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| Comic phrases. Cool aphorisms, phrases and quotes for all time. Cool expressions to help you admit your mistake |
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It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. Therefore, from time to time, each of us needs to move away from everyday worries, relax and have at least a little fun. Funny phrases and funny sayings are a sure wonderful way to quickly raise a good mood. Funny phrases and statuses are very popular because they describe the exciting moments of many people's lives in a humorous way. They will help you impress your interlocutors with wit, as well as amuse your friends, colleagues, bored company or guests at a holiday party. Funny expressions can also come in handy to "defuse" a tense situation or in awkward situations when you need to correct your mistake.
Loving a person who absolutely gives a fuck ** is my style, yeah ... There are a lot of good people in the world, but I always talk to f ** kers, it's more interesting with them And in a white dress and a veil I go with flowers to the altar and my father shouts after me Anton bl ** do not disgrace the family! Who Said You Need a Justified Cause to Hate? I'm not like that. If the cat flies its ass forward over the fence, it means that it fucked something off the table. Even a billion hearts under your ava won't fix the flaws of nature on your f * ck Briefly about myself - f * ck brains and you f * ck a lot At home they say: "Leave your nerves at work!", At work: "Leave your nerves at home!" F ** k where to leave your nerves? I respect the ocean. He takes lives and doesn't give a fuck. They say that when you get fucked by a person, he begins to understand what he has lost. So let the f * ck rule the world. Everyone will be happy. The hedgehog came out of the fog, the marijuana ran out, he suddenly found hemp, and went into the fog again! And again I step into the bottomless heights, with a huge poster ... "All f ** king." More than 230 witty, caustic, funny, funny, clever phrases, aphorisms and quotes for all occasions. Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from, adults - where does everything go. Appetite and guests come with meals. I want to live forever. So far it turns out. Nobody knows as much as I do .. Women guess everything. They are only wrong when they reason. Woman - it sounds proudly, as well as loud, capricious and stupid. God! I ask you to die! Don't refuse me, Lord, I'm not asking for myself ... Toast: To the beautiful ladies and other mythical characters! How quickly time flies: did not have time to wake up, but was already late for work. A girl as a calculator: adds problems, takes time, multiplies expenses, divides up property !!! The rings on the roof of the wedding car mean that the initial score is 0: 0 A woman is ready to do anything for love, even to make love. A man is ready for anything for the sake of making love, even to love. Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to know if she loves him. And a man can understand whether he loves a woman only after having spent the night with her. A man changes women when he wants to experience a lot, and a woman changes men when she doesn’t experience anything. Even the most beautiful legs grow out of the ass. Did the virus spill coffee on the keyboard? White and fluffy is actually gray and hairy. There are no unbearable people, there are narrow doors. One head is good, but the body is better. Trust people at the word, certified by signature and seal. When I get married, I will give birth to a son, I will call him Kuzey - and I will be Kuz'ka's mother! You should not respond to evil with violence, you cannot even imagine what a raped evil is capable of. Is it okay that I say when you interrupt? Speak - speak, I always yawn when I'm interested. The road to success is always closed for repairs. If you think smoking doesn't affect a woman's voice, try brushing the ashes onto the carpet. If you hesitate for a long time, you can shake everyone .. A woman is kind: she can forgive a man for everything, even if he is not guilty of anything. The woman behind the wheel is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she doesn't. A woman wants everything - from one thing. The man is one of all. The source of our wisdom is our experience. The source of our experience is our stupidity. What a pity you finally leave ... I change the self-assembled tablecloth for a similar sheet. Announcement in the newspaper: Removing, spoiling One fish - another: - Well, let's say there is no God ... And who then changes the water in the aquarium? One of the most striking manifestations of optimism is the phrase: "What a fool I was!" What my mother gave birth to is worn out ... If love in you is strength, if you are in love is weakness Why do you need health at your age? I'm not dumb - I'm not in the mood Who said that Kutuzov did not have one eye? Kutuzov had one eye! Wanted workers to work at work. Payment by money. I'm not serious - I'm bored I'm not pretty - I'm damn cute Healthy sleep not only lengthens life, but also shortens the working day. The penguin is a rare bird. This means that it should fly to the middle of the Dnieper. He who does not go forward goes back - there is no standing position. There is nothing sadder than the life of women who only knew how to be beautiful. There is more pride in jealousy than love. Give a person what he wants and you will deprive him of the meaning of life. Worse than yesterday can only be tomorrow. "Where there are few words, there they have weight" - Shakespeare. I've hit it over 9,000 times in my career. I have lost almost 300 matches. 26 times I have been trusted to make the decisive shot and missed. I have very often failed in my life. This is why I have succeeded. The most difficult thing in an argument is not so much to defend your point of view as to have a clear idea of it. Born to crawl, crawl through everywhere. "We can only speak frankly about our shortcomings with those who recognize our merits." "It is not enough to have a purpose in life, you need to be able to shoot accurately." Do not wish people what you want for yourself, you may have different tastes We have learned to fly like birds and swim like fish, but we still need to learn to just walk on the ground like brothers. Too many people think about protection instead of thinking about opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. There can be a great fire in our soul. But no one may ever come to warm up at him, because those passing by see only a stream of smoke. What is the end of the world for a caterpillar is a birthday for a butterfly. Life is what happens when you are busy with other plans. I want to go to hell, not heaven. There I can enjoy the company of popes, kings and dukes, while paradise is inhabited only by beggars, monks and apostles. Hurry to live in order to have time to start all over again. You shouldn't grow wings if you don't know where to fly. My nights are better than your days. Be careful in your desires, otherwise they may come true. If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a complaint book - "Fate is a whore" © Ranevskaya My attitude in life: ask fewer questions and eat ice cream before it melts When you are not needed, but you are, this is a terrible situation that humiliates you first of all. One woman is DIFFERENT from another: no better, no worse, just different ... A screw hammered in will sit tighter than a nail in a screwdriver. Love is like a tree, it grows by itself, takes root deeply into our entire being and often continues to turn green and bloom even on the ruins of our heart. Life is given once, but it succeeds even less often. It happens that love will pass by itself Not touching the heart, not the mind. When a woman chooses a lover for herself, it is not so important for her whether she likes him, as whether other women like him. When I eat, I am deaf and dumb, cunning and fast, and devilishly smart ... Men appreciate the most material thing in women - beauty, and women in men - the most ephemeral: reliability. Woman, perhaps, has not yet created a single great invention, but she has created all the great inventors. A woman never notices what is being done for her, but she will always notice what is not being done for her. A woman in love is more likely to forgive more immodesty than little infidelity. If you want to force a woman to change her mind, you must categorically agree with her. Women have only one way to make us happy and thirty thousand means - to make us unhappy. Women - like cats - often love the house rather than the owner. Women are absolutely natural and consistent in their inconstancy ... Women are a special people: if you say compliments to them, they take them for the truth, if you say the truth, they get offended. Women are not born, they become. A woman who loves boldly does not try to treat urgent problems like a man - she is just a woman, before whose femininity any everyday disorder bows respectfully and retreats. I want to love you, but not hold you. I want to appreciate you without reason. I want to join you, but not invade you. I want to ask, but not demand. I want to help, but not to blame for inability. If we both want it, then we can meet. Do not brag that your wife is the best: women may be offended, and men will want to make sure. If you persuade a woman for a very long time, she will think that you are only capable of talking. Married life is a war every day and a truce every night. Do not be sad if your wife had someone before you: it is worse if she has someone after. The only real mistake is not to correct your past mistakes. There are two ways to command women. But nobody knows them. A man, if he could understand what a woman thinks, would still not believe. Friendship between a man and a woman is based on the hope of one of the parties that it is not just friendship. In love, one always kisses, and the other only turns his cheek Women don't like shy men. Cats don't like cautious rats. Men are always right and women are never wrong. A career is a wonderful thing, but it can't keep anyone warm on a cold night. The baby is a great example of a ruling minority. It's easy to become a father. By contrast, being a father is difficult. Calling rule. The phone you are looking at never rings. God created a woman later because he did not want to listen to advice when creating a man. The more women strive to free themselves, the more unhappy they become. A friend is a person who knows everything about you - and yet loves you. The beloved is forgiven for what is not forgiven to others, and what is not forgiven for others. If a woman hates you, then she loved you, loves or will love you. Nobody becomes a good person by accident. The most offensive thing is when your dream comes true for someone else. Difficulties are the easiest to create. Where is the beginning of that end, which ends with the beginning. A beautiful woman usually suffers from two illnesses at once: delusions of grandeur and delusions of persecution. If a person is happy for more than one day, then something is hiding from him. A true friend is someone who will hold your hand and feel your heart. All girls are by nature angels, but when their wings break off, they have to fly on a broomstick. Set big goals for yourself - they're harder to miss! The average woman prefers to be beautiful rather than smart, because the average man sees better than understands. Paradox: Putting 6 socks in the washing machine, you take out only 5. When the toilet is closed, you want to pay for its use. The client does not know what he wants until he sees what he received. When there is nothing left to do, many do so. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or obese. So that you live as you become poor! The day was not in vain! If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. Short roads differ from long ones in that they charge a toll. And on dark roads they like to announce the price at the end of the road ... Happiness is that you do not notice when it is, and you notice when it is not ... I am made of a man's rib to protect his heart))) Very often we choose not from what we want to have, but from what we are afraid of losing You don't sleep all day, you don't eat all night - of course, you get tired ... Conscience is a person's wealth, and we - students - are poor people ... A genius sleeps in any of us, and every day it gets stronger. I didn't even think about what you thought! Everyone knows that money is not happiness, but everyone wants to be convinced personally. A keychain is such a small figurine that allows you to lose all your keys at the same time. The burner is not Ukrainian vodka, it is a small anthropoid monkey. Until you find a place in the sun, it's already evening. Everyone has children, butterflies have children, fish, birds, even dogs. Only the pencil has no children, because it has an elastic band at the end! Love is an electric current that flows from head to toe. And it gets to the point where a son or daughter is born. Let us live cool, so that we don't want to change our lives! Falling in love is a reason for temptation, let's seduce each other !!! Only those who have felt fear in their hearts have courage, Who looks into the abyss, but looks with pride in his eyes. No wonder women don't have time for anything: just look at their tiny watch. Only one person understood me; and he, to tell the truth, did not understand me. Life is a cross-country race in which everyone strives to get ahead in order to come to the finish line last. Only on your birthday will you find out how many unnecessary things exist in the world. My conscience is clear because I never use it. Men love beautiful women more than smart women because it is easier for them to look, not think. A well-hung tongue always itches. It's good not to do anything, and then take some rest. Never play with a fool, he will lower you to his level and defeat you on his territory. You may not be mine, but I am yours. The most compelling womens cosmetics are brains powder! Never eat the last cutlet from the frying pan: you cannot eat one cutlet, and an empty frying pan will have to be washed. So many nice cute girls ... I'm the only one as an exception to all the rules ... When there is no woman next to a man, he begins to do stupid things. When there is no man next to a woman ... she begins to do dirty tricks. It is much easier to get forgiveness later than permission first. "The task - to make a person happy - was not part of the plan for the creation of the world." How we live is a state secret, what a commercial secret! When I was born, I was so amazed that I did not speak to anyone for 2 years! A woman is like a weapon: you cannot play with her. Life, no matter how you swear it, is still worth living. A woman is dangerous for every paradise ... You don't need to have friends, you need to be friends with them ... Life is harmful, they die from this ... There are always at least two truths ... Doing bullshit at work develops hearing, peripheral vision, reaction and alertness in general ... Loneliness is bad because few people can endure themselves for a long time ... A virgin is no better than a libertine - both, in essence, think about the same thing The best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it .. How long I have been living, I cannot understand two things: where does the dust come from and where does the money go Better to do and regret than regret not doing. Following the law of a sandwich, we can conclude that if a sandwich is smeared on both sides, it will hang in the air. I have everything except money and happiness. Your joy from the onset of a clear, sunny morning will be incomplete if it suddenly becomes clear to you that it is Monday. If they are trying to drag you into a win-win lottery, it means that you will not leave without losing. The registry office is a place where love is rejected. Praise evasion is a request to repeat. Tell me what you think and I will tell you what. All the gods WERE immortal. Fools die on Fridays, and who else will die when there are two weekends ahead. If Eve did not betray Adam, then why did humanity descend from a monkey? It's good to be brave, but scary ... The later the ambulance arrives, the more accurate its diagnosis ... If you are late for work, then you have it. A negative result is also a result, especially if it is an HIV test. One must live in such a way as to envy oneself. Everyone knows that our life is a game, but how to play it ... If you're arguing with an idiot, he probably does the same. Nobody can bring us to our knees! We lay, and we will lie! If a man is a goat, this does not mean that he is a beast in bed. Everything in a woman should be fine - don't put anything in her! Life is like a piano: black key, white key, cover .... ( The ransom demands of the terrorists have been fulfilled. The terrorists were ransomed and the bainki were packed. No one has died of knowledge yet, but I don’t want to risk it. A wonderful phrase: good always triumphs over evil! It is still unclear who wins whom ... April Fools' Day is an American folk holiday. Life is like a dog sled: if you don't go ahead, you see the same thing all the time. Happiness is when the desired coincides with the inevitable. Every time, leaving the hairdresser, I am tormented by the same question - why did they ask me how I want to get a haircut? Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it was. Love is like war: easy to start, difficult to end, impossible to forget ... A bit of Vishnevsky: I look good, but not often. It's easier for men, their mother-in-law love ... Yes, you must finally agree: I'm not stubborn! I love without memory ... without memory ... who? .. Years go by, I'm still over thirty ... Hindrances to happiness - you and excess weight. Here is a scoundrel: blushes - and does not lie! Today pilaf is without meat. And no rice. What kind of money is it? This is surrender !!! Both my mother and the Ministry of Health warned ... Significantly silent, but asks unambiguously! In bed, he is like a god: he does not snore! There is a lot of childishness in it: he does not like semolina ... I believe that you too will be able to ruin someone's life! No matter what, no where, no one ... Time heals, but the outcome is always fatal ... All in soap, but I keep myself in hand ... Fate, bared its teeth, smiled ... I have nothing to hide, but I so wanted to hide ... Love is needed like money: every day. I fell asleep without saying goodbye ... I'm getting divorced! I demand now, but not immediately! It's time to put up, tomorrow is payday ... 😉 Friends, here are collected cool phrases, aphorisms and sayings of great people. Perhaps you will discover something new for yourself. Cool quotes and aphorisms"It's not a shame to be poor, it's a shame to be cheap." "Only three kinds of people will tell you the truth: children, drunks, and people in anger." "Who are we to not forgive each other offenses, even if God forgives us our sins." "Someday later" is a dangerous disease that sooner or later will bury your dreams with you ... " “If you think that the Universe is sitting and inventing problems and illnesses for you, then you have delusions of grandeur. She just realizes your thoughts. " “You cannot beat small children and defenseless animals! They cannot answer you in kind. " "Each person has merits for which it is worth forgiving shortcomings." "You should not drink for the health of your parents, but pray." "Jealousy is the recognition that someone is better than you." "What is our destiny if not a manifestation of our will and reason among the inert mass of circumstances that life presents to us." “Today is the best day of my life, because yesterday has already passed, but tomorrow has not come yet! " "Life is 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of how we react to it .." "Use the balloon rule: throw out everything you don't need to gain altitude." “You have to live so that everyone who communicated with you later regrets that you are not there.” “Man today is a product of multi-million generations from the creation of the world. Don't try to remake it. Take what it is! " "In addition to love and respect for loved ones, you need to have a sense of tact not to overstep the line of their personal space." "Love those you sleep with if you cannot sleep with those you love." "Time is money"? No! Time is more precious than any money! "You need to be better than yesterday, not better than others." “There is no time now. There will be no strength tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow there will be no us. Don't put off anything. Live here and now! " “Do good! Or at least don't be angry. " "Remember us, for we also lived, loved and laughed ..." (about the dead) Famous People Quotes😉 Cool phrases! "The body is the least that a woman can give to a man." R. Rolland “Why should we hate each other? We are all at the same time, carried away by the same planet, we are the team of one ship. " Antoine de Saint-Exupery “Children are holy and pure. You can't make them a plaything of your mood. " A.P. Chekhov "Perhaps in this world you are just a person, but for someone you are the whole world." "The best remedy for resentment is forgiveness." Seneca “Man is a product of his own thoughts. What he thinks about, so he becomes. " Mahatma Gandhi "Your success depends on the habits you develop over time." Brian Tracy "You are controlled by the one who makes you angry." Lao Tzu “There is no room for people in the city. There are no people, there are functions: a postman, a salesman, a neighbor who interferes ... you value a person in the desert. " Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"In this world, only death and taxes are inevitable." Benjamin Franklin “Don't imitate others. Find yourself and be yourself. " Dale Carnegie "The whole secret of public speaking success is talking to people, not speaking to them!" Radislav Gandapas "The most important thing in women's clothing is the woman who wears it." Yves Saint Laurent Quotes from wise women
Friends, write in the comments what favorite and cool phrases inspire you. 🙂 Thank you! |
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