From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words in order to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we resort to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful, the whole world smiles back at you.

Every day we hear a lot of short funny phrases, but not all of them stay on the ear, and even less are remembered. The origin of the funny phrase is forgotten, but the meaning remains, especially if the phrase is funny.

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smile, without humor and fun. We offer our selection of cool expressions and phrases for free, and let no one be left without a smile! Use every minute in your life!

Usually it is funny funny phrases that unite companies. Short funny phrases with meaning most fully reflect the good mood of people in society, have a positive effect on the worldview, and help determine a community of interests. And it doesn't matter at all whether new funny phrases about love are lines from a book, a chorus from a song, lines from a movie or a cartoon.

Short funny expressions and funny phrases will be appreciated by cheerful people with a good sense of humor. On our site, we decided to please you with our cool phrases and expressions.

Short funny phrases will help cheer your friends

The main point of funny phrases is that they describe exciting moments in the lives of many people in a humorous form. Funny phrases about life will help to cheer friends during a friendly feast. Cool phrases and aphorisms can cheer you up in a difficult and difficult period.

There are many cool phrases and aphorisms. Funny phrases and sayings are excerpts that are taken from works of art, modern films or cartoons.

Mostly funny expressions about life are taken not from books, but from TV and the Internet. Many cool expressions and phrases are full of meaning. The coolest expressions are various puns, or taken to the point of absurdity. Odessa humor is very multifaceted and many cool expressions become classics.

These cool expressions never get old and always remain relevant. For example, a lot of cool expressions are taken from the lines of fiction. Many well-known cool expressions with meaning are taken from the classics of world cinema, which are so pleasant to remember for the older generation.

Free funny expressions and funny sayings

Funny funny expressions about love will help to amaze your companion or companion with wit. Cool words and expressions will also come in handy if you need to correct an awkward situation or oversight. The most relevant are funny sayings and expressions in the company of friends.

Meet your friends, enjoy life with our cool aphorisms and expressions, and enjoy your thoughts and those of your friends.

There are many short funny phrases and expressions. But we have selected for you only the coolest, which in our opinion deserve the most attention. Our selection of the coolest phrases and expressions for people who like to have fun and make other people laugh. We invite you to read our free funny phrases and expressions to raise your mood.

Funny expressions and funny phrases to raise your mood

• People want a good life, but they are always happy with it.
• Money is never as good as it is bad without it.
• Found my place in life, but it's taken ...
• If you did everything right, it doesn’t mean that you will be fine.
• Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night and they don't understand you.
• The finance minister sincerely believed that money is not about happiness.
• Study, study and study again, because you still won't find a job!
• They lived happily ever after until they found out that others were living longer and happier.
• Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
• Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and dying healthy is a pity.
• Very often you learn about the best moments of your life from eyewitnesses.
• They learn from mistakes, and after mistakes they are treated.
• Army Canapes Recipe: Simply put a slice of bread on top of another slice of bread.
• Money comes and goes and goes and goes ...
• As soon as you find your soul mate, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
• Not everyone who has entered the world manages to remain human.
• I clicked with the mouse ...
• Classics are the kind of literature that people prefer to praise rather than read.
• When a person begins to consider himself smarter, he stops getting smarter.
• When appointing a martyr, the applicant's consent is not required.
• They don't believe in rheumatism and love until the first attack.
• This world is strange, where two people look at the same thing, but see the exact opposite.
• We would care less about what others think of us if we knew how little they think of us at all.
• Only after knowing the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray.
• Do not impose your happiness on me, I have mine!
• What would you wish for so that you would not be jealous later?
• It's good that you are taken for their own. It's bad that in the pigsty.
• Sometimes you do not want to toil the foolishness at all, but will you refuse her?
• An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician should remember that reincarnation is, in principle, impossible.
• Human rights end where the stronger person's rights begin.
• In the life of a real programmer, there are only two females: Asya and Klava. Well, not counting the mother.
• I do not regret the past, I am sad about the future that died in it.
• Do you want sweet dreams? - Fall asleep in the cake!
• If you've been harnessed, then don't wait for the carrot.
• What roof doesn't like driving fast?
• Is a hero the one who tyrit the rich?
• The quality of a miracle is easy to determine: even eyewitnesses do not believe in a real miracle.
• When you start to delve into the essence of any sale, you remember that in Russian the words "discount" and "throw" are the same roots.
• Previously, court jesters rang bells, but now they use special signals.
• If sports were as useful as we are told about it, then five Jews would hang on each horizontal bar.
• If you see only good in everything, then nothing can be changed for the better.
• All men are the same, only their salaries are different.
• If a woman tries to maintain her virginity before marriage, she has a lot of chances to keep it until she retires.
• He knew how to do everything ... True, he didn’t succeed.
• Everything would be fine, but this is nothing - too much.
• Became a vegetarian - switched to grass ..
• If they constantly laugh at you, it means that you bring joy to people.
• Each person has exactly as much vanity as he lacks intelligence.
• Much has changed in Russia in five years, almost nothing in two hundred years.
• Attractive women are distracting.
• Forecasters, like sappers, are wrong only once.
• But every day.
• What is May Day?
• God, I'm a cow.
• Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is a sneak.
• Caught a mouse - eat slowly.
• Smell under the arm - change the rug.
• Are you flying in a dream? Sleep at home.
• If it weren't for my legs, I wouldn't be here.
• The top of freedom is round dances.
• Don't dance, I'll get more.
• If everything is beautiful in a person, it means that this is not our person!
• Baldness is the process of replacing brushing with washing.
• Today we drink dry wine! Pour it in!
• Ideal marriage: she plays the first violin, and he plays the drum (E. Kashcheev)
• If money is not encouraging, then it is not yours.
• In Russia, the people have not yet said their word, but it is already written on the fence ...
• A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
• Each pioneer must hand over 15 kg of waste paper to the state and two who have not.
• Until he served he slept peacefully, he knew that he was being guarded. During the service, he slept poorly, guarded. After the service I don't sleep at all ... I know who is guarding
• It is indecent to appear at an organized drinking party in person, unorganized, drunk!
• The slower the train goes, the wider the expanses of our Motherland.
• Books have never emitted so much light as in the fires of the Inquisition.
• If it were not for sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
• Scientists have found that the most understandable language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
• Small is large well-nibbled.
• Physics has been abolished in Estonian schools so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
• Be sure to write aphorisms - they will facilitate the work of your psychotherapist ...
• Our monastery asked the Holy Synod if it was possible to pray while smoking, and we were told - it is possible! Since then, our monks smoke during prayer ...
• The man is a self-guided system.
• Only until the end of the month! Everyone who buys a satellite dish gets a satellite spoon and a satellite plug as a gift!

What a pity you finally leave.

A bad person is one who does not love me, a good one.

Move the tomatoes - go faster.

Eating too much is harmful, and eating too little is boring.

Who gets up early, he gets everyone.

Ugly women are always jealous of their husbands; beautiful - not before, they are jealous of strangers.

A real intellectual will never say - "as she was a fool, she remained so," he will say - "time has no power over her."

You need to rejoice today, otherwise tomorrow will be even better.

He buried his ax of war somewhere on Mira Avenue ...

How many of us, brainless sages!

Such horrors were shown in the mirror this morning.

Not to be able, not to be able, to theorize - I can, I can, I practice.

The end of the world was canceled because of people like you.

We had a Schrödinger relationship with her.

Don't leave the bar, don't make a mistake.

Nothing invigorates in the morning like an unnoticed doorframe.

Left with a nose, I became completely unbearable!

Life is beautiful if you do not remember the past and do not think about the future.

Goose also thought he was bathing until the water boiled ...

A miracle on a silver platter.

Hate is negatively charged love.

Erysipelas in clay, branches in the bottom, so I came from reconnaissance!

Keep it simple and microbiologists will reach out to you.

There is never too much empty space!

Yes, so that you dream about Bilan on skates!

Having broken the spear about the foolishness of the opponent ...

I'm not as stupid as you look.

If you want to lose weight, go to the students.

It's all over: you have to turn around!

Life was imaginary.

I get the impression that apart from impressions, I have nothing to add up.

Do not go into someone else's network with your own protocol!

I am not treating my schizophrenia. It doesn't hurt me.

Today I may not be able to.

Modern Youth Week: Slacker, Repeat (repeat of the slacker), Delirium, Quarter, Nursery, Clubbbot, Hangover.

Don't think anything bad, but I don't care what you think of me.

If there is tea on the table, then you must definitely drink it.

If you don't shut up now, you will smile with your gums.

If beautiful and smart do not exist at the same time, does it mean I do not exist?

Never forget about your sclerosis.

Nerves gave me up.

Of all the money, I like paper money the most.

Between two beautiful roses - a nasty fly agaric grew.

The meaning of life lay on the couch.

I woke up, setting off a series of horrific events.

How can you love your neighbor if he resists?

Oh sorry. It seems that the middle of my sentence interrupts the beginning of yours.

I sit in the bathtub fishing. sometimes the doctor comes in ...

What are you on the doorstep? Don't hesitate, go fuck it!

Today I am in good health.

How to distinguish a real law degree from a fake one when buying?

Eh, that used to be the time! How do you remember! Fifteen minutes past one, for example.

We are not fish - fish are mute.

You don't sleep all day, don't eat all night - of course, you get tired.

It all happened by accident, although it was planned.

I wanted to leave, but then they poured again.

Strange, today is Monday, but not at all happy.

Comrade in misfortune will not advise bad!

A new statue will be erected in Holland - a giggling boy peeing on a pissing boy.

There are no modest people. Some people just have nothing to brag about.

The thought that someday I will have to stop doing bullshit is terrifying.

If a friend is in trouble, I'll circle the other with chalk.

Throughout his life, Pushkin teaches us that a talented person must first learn to shoot.

I didn't even have you in my mind.

Obeying a primal instinct, like a real hunter, for dinner I caught, skinned, cooked and ate celery.

I am a rather secretive person. And it's not your dog's business why.

The computer does not obey the laws of physics. Only in it glitches arise out of nothing, files disappear into nowhere, and the volume is measured in meters and is called weight.

Being is in vain, so you get mad.

95% of people are idiots. We work for the remaining 15%.

If you are happy for more than one day, it means that they are hiding something from you!

Angry with your neighbor? Buy his child a drum.

Never mind, take it in your mouth - it's easier to spit it out!

Have you lost the list of whom you need to fear? Remind you?

Life is a continuous struggle: from morning to lunch - with hunger, well, in the afternoon with sleep.

Your thoughts are so brilliant that the orderlies have already arrived!

Well, let's return to our sheep ... and lead the flock.

A century would look at you - through a telescopic sight.

Smart thoughts haunt me all the time, but I'm faster than them!

My body wants me to live a healthy life, but I'm not going to listen to the advice of an alcoholic.

I've had a tough day for the past six months.

And then we went to the registry office and informed the state that we were sleeping together ...

For the sake of hugs, I even agree to a preliminary bitch.

I will give everything, but where can I get it?

It is better to give and indulge than not to give and regret!

It's never too late to take a bath with a hairdryer.

I like tomatoes, but not enough to eat them.

Today pilaf is without meat. And no rice.

Three can only keep a secret if two of them are dead.

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. Therefore, from time to time, each of us needs to move away from everyday worries, relax and have at least a little fun. Funny phrases and funny sayings are a sure wonderful way to quickly raise a good mood. Funny phrases and statuses are very popular because they describe the exciting moments of many people's lives in a humorous way. They will help you to amaze your interlocutors with wit, as well as to amuse your friends, colleagues, a bored company or guests at a holiday party. Funny expressions can also come in handy to "defuse" a tense situation or in awkward situations when you need to correct your mistake.
There are many great funny phrases and expressions. I tried to select the best, coolest "phrases" that, in my opinion, deserve the most attention. Read, and let no one be left without a smile!

• My character, of course, is not sugar, but I was not created to add me to tea either!
• If I ever die because of a man, it’s just out of laughter.
• I am neither good nor bad. I am kind in an evil stripe!
• I only have one life and I cannot afford to be unhappy!
• I thought I was special, but it turned out to be the best ...
• It's not enough to know your own worth - you still need to be in demand.
• What is, you can't put it back !!!
• So what if the wind is in my head, but my thoughts are always fresh ...
• Where have you seen a cat that cares what the mice say about it?
• If you spit in my back, then I am ahead of you!
• Don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you where to go!
• If you want me to be an angel - organize paradise for me!
• My life my rules. If you don't like my rules, don't meddle in my life.
• Not seen in vicious relationships ... Wasn't it? No ... Not noticed!
• You need to live so that others have depression!
• When will they learn to conduct light into women's handbags ?! Really needed!!!
• We are strong women: we will take out the trash, and the brain, if necessary!
• Losing weight on three diets! (I am not full of two ...)
• He eats - I cook, he wears - I wash, he scatters - I clean. And what would I do without him ...
• Women's folk amusement: she thought it up herself, she was offended herself.
• I am like champagne: I can be playful, or I can give it to my head ...
• So I want to be a weak woman, but, as luck would have it, the horses are galloping, the huts are burning ...
• Sometimes my husband shakes me ... After all, I am an amazing woman !!!
• The girls are standing, standing on the sidelines, handkerchiefs in their hands fiddling with ... Because for ten girls, according to statistics: 1 gay, 4 alcoholics, 2 divorced, 2 drug addicts and 1 normal, but he is married ...
• How is fake love different from real love? Fake: "I love the snowflakes in your hair!" Real: "Fool, why no hat?"
• If a woman has sparks in her eyes, then the cockroaches in her head are celebrating something.
• - How to bring a girl to madness?
  - Give her a lot of money and close all the shops!
• Men, let’s wash, clean, cook, iron…. And we want you!
• So you want to snuggle up to someone, bring your lips to your ear and whisper ...: "Give me money!"
• Sometimes I open the closet, look into it for a long time and realize that I keep two-thirds of my clothes in case I go crazy.
• Classic women's wardrobe: Nothing to wear. There is nowhere to hang. It's a pity to throw it out ... And there is also a department "Suddenly I'll lose weight" ...
• You need to smile so broadly that the problems stumble over the smile!
• An optimist is a person who, even having fallen on his face in the mud, is sure that it is curative!
• Girls, who wanted to lose weight by the spring?
• This morning, while I was painting, I fainted 5 times from my beauty ...
• I used to live alone and all my things were randomly scattered about in their places, but now I am married and all things are neatly and beautifully lying in no one knows where ...
• I want fate to take me by the hair and right in my face - in happiness, in happiness, in happiness.
• A woman should be loved, happy, beautiful! And she owes nothing to anyone else !!!
• The smartest plant is horseradish: he knows everything ...
• Now I live only by this principle: whoever wants to - will come, whoever needs it - will call, whoever misses - will find it! And to whom - in figs, those - in figs!
• All men are bastards! They all need only one thing! But why, why not from me-me-me ?!
• I'd send you, but I see you and so from there!
• Women are not interested in rags only if these rags are men.
• If you think life is great, then the antidepressants are right.
• If there are nails on the feet, then hands should be on the hands, and animals generally have bast shoes!
• There is nothing better in the world than creaking your bed until dawn!
• Judging by the way life fucks me, I'm fucking sexy!
• Robbers demand a wallet or a life, women demand both.
• Never do evil in spite! Nasty things should come from the heart!
• The smarter a woman is, the more sophisticated and varied she makes the brain of her man!
• Any dirty trick can be properly used, if there is a desire ...
• Queens are never upset. When they are sad, they just execute someone ...
• The weaker sex is stronger than the stronger due to the weakness of the stronger sex to the weaker.
• Long live a split personality - the shortest path to peace of mind!
• Spring is late for us, summer is late ... And autumn, you bastard, is punctual!
• I'm a woman - I have evil as standard!
• Do you want to be nice? - We remove the petroleum jelly!
• I am a creative woman. I want - I create, I want - I get up ...
• With a teaspoon in my pocket, with a bald cactus in my hand, I go to scare the old lady who lives in the attic, I will poke him with a spoon, I will order him to sit on the cactus ... I’m a little fool - I have a certificate! ..
• Vasilisa was a wizard ... Waving her right sleeve - the lake ... Waving left - swans ... Waving another 200 grams - and hallucinations are more complicated ...
• Happiness is when you have a doctor, cop, lawyer and killer among your friends. It becomes somehow easier to live right away ...
• There are people like a drug - you know what you can't, but it pulls. And there are people, like cake - sweet, tasty, but sick ...
• I want, like a bear: to gorge on in the summer, and to hibernate in the winter. And she lost weight, and slept, and did not see frost!
• Santa Claus, I behaved well for a whole year ... and now can I beat someone ???
• I caught a goldfish. She listened to me very carefully and said: "Fry!"
• And they carry me away, and carry me away, three white horses, two red elephants, a penguin, a hippopotamus and a deer in a colored ringing crap.
• That which does not kill us then regrets it very much.
• I am the air. Don't try to hold back. Breathe while I let myself breathe ...
• My beloved said to me: "You are evil in the flesh!" Well, I will. I'm very obedient. And if for some reason he needs it, then how can I pass by the request!
• I am a very good cook ... I can add noodles ... Make porridge ... Add oil ... In general, she is a clever wizard.
• "I love you sweetheart!" - great status! And all the suns are pleased, and you will not sleep ...
• - You must treat a girl carefully, like a Christmas tree.
  - Cut it out and take it home?
• - Strangers make comments to my child! How to react?
  - Teach the child the magic spell: "Mom teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier." Pronounced with clear diction and confidently benevolent intonation, it acts similarly to the spell: "Petrify!" Moreover, it is more reliable. Although not for long. But also without dangerous side effects.
• You begin to understand that everything is really bad when a person who usually calms everyone down is crying ...
• As my grandmother used to say, it is better to shoot, reload and shoot again than to shine a flashlight and ask "who is here?"
• In any situation, say "everything is going according to plan" - you never know what a fucking plan you have.
• Sometimes it becomes so cool that something that was once so important has become so important ...
• And I will leave without noticing the insults.
  Chewing chocolate candy.
  And let the evil horse love you,
  And not such a sun as me.
• - Honey, is it true that I am the only one with you?
  - What do you mean today, everything conspired, or what !?
• A woman, like fire, cannot be left unattended. Or it will go out, or it will burn everything to hell !!!
• Alcohol does not help to find the answer, it helps to forget the question….
• Honey, you insist so much on our relationship with you ... I don’t understand, do you have a nervous system made of reinforced concrete or a lifetime reservation in an insane asylum?
• Sometimes you think: this is it, happiness! But no, f * ck, experience again ...
• Here you drown a person, and it seems so sad, but then bubbles appear, so good, and the heart rejoices.
• It is easy to understand female logic, it is enough to learn how to play billiards with cubes.
• You need to find out the relationship only with those with whom you have this relationship. The rest - on figs on the shore of silence, collect shells ...
• Happiness is when the previous fuck is over and the next one hasn't started yet.
• Cockroaches in the head are still normal. The problem is when a squirrel starts to drive them out ...
• A black cat running across your path means that the animal is going somewhere. Don't complicate! ..
• You need to return to the woman as quickly as possible. So quickly that she does not have time to understand that she is good without you.
• If you love, let it go. Will not return - track and kill.
• There are many other people's nerves in the world - there is no need to wag your own!
• I bought a crayon for cockroaches! Now in my head it is quiet and calm ... they sit, draw ...
• You’ll send someone in the heat of the moment. But in your heart you are worried: did you get there? ... did not get there? ...
• - Who are you?
  - Kind fairy!
  - Why with an ax?
  - Yes, the mood is not very good ...
• I got up on the wrong foot, sat on the wrong broom and flew in the wrong direction ...
• Give me wings, or the broomstick's whole ass in splinters!
• In general, I love raspberry pies. They, of course, do not reciprocate, but they do not behave like bastards!
• - What will you order?
  - I, please, nerves, intelligence, calmness and * zma ... Yes, more * zma, please.
• Don't be a miser - give the person a second chance. Don't be an idiot - never give a third.
• Nerves in shock, brains in a trance, but logic went and shot itself.
• If my mother taught me to be cultured, this does not mean that I will not kick in the eye, as my father taught me!
• A realist is someone who doesn't care if a glass is half full or half empty. For him, what's in the glass is more important.
• Whatever the rake teaches, but the heart believes in miracles ...
• It's amazing how some people enjoy romantic rake walks.
• If you constantly step on the same rake, then this is a fucking rake!
• Smile more often - and the thicket will smile at you!
• Yes, I'm not an angel, but fly faster on a broomstick.
• Everyone thinks that the dream of any girl is to find the perfect partner. No matter how it is! Our dream is to eat and not get better!
• All women are angels, but if their wings are cut off, they begin to fly on a broomstick.
• A man should be able to do two things: set fire to huts and scare horses so that his woman has something to do, and not take out his brains.
• ... and yet it is IMPORTANT that the butterflies in the stomach agree with the cockroaches in the head!
• Yesterday, it seemed, I got a little wisdom ... Today I woke up - but no, I just plucked ...
• I don’t promise to bring you to sin, but I do it ...
• There is no need to offend me, I am a vulnerable girl, almost immediately into tears ... And then, with tear-stained eyes, it is so difficult to understand who I hit with a shovel ...
• Such horrors were shown on the mirror this morning ...
• I don’t drink flowers and sweets!
• - Girl, why don't we know each other yet?
  - God protects you, stupid creature ...
• I am not overweight. I have it as a spare.
• Woman philologist: bright multiple sarcasms on the first date.
• While men, as boys, play war games and cars, women, as girls, immediately prepare to manipulate people and play with dolls.
• It is better to be loved by a mischievous person than unnecessary perfection to anyone.
• Listen to the voice of reason ... Do you hear? Hear what the hell he's talking about ?!
• In order for a woman to go to bed with a man, she needs a sense of closeness, trust and a strong bond. For a man - mainly - a place ...
• Squirrels eat snow. What are you doing to make winter end?
• People who helped spring and ate snow, why did you also gobble up the asphalt?
• The glassblower accidentally sneezed at work and created a new vase for the Ikea store.
• If things don't go the way you want them to - these are not yours, let them pass by.
• Can't relieve stress? Do not wear !!!
• It is wrong to say “the toad is choking”. It should be like this: "amphibiotropic asphyxia happened to me"
• Macaque koala dipped in cocoa. Koala lapped cocoa lazily ...
• Squirrels in gaiters in the depths of the tundra are tying cedar kernels. In the depths of the tundra, otters in gaiters are poking cedar kernels in buckets! Having ripped out the gaiters from the otter in the tundra, wiped the cedar kernels by the otter, wipe the otter's face with the gaiter - the kernels in buckets, the otter in the tundra.
• After washing leggings in the swamp, laying the kernels in buckets, otters with squirrels in an embrace quietly finish drinking a jar ... Finishing the moonshine, the otters danced a jig, the squirrels tried on leggings, muttering that they had seen a holiday in the tundra even worse.
• I speak English with a dictionary, while I am shy with people ...
• Crawling under the table, do not forget to politely say goodbye to the guests.
• A genius sleeps in each of us. And every day it gets stronger and stronger ...
• I do not know what you are taking from your head, but it clearly does not help you!
• Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt…
• A beautiful woman pleases a man's gaze, an ugly woman pleases a woman's!
• There are no perpetual motion machines in the world, but it is full of perpetual brakes!
• Take care of your homeland! Relax abroad!
• I am constantly haunted by smart thoughts, but I find myself faster ...
• Everyone is spoiled to the best of their ability.
• If a gentleman says to a lady “I understand you perfectly,” he means “You say twice as much as you need to”!
• If you leave your husband right, he will definitely come back ... like a boomerang.
• If you want to bring a person to sclerosis, give him a loan.
• Looking at how some accumulate good, others begin to accumulate evil.
• There are so many interesting things in this life and so few people interested.
• If you want to marry a smart, beautiful and rich - marry three times.
• Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
• If you cannot be a star in the sky, at least become a lamp in the house.
• A man, if he could understand what a woman thinks, would still not believe.
• The best way to organize a panic is to ask everyone to stay calm.
• Everyone wants to have a good time, but you can't.
• Tell me I'm wrong and I'll tell you who you are.
• What a pity that you finally leave! ..
• Lost conscience. I ask the finder not to worry and leave it to yourself.

Why are cool expressions and phrases useful? For any occasion in life, some people always have jokes, jokes, sayings that are capable of others. A witty, ironic, cheerful person can endure adversity more easily and will not go into his pocket for a word.

Reality sometimes brings not the most pleasant surprises. Overload in the workplace, stressful situations in your own home, lack of confidence in friends, work colleagues, and in the future as a whole often leads to a breakdown. It’s not worth saying that in my heart at such moments - just the cats scratching. What can you do in these turbulent times?

What can help relieve stress?

Many people, having found themselves victims of unexpected pressure, try to look for, if not oblivion, then recharge, in the regular use of various stimulants. Moreover, some of them begin to support themselves with relatively safe energy drinks, and end their lives as avid drug addicts.

Even all of us, our favorite tea is among these energy drinks. It is known that tea can lift your mood for no apparent reason. Over time, however, this can lead to true chemical dependence. Therefore, it is much better to relieve stress by remembering and using cool expressions for any occasion.

Will humor and gags help me cope with stress?

Appropriate jokes and gags can improve mood and relieve stress without any additional chemical doping. It is for this reason that the article is devoted to funny expressions that are applicable in a variety of life situations. .

Having familiarized yourself with it, you will not only improve your mood here and now. By memorizing some of these expressions, you can cheer yourself up whenever the need arises. Moreover, such a beneficial effect will have practically no side effects.

The main thing here is not to overdo it, communicating with people who do not understand humor. After all, some may condemn even the most innocent joke, and light sarcasm for them is like a personal insult!

When can funny expressions about life be used in speech?

If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. This is the upbringing of positive character traits that make it easier to go through life, quickly find new friends and help old ones. Cool expressions filled with subtle humor will help defuse the situation in almost any situation. They can be applied both when something went wrong and when the heart is overflowing with joy. The most important thing is that the interlocutor is on the same emotional wavelength with you. If this condition is met, neither you nor your listeners will be bored.

Examples of the coolest expressions about family life

In this block you will find the most famous funny expressions that can be used in the process of communicating with family members. It is especially recommended to study this block for the male half: do not forget that women love witty ones. We present our TOP-10:

1. Marital ties are difficult, so they are usually carried by two, and sometimes by three.
2. Lover from his first marriage.
3. The naivete of the woman: even watching porn films, she hopes that the sex will end in a wedding.
4. Declaration of love is like a signal of the exact time. It is only true at the moment of being pronounced.
5. My trembling half.
6. You and I are one blood - you are Chuk, I am Huck.
7. When it is raining and melancholy outside, nag your husband - create an atmosphere of comfort.
8. It is better to be jealous of a woman for a stove than for a computer.
9. My children are worried about where everything came from, me - where did everything go.
10. Happiness is when the desired moments coincide with the inevitable.
11. A strong marriage is a humble husband and wife who treats him like a king.

Funny expressions on vacation

To fill the rest with smiles and fun, you can use almost any joke and gags. The most appropriate of these would be cool expressions from the movies. If those do not come to mind, remember something from the following TOP:

1. One drop of nicotine will kill a horse, three hundred - will be able to defeat
2. A quickly drunk glass cannot be considered poured.
3. Today you don’t drink with us, but tomorrow you’ll betray your Motherland.
4. Eat, gorge on, dear guests. If you have completely lost your conscience, then you can come back tomorrow.
5. Smart people are nice to talk to, but difficult to work with.
6. My life is passing away so quickly, as if she is no longer interested in me.
7. There are no ugly women - there are underfunded.
8. To make a woman happy, let her sometimes do nothing.
9. A person who values ​​life will not distort it with dirty thoughts.
10. A monogamous person will make only one person unhappy.

and phrases appropriate in the queue to see a doctor

Do you have to go to the doctor again? Do not despair! Our coolest expressions, presented in the following TOP, can make a visit to the doctor easy and fun:

1. Go to the website of the dental clinic - www.zubov.net.
2. One head is good, but the torso will come in handy.
3. The patient refused to open an autopsy, so the doctor was forced to treat him.
4. The doctor cannot prolong life, therefore he prolongs the disease.
5. The doctor asks the patient with a knife in his back: - Does it hurt a lot? - No, it is unpleasant only when I laugh.
6. Medicines are so expensive that as long as you make money on them, time will heal.
7. New version of the Hippocratic Oath: only upon presentation of an insurance policy ...
8. This is what our Predictamus suffered.
9. The more free the medicine is, the more expensive the medicine is.
10. It was a beautiful leg ... Give the second!

Funny expressions used during an argument

Of course, quarrels are not the most pleasant thing. But even they can be made less painful if you learn to “send” people you dislike more or less beautifully. Next is the next TOP, in which you will find expressions with meaning, funny insults to cultural people:

1. How much will the principles be on your exchange today?
2. Of course, everyone wants to be honest ... But you want to be rich more.
3. Yes, it's time to weed your head.
4. Grunting is a new sign of consent!
5. There are simply no unbearable people, there are only narrow doors.
6. Who made such a face for you?
7. Let it be rubbish. But take as much as you want!
8. I noticed in the face of your alarm clock that you are getting ready to ring again.
9. It is not necessary to stage thoughts here.
10. And reluctance to live, and laziness to shoot yourself.

Cool expressions about gray everyday life

Cool expressions about life are an opportunity to paint the gray everyday life. Do you want to see for yourself? Read the following TOP:

1. Soon they will start jailing all the malicious defaulters of bribes.
2. Don't smile at me like a tax inspector.
3. I have more and more prophetic nightmares.
4. For complete happiness, I want to survive.
5. The 112 service received another call. The rescuers were upset, but decided not to pick up the phone.
6. If a bald head is a path trampled by thoughts, then I am the most thinking person!
7. Even someone hates the New Year. Well, for example, Christmas trees.
8. To eat so much, you have to refresh yourself.
9. If you are always surrounded by fools, then you are the most important of them.
10. I'd rather be covered in sweat seven times than frost once.

Funny expressions used instead of insults

There are people to whom you explain at least 1000 times, repeat - everything is useless! However, even in this case, one should not despair and be sad. After all, cool expressions for communicating with an unpleasant interlocutor can come up in slippery situations. Communication with "especially gifted" people is no exception. To find out how, nevertheless, to point out to such people the whole stupidity of their position, remember a few expressions from the following TOP:

1. Sewerage is the only thing that can unite us with you.
2. I look you are smart! I see that the skull is too tight. I can fix it.
3. Smile wider, the boss needs more idiots.
4. Don't make me nervous! I already have nowhere to hide the corpses!
5. There is only one hero. When there are many heroes, they are called hooligans.
6. I see that soon someone will get off with a slight fright.
7. You won't have to wait long for a warning shot to the head.
8. Careful, take care, don't let your brain think.
9. If I get up, I'm afraid a nuclear war will ruin such a beautiful day for you.
10. More and more often I feel an irresistible desire to obscenely admire your behavior.

Cool expressions to help you admit your mistake

Oddly enough, funny ones can smooth out the situation when you don't feel like laughing at all. One such situation is having to admit your own mistakes. To find out what can be said in such an inconvenient case, check out the next TOP:

1. The source of my wisdom is my experience. The source of my experience is my stupidity.
2. There are people who are not wrong, which means that they are simply afraid to act.
3. Our delusions will die before us, so there is no need to make a mummy out of them.
4. Experience is the kind of thing that you get instead of what you wanted.
5. Experience is such a thing that appears immediately after it was needed.
6. I will not try to have time to explain something in the intervals between slaps in the face. And it will turn out indistinctly, and you will have to repeat it.
7. Why commit the sin of discouragement over mistakes when there are more pleasant sins all around!
8. Today I am quieter than water and funnier than grass.
9. And yet I did not manage to break all the decorum today.
10. The wisdom is not in not making mistakes, but in not repeating them again.

Descriptions of news and other recent events

Watching the news today can be just as stressful as talking to an angry boss. Our final TOP "Funny catchphrases about modern life" will provide you with invaluable help in detente:

1. On election day, the people voted.
2. Also say that Lenin was a skinhead!
3. The main thing is to win. After all, the winners will not be jailed.
4. Walking at night is the easiest way to commit suicide.
5. Debauchery is any sex in which you are not involved.
6. The longer I think, the more I am convinced that Eve not only ate the forbidden apple, but also made a fashionable bag out of poor Snake.
7. If I fly in an airplane, I will choose a seat in front. When the plane crashes, the beer cart will pass beside me again! At least I'll get drunk before I die.
8. It looks like steaks with blood of the second group will soon become the most common dish.
9. Driver, beware of places where children may suddenly jump out!
10. Psychoanalysis is the brain's efforts to obtain pleasure intended for another organ.

A little more about the benefits and expressions in everyday life

If an article on the topic "Cool Expressions for Any Occasion" encourages anyone not to resort to various chemical doping just to cope with the negative effects of stress, then it is not written in vain.

Of course, constant stress is not a pleasant thing, but you can and should learn to cope with it without medication. Is it difficult? Not really. It will be difficult only at the very beginning. Especially these difficulties can affect those who have already become addicted to some chemicals.

If we are talking about drug addiction or advanced alcoholism, in order to overcome addiction, most likely, you will have to consult a narcologist.

However, most of the readers do not belong to this population group. This means you can train your own mind to successfully resist stress. To achieve this goal without serious difficulty, you need to learn how to switch from what is upsetting to the opposite moments during the time. In a very short time, you will notice that achieving this goal is not difficult at all. The main thing here is not to let yourself be turned on!

After all, if someone from your environment behaves rudely, this is his, not your problem. Why waste your energy on other people's problems? And even if you were wrong: what will hassle and bitter tears give? Isn't it better to just draw the right conclusions and not repeat past missteps and mistakes?

The media will rain down a storm of negative news on us in an endless stream. And what does it give? Will there be fewer wars? Will planes stop crashing? Will all drivers and pedestrians learn to follow traffic rules? Unfortunately, all these questions can be considered rhetorical. Therefore, after all, you should not worry too much about everything that the media rains down on us. Let's live in harmony with our nervous system. And constant stress has not prolonged anyone's health!

Therefore, the only thing that can really help us is the correct attitude to everything that happens both in the world around us and directly in our life. Any difficulties are easier to endure in a calm mood. And the best helpers in the constant struggle with stress, apathy, depression and constant fear are ourselves. The ability to control your own consciousness, to have cool phrases and expressions in stock is one of the types of positive survival.

Continue to look at your life with a smile, endure difficulties with a cold mind, and notice the positive moments in any situation. And most importantly - stop worrying about trifles! Life loves those who take it easy! And then everything in your life will be just wonderful!