Before we move on to the actual technique of lying, we need to decide on one very important thing. Try to answer the question: what is a lie for you? Fun like an innocent lie for a laugh? An immoral act, for which you will be ashamed later? A test of strength in manipulating other people? Success in mastering the complex and multifaceted art of deception depends very much on how exactly a lie and its purpose are perceived. We propose the perception of lies as a weapon that is used primarily for self-defense, but in some cases can also be used to attack.

By defining lies for ourselves in this way, we solve two serious problems at once. First, it is a moral issue. A correct definition of lying reduces the question of morality and the permissibility of deceit to the question of morality and the permissibility of the use of weapons. After that, the lie appears in purely technical and legal aspects, losing its traditional ethically negative connotation. At first glance, this trick may seem insignificant, but in fact it is not. To successfully deceive, the liar must feel absolutely right. Just as exactly as a person who uses a weapon in self-defense feels right. Awareness of inner rightness makes a lie unrecognizable by technical means that determine stress. It is this feeling that eliminates the need to excel in numerous techniques that help disguise a lie. An inwardly right person will never show signs of lying, such as rubbing their face, hiding their hands, or flushing their face.

Secondly, a lie, like a weapon, requires the most serious attitude. Countless insufficiently responsible people have paid the price for their frivolous attitude towards weapons. But those who have been seriously affected by the frivolous use of lies are thousands of times more. Have you ever wondered why the sword is sacred to the samurai? Yes, because a sacred thing cannot be played with and indulged in, it cannot be used for other purposes and thrown anywhere. It's scary to even imagine what you can do with a meter-long scalpel weighing one and a half kilograms, if you treat it as casually as you would treat slippers. Deception is a high art, no less difficult and dangerous than swordsmanship. And any other attitude towards him will sooner or later lead to disastrous consequences.

Lie Technique - Preparation

1. Realize yourself as a Liar. And realize that it's good. Not ashamed, not disgusting, not humiliating, but good. Because it gives you an edge over those who can't lie. In exactly the same way as a weapon gives an advantage over the unarmed. Realize that all attempts to vilify the art of lying are essentially attempts to disarm you and make you weaker. Do not listen to anyone, and arm yourself, including the ability to lie correctly. Use this weapon like any other - to protect yourself and your loved ones. And be proud that you are a Liar, be proud of your power.

2. Always tell the truth. Except when it's absolutely necessary to lie. It's like with a samurai sword - don't chop wood with it, don't shave your hair, and don't chop nuts with the hilt. A skillful liar is simply obliged to have a reputation as an honest person. The point is not only that an honest person will be believed faster. Any lie is costly because it requires further maintenance. At a minimum, it is necessary to remember everything that is presented as valid, not being such. And as a maximum, significant amendments to behavior may be required, which can be very sensitive. In general, it is worth gradually accustoming others to the fact that your words always mirror reality. To do this, you need to regularly do two things: state undoubted facts, and never make assumptions that may not be confirmed later. After a while, people around you will unconsciously catch the connection of your words with reality, and you will not only get the opportunity to successfully lie, but you will also be able to convince others more easily - they will believe you.

3. Constantly train the technique of lying. At first glance, this advice contradicts the recommendation to always tell the truth. But it's not. The truth must be told about what can be verified. If a fact cannot be verified, it is the perfect lie trainer. Let's take an example. To friends at work who are not in your house, you can tell a whole story about what happened to you at yesterday's dinner, and what dishes you had to taste. Just don't come up with something out of the ordinary. In lying, you need to be as accurate and modest as possible. If you ate meat and drank red wine, lie that you drank white and enjoyed a fish dish. Take the exercise seriously - you are honing your weapon skills, no more and no less.

4. Make the lie true. Not in the sense of conformity with reality, but in the sense of being right in a lie. To do this, it is necessary to realize with all clarity the relativity of moral norms. For example, it is uncivilized to walk naked down the street, and a well-mannered person will not do this. But when, during a fire in Japan, women refused to jump out of the windows onto a rescue trampoline because they were afraid that the kimono would open and the firefighters would see their nakedness, it was clearly too much. Another example. Stealing is not good, everyone knows this from childhood. But if a drug that saves a life can only be stolen, then it necessary steal. And if a mother has only one way out to feed her child - to steal food, then her necessary steal. If it is necessary to lie to protect yourself or your loved ones, then by lying, you will be absolutely right. Not lying in this situation means becoming a traitor. By the way, Islamic countries, famous for their cruelty in reprisals for theft, understand this very well. Therefore, those caught stealing for food will be released without punishment. Remember to apply this principle to your workouts as well. In honing the technique of lying, you are absolutely right, as you are preparing one day to skillfully apply a lie in a critical situation.

Lie Technique - Practical Techniques

If you have succeeded in the preparatory stage described above, you will not need to master most of the standard lie masking techniques - your non-verbal signals will indicate that you are telling the truth. However, some subtle points still need to be taken into account.

1. Organize the lies so that as many of them as possible are true. In the most virtuoso deception, everything should be true separately, but when added into a single picture, a lie should be obtained. In practice, for a good, solid lie, you need to take care of a sufficient number of absolutely truthful facts and scenes that naturally and logically fit into the outline of the story. With each confirmed true fact, the thoroughness of the search for possible lies decreases, and usually eventually disappears. But that's not the point. Each lie will require a large number of details that link it to the events that really happened, and all of them will have to be included in the narrative picture. Therefore, such a costly lie must be saved.

2. Learn your version of reality. This means that you will be able to reproduce the entire course of events an unlimited number of times without discrepancies. After the sequence is firmly memorized, try playing it in reverse order. If you can't, you will be caught lying - you can remember what happened backwards, but it is much more difficult to reproduce an intellectual construct in the same way. Just do not get carried away, and use this technique solely as a test, no more than two times. Because too fast and confident scrolling of events in reverse order undeniably indicates preparation. You should also avoid memorized phrases that will instantly betray a liar. Tell about the event many times in different styles and expressions, from different persons - yourself, another participant in the events, a witness to the events, a friend of the witness of the events who learned everything from the stories of an eyewitness. Do not skimp on vivid descriptions and metaphors. If you want to achieve decent quality, give all these characters different personalities, and play a small performance of one actor. And remember: if you constantly tell a fictional version of events, or even better, write it down with an ordinary ballpoint pen many times, at some point you will begin to perceive it as true. This is exactly what we should strive for.

3. Liven up your version of reality. Just learning the content and sequence of events is not enough - it's just the backbone. If you lie that you spoke on the phone, they will definitely ask you what room you were in, what you were wearing, who was present during the conversation, etc. The same questions can be asked with a break of several days, and if there is no time wait, immediately after the received answer will divert your attention, and ask the same questions a couple of hours later. In order not to be embarrassed and not fall for such primitive tricks, one should not invent all fictional events, but take them from life. If you're lying about a phone conversation that took place, remember a very real phone conversation and integrate it into your version of reality in every detail. This will achieve another important effect. During lying, your eyes will move exactly as they should during recall, not during reconstruction. Psychologists interrogating you will appreciate it.

4. They say it's bad when everything is too good. This is very true for lies. Confident Recollection all details inevitably gives preparation. Highlight a number of minor details that you allegedly find it difficult to remember. The internal representation of most of these details should be variable, that is, have several possible options, from which you find it difficult to choose which took place in reality. While pretending to remember, attempt to reconstruct aloud. That is, demonstrate attempts to compensate for failure in recall with logic. Some very small details declare forgotten. To retain a detail in memory, a previous concentration of attention on it is necessary, and this happens only if this detail is important. Confident recall of non-essential details may indicate either a reconstruction with prior preparation, or the presence of hidden meanings that forced one to concentrate on supposedly insignificant points. Therefore, be prepared to explain the reason for your phenomenal memory to some trifles. For example, you can remember exactly the sweater you wore on a certain day, just because your wife gave you a scolding for wearing out-of-fashion items.

Two kinds of lies

So far, we have been talking about one kind of lie - about what was not, but is presented as having taken place. For example, in this way you can lie about a day full of work and worries, while in fact the day passed in more pleasant and relaxing activities. Or about a meeting that allegedly brought one result, while in fact the result was completely different. The second kind of lying, on the other hand, refers to denying what you actually did. Such an example - did you enter into an intimate relationship yesterday with the wife of citizen Ivanov? Or - did you take money from the cash register? Paradoxical as it may seem, it is often easier to make up and pass off even a very long story as the truth than to plausibly deny some real trifle that you nevertheless did.

This is due to two psychological features. Firstly, the point nature of the question limits the room for maneuver, and all the tension spills out in a matter of moments. In such a situation, the slightest falseness increases to incredible proportions. Secondly, the question is usually asked about committing a reprehensible act, and this is the most important thing! Even the most inveterate villains, confident in their complete absence of torments of conscience, are suddenly given out from some unknown depth of the unconscious by a shadow of guilt that has surfaced. And the skin of the face begins to turn a little red, and the palms sweat, the breath is barely noticeably quickened, the eyes make a treacherous movement, and the throat dries up, forcing you to swallow saliva once again.

The point is not even that a person is ashamed of what he has done, but that such a majority counts shameful. That is, it may not even give a feeling of the abomination of the deed, but a herd feeling that makes you feel guilty "for the company", simply because it is customary. In order not to be disgraced in this way, it is necessary to pay the closest attention to developing a sense of one's own rightness, regardless of what is accepted and what is not. And if you personally consider your connection with the wife of citizen Ivanov to be correct, then it’s not for you to blush for her. And you can lie to the surrounding moralists so that they do not harm you in a fit of righteous anger. After all, it is so natural for moralists to harm another person just because his actions seem wrong to them.

And one more important remark about the second type of lie. Even if you lie that you didn’t do something, there must still be an affirmative construction of what you did in your mind. Let's go back to the example above. If you didn't take money from the cash register, what did you do instead? We must sincerely recall how you counted money, signed the statements, drank tea during a break and gave change from large bills. And the moment when in one version of reality you could take the money should be replaced with a moment from another version of reality, in which you carefully and for a long time checked the banknote that seemed suspicious.

Everyone in their life at least once had that awkward moment when they were caught trying to deceive. Researchers have spent countless hours studying the verbal, non-verbal and paralinguistic signs of lying so that we can identify who is lying to us. But the other side of the coin, the characteristics of ideal liars, has been studied very little.

Former special agent and now FBI consultant John Schafer shares unexpected information on how to tell a lie without being caught lying.

Good liars control their emotions

The fear of being caught in a lie turns on the natural “fight or flight” mechanism that mentally and physically prepares the body for rescue. When this algorithm is turned on, the body automatically, completely unconsciously, gives out a reaction to the state of fear. When fear builds up, the brain's ability to process information plummets - how much depends on the actual or perceived likelihood of being caught.

The fight-or-flight response presents two important obstacles for liars. First: breathing and pulse become more frequent, sweating increases. The increased energy of the body "splashes out" through increased motor activity. It is these manifestations of a nervous state that have been identified as non-verbal signs of deception. Fortunately for liars, none of them is considered an accurate indicator of a lie.

However, the best way to deceive cheaters is to observe the characteristic gestures associated with the fight-or-flight response. Good liars have learned to release excess body energy without attracting unwanted attention.

Cognitive overload creates difficulties for the thought process and speech, which, accordingly, makes it difficult to successfully deceive

Second hurdle: cognitive overload during the fight-or-flight response. When trying to deceive someone, liars think about many things at the same time. We have to control verbal and non-verbal signs, remember what they have already said and what they have not said before, make sure that the story they have composed sounds logical and believable.

In addition, liars have to constantly keep in mind what words, gestures or facial expressions can give them away. In other words, when a person tells a lie, his brain is fully turned on. Cognitive overload creates difficulties for the thought process and speech, which, accordingly, makes it difficult to successfully deceive, explains John Schafer.

Tip #1: In order to lie more effectively, you need to identify and recognize the very beginning of the fight-or-flight response and make efforts to eliminate or hide its manifestations. This will provide additional resources for convincing deception.

Good liars stay themselves

Under normal circumstances, human behavior remains fairly constant and predictable. Internal restrictions determine which actions are characteristic of him and which are not. People are often caught lying precisely because they say or do something that is not natural for them. Parents expose children to clean water when they change their behavior patterns in an attempt to deceive. Husbands and wives determine lies by the "strange" actions of partners. Unusual behavior breeds suspicion.

The second tip: in order to reduce the chances of being caught in a lie, you need to be yourself. Speak and act like you always do. This is especially important if you are deceiving those who know you well. They can quickly feel that you are out of the ordinary.

Good liars are social people

In terms of the ability to tell lies, extroverts have an inherent advantage over introverts, because in the eyes of others they look more confident and pleasant. Self-confidence and the ability to please "disarm" suspiciousness. And external attractiveness and the ability to communicate increase the chances of any deceiver. People tend to notice inconsistencies much less and believe more in the innocence of those they like.

Third tip: if you are an introvert, watch extroverts, their facial expressions and behavior in order to increase your chances of becoming a good liar.

Good liars are quick to think

The art of deception requires the ability to think quickly. When speaking a lie, a person is often faced with unexpected questions, and his answer determines whether he is believed or not. The speaker may be given away by an inappropriate pause or an unconscious touch to the face.

Fourth advice: the ability to think quickly can be trained. Stand in front of a large full-length mirror and tell a lie, then ask yourself a surprise question and watch how you answer. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal displays and other possible clues. To imagine how the one you are going to lie to will feel, say: “My light is a mirror, tell me, who does not know the word of a lie, who is the most honest, sincere and true in the world?”

“As you can see,” Schafer concludes, “becoming a good liar is possible if you practice simple techniques and avoid showing typical signs of deception. Your life can become more comfortable without those embarrassing moments when you are caught lying.” “Of course, sometimes your conscience will wake up and you will spend many sleepless nights - but is that a big price to pay for becoming a real consummate liar?” he asks sarcastically.

About the Expert: John Schafer is a former special agent and current FBI consultant, and co-author of Turning on Charm the Secret Service Method (Mann, Ivanov, and Ferber, 2015).

It is customary to build relationships between people according to well-known rules - to greet at a meeting, to take an interest in the affairs of acquaintances, but there are non-vowel rules - it is not customary to talk about them, but they are closely connected with in society. How can one learn to lie without harming others, without exchanging one's own values ​​for profit?

Why do people lie to each other?

This world was not invented by us - it remains to obey the rules and build relationships, sometimes replacing the truth with a lie. One of the answers to the question why people lie is that the opponent is not ready to hear the truth, truthful information can cause damage. Psychologists form a number of reasons that make you lie:

• calm relations between family and friends;
• protection of own interests;
• self-doubt - complexes;
• exaggeration of real events;
• attracting the attention of the opposite side.

If a parent tells a small child that his drawing is meaningless and not interesting, it will be cruel, albeit true. To tell a patient about a serious illness means to kill the hope of recovery in the bud, is also cruel. It is easy to express your objective opinion about the boss, at work, if he is a professional and a good person, but if the opinion about him is completely opposite, then you will lose your job. The way out is easier to lie.

How to learn to lie well?

Life relationships, like a color palette, cannot be strictly divided into two parts - lies and truth. Some parents teach children from childhood that lying is a bad deed, you can’t do it, while others, on the contrary, teach that their own interests are above all rules. How to learn to lie, or at least not express your opinion to the detriment of personal interests:

• a complex and uncomfortable conversation must be started from afar - to smooth out sharp corners by conducting comparative situations;
• perhaps the interlocutor will guess what it is about, that he is being provided with “not true information”, but he should not hear specific leading information from the mouth of the narrator;
• incompetence in certain matters can become a weighty argument; if the narrator is exposed, there is no need to admit direct guilt.

How to learn to lie convincingly?

A couple of tips on how to learn to deceive, but not to fall into a similar trap yourself. You should start your deception training in front of a mirror, look at the expression on your own face, you need to look believable, if necessary - pathetic and stupid, but convincing. Take a look at yourself from the outside, believe in your own invented story. An increase in tone, or psychological pressure in such cases is unacceptable.

Tell the listener “your truth”, wait for his reaction, if he doesn’t believe, don’t pressure, give a chance to change his mind, provide a reasonable argument for reflection, draw a parallel - remember the situation when his mistake led to negative consequences. False information must be hidden behind underlining the words "truth" and "really", not to assert, but to express a version. Do not put your interests on display, do not be afraid to look like a simpleton in the eyes of another person.

How to learn to lie in the eyes?

If a person is convicted of lying on specific facts, it is better to admit small mistakes and the inconsistency of the smallest details with reality. An adequate person recognizes his helplessness in the current situation and point out ignorance, the circumstances that forced him to do so. How to learn to skillfully lie - when talking with a friend on a neutral topic, you should turn your eyes away and say hello loudly, as if a friend is passing by, if a person looks around, then he believed, it turned out to lie truthfully, turn this situation into a joke.

A person who has never told a lie in his life is most likely either already dead or moved to live in an institution for the insane. Journalist Kolya Sulima tells how and to whom you can lie in order to sound convincing.

One night they called me and said that I had to go to the alarm in the store - this was part of my duties. Tired, on autopilot, I replied, "Sorry, I'm not home right now." At the other end, after a pause, they retorted: “How do you explain the fact that we are calling you at home?”

Let's not portray immaculate angels. We lie so much that none of us will remember our first time. Unless especially vivid episodes, and only in cases where we come across - successful lies are always erased from memory. Because we ourselves believed in it. In the real world, it is impossible to survive without lies. And if so, let's analyze how to succeed in this matter.

Let's start by debunking the myths presented by the film "Seventeen Moments of Spring". No one will give us, like Stirlitz, the opportunity to lay out match animals on the table for hours in an attempt to build a plausible version of events. You need to understand that by the time you are about to lie, you should have a plan of action and a story ready. Citizens from the cinematic Gestapo could afford to dismiss the nurses and marinate the spy so that he could compose an alibi for himself. They only had the fate of the Reich at stake, but you risk your career, family peace or your mother's health.

1. Design the legend ahead of time

Amateurism and carelessness are the key to immediate failure. It is easy to lie to children under the age of five. Their RAM will still erase everything without a trace, and the next day you will receive a clean version, fresh from the press. But if you are going to lie to an adult, then do not deny him the ability to critical analysis. Your version of events should be logical, flow from your usual lifestyle and daily routine. If you have never suffered from a love of painting, no one will believe that you cried for two hours before Pukirev's "Unequal Marriage".

2. Throw in details

The devil is hidden in the details. They make the legend believable. It is the details that are remembered best of all, and not at all the last of what was said, here I will again refute Stirlitz. It looks like he was a total liar. Lie only about places and events that you can accurately describe - you have been there. But have a sense of proportion - too bright details arouse suspicion. One or two anchors, casually served like an ace out of the sleeve, no colorful stories and gypsies with bears.

3. Involve a minimum of third parties

Turning a lie into a sequel to Warrior and Peace is extremely dangerous. If you have a dubious reputation behind you and your version will be checked, take precautions. First, clearly stipulate the course of events with accomplices. Do you already have compelling details? Describe them in detail to your partners.

Ideally, the number of witnesses should tend to zero. A loyal friend or girlfriend with sufficient IQ who can remember the date, time and place and put the facts in the correct order. The more people you involve in your plan, the more likely it is to fail. Someone at the time of interrogation will be drunk, someone is driving - and write wasted.

Women show an order of magnitude more courage and inspiration when it comes to complex designs. I know a girl who involved dozens of people in the system of lies to her own spouse: she managed to fly to different cities, once even paying for a ticket from her husband’s card. Someone took her from home “to the bathhouse”, for which she always had a backpack ready: on top of a towel and a washcloth, under them shoes and an evening dress, they came for her, for persuasiveness, taking their own child, or her husband himself took her to friend, but all her routes invariably ended in someone else's bed. Two years. In the end, of course, a divorce, but the network was never revealed.

4. Control the body

Photo: thedandyliar.tumblr.com

In addition to your mouth language, you also have body language, which is often quite treacherous. For an inexperienced liar, this becomes a problem: in terms of expressiveness, body language is in no way inferior to verbal means and betrays red-handed no worse than fingerprints. Body language is read subconsciously: it is enough to be squeezed, avoid looking into the eyes, fold your arms in a protective position - and now you are already starting to drive needles under your nails. And all the damn adrenaline that causes sweating, shortness of breath and unnatural movements. Try to lie on the phone first - so you will not be seen. If you need to lie personally, do breathing exercises, calm your nerves and act: a straight back, open arms, a firm look. Just don’t try to drink to relieve tension - tell everything as it was, and even slip out about that incident, which is embarrassing to remember.

5. Control your voice

Take a cue from Frank Sinatra when he sings "Strangers in the night". I am ready to believe his every word: I swear, everything was so. Why? And he presents it well! A man, however, is easier to deceive than a woman. Due to genetic reasons, women are much more subtle in capturing the nuances of speech and isolating inconsistencies from what they hear. It is this ability that allows them to hear the cry of their baby in the midst of the roar of an electric meat grinder. The highest category of complexity is wives and mothers. During the time that you spent together, your speech was recorded in their memory in the form of a certain set of vibrations (do not flatter yourself about the fact that women are interested in what you weave daily). Deviations in timbre and tempo are immediately registered and arouse suspicion. Lie better to men, so the risk of getting caught is much less. But in all cases, follow simple rules: relax the abdominal muscles, release your breath, breathe evenly. Laugh in the right places, there is nothing more useful for distraction than laughter.

6. Believe in everything yourself

The universal and invincible way to lie is to believe yourself that it was so. This is the major league, Oscar nomination in the Lie category. True, only true artists are capable of such a thing. The inspired chatter of these citizens will find its way to any heart: the eyes burn with a restrained brilliance, the voice lulls, the gestures inspire confidence, and here Konstantin Sergeevich wipes away an old tear, saying: “Darling, I believe you.” This takes time and preparation. Rehearse your part in front of a mirror, looking into the depths of your soul, memorize it from beginning to end and back until your legend begins to dream of you.

7. Attack!

Photo: claytonology.weebly.com

Politicians are creatures genetically predisposed to lying that inhabit our planet. In addition to natural hypnotic data, they usually also have methods of diverting attention. In case you are caught in a lie, use their know-how. There is no better defense than an attack - remind your opponent of an episode from the past when he behaved reprehensibly. It doesn't matter if it has anything to do with your lies, it is important for you to shift the blame from your head to a healthy one. Demagogy and self-confidence are the best helpers here: “How could you lie to me?” “How could you not love my grandmother? She moved from Shchuchin, just to be closer to you! ”, - and the conversation immediately takes a direction that is beneficial to you. The best instances of politicians immediately came up with offensive nicknames for their opponents based on physical and personal characteristics, but I do not recommend this method to you. Especially if you need to lie to your mother or wife.

8. Deny everything

Common sense, logic, even video recordings - everything gives in to the reinforced concrete word "no". If you lie to loved ones, the task is made easier - they are obviously determined to forgive you.

My friend's wife once found a pack of condoms in his bag. She carefully cut each in half and put the pack back, zipping it shut. Since then, none of them has hinted at the incident, but each drew the appropriate conclusions for himself.

People can cheat on spouses for years according to the schedule, while the second half will know where and why the first one goes every Saturday - everything, right down to the exact address. And don't make any noise. Only the most consistent of people will seek your final fiasco. If they act like this, chances are your relationship is in a coma. You will certainly be acquitted, be patient. The main thing - do not try to show weakness and begin to apologize!

9. Agree with everything

Paradoxically, this method works just as well as the previous one, especially with men. Without fear of being labeled a sexist, I will note that there is something incredibly attractive in a penitent woman. Either the cultural heritage of Mary Magdalene is to blame, or the alpha male valve is triggered, but I want to start forgiving immediately. Even the last of the men likes the role of the generous Caesar, looking out of the box at the gladiatorial circus.

10. Train your memory

Photo: www.weblyest.com

When embarking on the slippery slope of a liar, remember that you will have to keep in mind all the details of your compositions. A good lie is like a chess player: in cases of multi-move combinations, he keeps all the threads under control, like a spider in a web. Only a complete idiot will keep records, it’s better to admit everything right away, the result is still the same. The laziness of the mind is punished by exposure.
My friend had a heavy passion for order, she kept all her vacation photos on her work computer in the Vacation folder - both with her husband and with her lover. Convenient and no need to search. Needless to say, her husband dropped by her office one day asking her to send a couple of emails?

Lying is a high art. It combines acting and math skills, trains the flexibility of the mind, memory and in the long run promotes longevity of the brain. If it were not for the moral and ethical nuances, I would recommend lying in a high school course. Alas, at the moment we are left with crosswords, puzzles and macrame courses.

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Telling lies is bad. Just remember that feeling of guilt when you lie to someone. Do you know what could be worse than this feeling? Only the sensations that you experience when you are exposed.

All lies. Only someone gets away with it, and someone constantly gets caught in a lie. Lies are not always selfish (although this “not always” is very rare). There are also white lies. Therefore, the fact that you are not telling the truth may not mean that you are a bad person. But the fact that you are exposed only says one thing: you are no liar.

But we will not touch on the ethical issues of this topic, the purpose of this article is to tell you how to lie correctly (so to speak). And for what purpose and in what circumstances you will use these recommendations - depends on you and on your conscience.

Why do you think liars are exposed, even if their story looks very convincing? They are not trusted, and, as a result, their words are checked. Pay attention to how scammers act who make contact with a person - their whole appearance inspires confidence, all their movements inspire confidence, their behavior inspires confidence; a person does not even think that at the moment his ears are completely covered with noodles.

So that they don’t think to check you, you need to inspire trust in a person. You will need practice and some acting skills.

The hardest thing for a person who tells a lie is to maintain eye contact. When a person is lying, he often looks away, he has a “running look”, he can look somewhere to the side, or is often distracted. Of course, it is difficult to look into the eyes of the person you are deceiving! Therefore, the first thing a born liar needs to know is to maintain eye contact. Doing this is not as easy as it seems. Try to lie to yourself in front of a mirror. I bet you'll be tempted to take your eyes off your own reflection. To maintain eye contact, it is better to look not directly into the eyes, but at the bridge of the nose. Looking higher (on the forehead) on a subconscious level will cause aggression in your interlocutor, and, consequently, distrust. A look below will give the impression that you are feeling guilty (it is no coincidence that those who are often exposed when they tell a lie look at the floor), and guilt is another reason for distrust. Therefore, when we talk with our reflection, we look at the bridge of the nose. Once you're good at lying to yourself, you can invite a friend over and practice with them. Just don't say why you need it. Say that you are going through, for example, psychological training. By the way, here's another workout for you.

In addition to the eyes of a liar, hands give out. When we lie, adrenaline levels rise in the body, so it is difficult to be completely calm. A liar can fiddle with a pencil, the collar of his own shirt, constantly brush off non-existent dust particles from his jacket. The essence of all these gestures is to hide the palm. An open palm is a sign of trust and honesty, and what kind of honesty when you tell a lie! Therefore, the next step is to learn how to show an open palm with an expression of universal calm on the face. Again, this is not as easy as it seems. This does not mean that you should twist your arms and stand with open palms. It can be just one gesture. For example, you took a pencil, but hold it calmly and with your palm towards the interlocutor. Or, in an emotional conversation with gestures, turn your open palm towards the interlocutor. Learn to control your body, it sometimes says more than words!

By the way, about the body. Lies, as a rule, are pronounced in the so-called closed position: the liar crosses his arms, can hug himself by the shoulders; if the conversation takes place while sitting, he can still cross his legs and lean back. An open posture means you have nothing to hide. Therefore, learn to lie in an open position - no crosses, stand or sit still, lean forward slightly when talking. All these signals on a subconscious level will make the interlocutor trust you, and therefore, believe your words.

But in addition to external signals, words can also give out a liar. If you pronounce your lie quickly, in a quiet voice, try to quickly get away from the topic - be sure, trust will not work. It will not work if you start telling a far-fetched story in all details and details. You didn’t do anything wrong, then why are you talking so much? The “ideal” version of a lie is a statement and a minor detail. For example:

“I went shopping last night. I liked one dress, I will definitely buy it from the next salary!”

“Of course, I have already taken up the report, Ivan Ivanovich. Yesterday I got so carried away, I sat at the computer until one in the morning!

Statement and detail. It is in this form that there is nothing to complain about.

And the last thing: if you often lie, then you risk getting confused in your own lies. What really happened to us, we remember, but lies are forgotten pretty quickly. If you say you went to a bar last night and two weeks later you say you went bowling that night, you've got it. You can, of course, write down your lies - what you wrote down, you will surely remember. But what if the "notebook of truth" is found by someone who should not know about it? In general, the less you lie, the better.

In general, I want to wish that you never have to use these recommendations. Well, maybe just to expose a liar.

And remember that your actions force you to lie. Your child, when he grows up, will understand why you once lied to him about storks and cabbage. But if your significant other finds out about the betrayal, regardless, after 10 days or 10 years, it will still hurt her or him. Therefore, before doing something about which you will later have to lie, listen to that voice called "conscience."