right(for him the left side) - tries to remember what he heard.
• Eyes bottom and left(lower right corner) - test of sensations and feelings.
• Bottom and right(lower left corner) - reflects on the situation, talks to himself.
• If the look straight, then the person perceives the information.

For example, if you asked your boss about the salary date, and, while answering, he looked down and to the right in relation to you, then he thought about it for the first time and forms an answer “on the fly”, reflects. And if just to the right, it means that he says what he heard earlier from the higher authorities.

Pay attention to this nuance: if you are speaking to a left-handed person, then the left and right sides are opposite to each other. This is also true for right-handers, in whom the left hemisphere, however, predominates over the right, for example, the so-called. retrained left-handers.

There is an opinion that a direct eye-to-eye gaze symbolizes the sincerity of a person, but if the eyes are averted, then they say that someone "hides" his eyes and hides something. In reality, this is not the case. In the course of a conversation, it is often necessary to break eye contact in order to focus on some thought, think, remember.
Based on materials from bskltd.ru, mirsovetov.ru

Interesting fact:

Scientists at the State University of New York at Buffalo have developed a high-tech polygraph. Based on eye movements, it recognizes when a person is telling the truth and when a lie. According to the researchers, their system is capable of detecting a false statement with an accuracy of more than 80%.

The new system has been tested on volunteers. Before starting the experiment, they were asked to guess if they stole a check that was written in the name political party which they don't support. An interrogator sat next to the subjects, who first asked questions not related to the topic, and then directly asked about "theft."

At this time, the program, using webcams, monitored the violation of the trajectory of eye movement, the rate of blinking and the frequency with which the participants in the experiment shifted their gaze. As a result, the system was able to successfully identify lies in 82.2% of cases, while for experienced investigators this ratio was about 60%.

How to recognize lies by facial expressions and gestures:

It should be noted that as in nature there are no two identical personalities, each person is individual in its own way, so there is no universal set of signals that reveal a lie. Therefore, all signs must be carefully analyzed in the context of the current situation, and, pay attention to both the voice and emotions, and not forget about body movements. The tongue can lie, but the body cannot lie.

However, be careful and do not jump to conclusions, no matter how perceptive people you are, because even Sherlock Holmes once suspected the girl of a terrible crime, mistaking her awkward gesture for trying to hide the truth. Later it turned out that the girl was just ashamed of her not powdered nose: o).

And what do you think,

“Eyes are the mirror of the soul,” as one well-known proverb says, and indeed, by the eyes of a person you can learn a lot about who you are dealing with. With the help of the eyes, a person transmits many unconscious signals by which one can understand whether he is lying or telling the truth, angry or, conversely, is in a good mood. Looking to the right, left, up, or down may indicate certain thought processes occurring in his head, while the person himself usually does not pay attention to where his gaze is directed, everything happens automatically. Once you learn to read body language from your eyes, you will begin to see a person literally through and through - with the help of words, you can easily mislead about your intentions, but making your eyes tell a lie is much more difficult. Body language is probably the most truthful source of information about a person, but the first thing you should pay attention to is the look. In this article, we'll look at a few common non-verbal cues conveyed by a person's gaze and eyes.

Reading body language, gaze and other eye signals:

Much can be read by the eyes of a person, much simply cannot be hidden from sight, however, to understand what exactly a person feels and thinks, it is not enough to be able to read by the eyes. It is necessary to look at the context in which certain body signals appear, and it is necessary to look at and consider many other body language signals, including gestures, facial expressions, body position and breathing rate. In the following articles, we will try to make out as many body language signals as possible so that you can build a more accurate picture of the people with whom you have to communicate. I wish you success!

Why doesn't a person look in the eyes? There is a widespread belief that he is telling a lie and deliberately hiding his gaze so as not to betray his real intentions. This may well be true, but there are a number of other reasons why the interlocutor deliberately avoids eye contact. A person may not look in the eyes due to the peculiarities of his character, temperament, lack of courage, or self-doubt. The qualities that shape the personality in each of us are expressed in different ways, and this affects how sociable a person is and how he behaves during a conversation.

A person does not look into the eyes when talking - the main reasons

Banal shyness

This fact is confirmed scientific research... A person knows that a gaze can betray feelings, so he deliberately diverts it. Many lovers try to hide their heightened interest, because they are afraid to openly declare their feelings or are waiting for the right moment. If at the same time your interlocutor in addition blushes and begins to say some nonsense, then love is evident here!

Self-doubt

It is difficult for such people to communicate with others, because they constantly worry about what they think of them. An insecure person rarely looks in the eyes, and often does it on the sly, because he is very concerned about his emotional distress and thinks about how best to behave when talking.

Heavy unpleasant look of the interlocutor

Such people are often called energy vampires, who seem to deliberately "bore" their gaze, wanting to suppress and show their superiority. The heavy, gaze of the opponent seems to penetrate the interlocutor, cause discomfort and cause unpleasant emotions. In these cases, eye contact is very difficult, so many try to avoid it, for example, lowering their eyes to the floor.

Irritation

Some people can get tired of trying to make close eye contact on the part of the interlocutors, they think that they are trying to catch them in something bad and experience unpleasant emotions and irritation about this.

What the interlocutor says does not arouse interest at all

If the detached indifferent look is combined with yawning, and the one with whom you are talking often glances at the clock, then it is worth stopping this dialogue as soon as possible, since it is ineffective. In this case, the meaning of verbal and non-verbal information exchange is absent.

Intense information flow

In a few seconds of close visual contact, you can get a very large amount of information, which is equivalent to hours of frank communication. Therefore, even in a confidential conversation, friends sometimes look away in order to get distracted and digest the information received.

Why does a person close their eyes when talking?

A squinted gaze means precise concentration of attention on a specific object. A narrowed, tense look can indicate an increased tendency to criticism and ill will, as well as betray the callousness of the person. Half-closed eyelids of the interlocutor during a conversation indicate his overestimated self-esteem, arrogance, arrogance, and complete inertia to the events taking place.

If the interlocutor closes his eyes without much tension, without closing them, it means that he is trying to abstract from external events. This self-isolation helps you focus well on pondering a task, reflect on upcoming events, and enjoy sensual visuals.

Considering the situation in complex, it is quite possible to understand why a person hides his eyes when talking.

Some people ask why a person does not make eye contact when talking. Sometimes there can be several reasons for this, the reception is completely different. Therefore, it is impossible to say that a person is lying or hiding something.

Reasons why a person does not look in the eyes

• Shyness or self-doubt;
• If he wants to hide something, such as affection or love;
• The insincerity of his feelings. On the contrary, he can hide something, that he is married, married or other acts;
• Heavy look. People who are very domineering have an incredibly heavy gaze that penetrates, and is unpleasant to others. Cold, as if empty embittered eyes, not everyone will like;
• Does not want to give information about himself, is used to avoiding an answer, often lies;
• No interest in the interlocutor, fatigue.

Other reasons:

When there's just nothing to say

Staring at close range imposes some obligations, for example, to answer honestly to a question that has not yet been answered. I don’t want to lie, but we cannot tell the truth either. That is why a person hides his gaze and avoids answering. There can be a lot of reasons. And not always an open "honest" supposed look says that a person is not lying. They just perfectly withstand the gaze at close range. Such people are accustomed, and their gaze is quite trained.

If shy and vulnerable

You should not pay special attention to this fact. Not everyone likes to be in a close environment, many are annoyed by the crowd, views from all sides. If one is confident in himself, then the other may be in constant confusion. Therefore, you should not judge by the look and assume that since a person does not look in the eyes, it means that he is lying, in love, or wants to deceive. Maybe he is just not confident in himself or does not want to show his weaknesses. People are different. Upbringing, habits or temperament very often leave their mark.

How to make a person look in the eyes?

If a person does not look into the eyes, then you can try to peek into them furtively. Call for conversation by interesting topic, intrigue, ask a difficult question and see the reaction. Many people open up at this time. You can inspect for his communication with other people. If a person does not make eye contact all the time, it is possible that he has such a character. May be stubborn or hide feelings. He cannot control himself constantly, so sooner or later he will be able to examine him in the eye.

Not all people like to look directly at the other person. For some, a direct look is generally unpleasant. If a person avoids gaze, it doesn’t mean that he is hiding something or not speaking, maybe he just has this style of communication. Most often, shy people, not confident in themselves, avert their eyes. Also, some people do not make eye contact if their parents, leaders are authoritarian, or they have a habit of obeying. It is easier to lower your eyes and tell them “yes” than to withstand the gaze.

Eyes - a versatile lie detector

The eyes are one of the most perfect lie detectors, by the movement of the eyeballs you can determine what a person is thinking at the moment, whether he is telling the truth or lying. People move their eyes in certain directions depending on what type of thinking is involved. Eye observation is one of the simplest techniques for obtaining information about a person's thoughts and emotions.

Studies show that the pupil dilates all the way up to 45% if what we see we like, and vice versa narrows if we don't like it. It is also common for a person to squint his eyes when he experiences negative emotions. These eye reactions last about 1/8 of a second, but if you observe carefully, you will definitely notice them. One of the options for non-verbal cues involving the eyes is blocking the eyes. When a person, in response to visual or auditory information, covers his eyes with his hand, touches his eyelid, or simply closes his eyes for a split second, this indicates negative emotions from the information received. Even your own thoughts can cause such a reaction. It is worth noting that at the moment of stress, blinking of the eyes increases. When a person experiences positive emotions, the eyes will be wide open, the eyebrows will be raised. The enlargement of the eyes is also observed at the moment of surprise. Take a close look at the photos in the site's emotions gallery. Determine which facial muscle groups are involved depending on the emotion.

Decoding of eye movement.

1.- Move the eyes up to the left.

(Image-memory). When we visualize something from our experience: "What color is your car?" and along with the verbal response, you will receive a look upward to the left, typical of visual memories.

"When was the last time you saw this person?"

2. - Defocusing of the eyes.

The eyes are defocused, their position is fixed, the pupil is somewhat dilated. Visuals can be from memory or constructed.

3. - Movement of the eyes up to the right.

Constructed image. Visual representation of images, phenomena or objects that we have not seen before, or the representation of phenomena and objects not as we saw them before. "What will a cow look like?"

Auditory recollection of those sounds that we have heard before. “How does your favorite song sound? "

Auditory construction. Auditory representation of sounds we have never heard before. "What does your dream song sound like?" "How would your phone sound if you covered it with your hand?"

6. Move the eyes down to the left.

Internal conversation. This direction of the eyes also coincides with the function of speech control, when a person chooses the words that he wants to pronounce. This direction of gaze can often be seen on the translator during interpretation, on the student's diploma for the person giving the interview.

7. - Eyes down to the right.

Feeling emotion tactile sensations, sense of movement, smell. "How do you feel when you feel anger?" “How do you feel when you play sports? "Remember how a burn bakes?" An important point in the fact that it is impossible to construct sensations - we cannot imagine those feelings that we did not experience in reality.

There is a typical pattern of eyeball movements called "Lie detector": direction of gaze from the visual structure (right upward, right horizontally) to speech control (left downward); in inner experience it corresponds to such a sequence - first to imagine, to construct, how it could be, and then to say only what corresponds to it, nothing superfluous.

And now a couple of examples from life.

During the interrogation, the investigator asks the woman a question: What kind of relationship did you have with citizen "K"?

Answer: We were friends ”- and looks down to the right. She goes into kinesthetic (sensory memories). Judging by the reaction of the eyes, namely the memories of sensations, we can conclude that the woman told a lie.

A similar situation: The husband returns from vacation, the wife asks: How did you rest? The husband replies: It was boring and looks down to the right. He goes into kinesthetic (sensory memories). It is too early to draw conclusions about lies, but we can say that he has something to remember.

Question: What happened at your meeting?

Answer: Nothing special, we talked and said goodbye. The eyes go to the left - up, while the pupils are narrowed. There really was a meeting, but he evokes memories more negative emotions... It can be assumed that there was a quarrel at the meeting.