As you know, a person is not just a physical being that needs food, sleep, etc. Each of us has emotions that are important and need to be expressed. Experienced psychologists advise not to keep your feelings inside and let them spill out - this way you can avoid stress and many psychological problems.
On the other hand, there must be a balance in everything.
A person who does not know how to control his emotions is like a car without brakes, which rushes along the highway, ignoring the signs, and then an accident is inevitable.
Our feelings, if mistreated, can not create, but destroy us and the people around us.
How to learn to control your emotions?
This is the question we will try to answer in this article. By following a few simple tips, you will learn what control and self-control are, learn to control yourself even in the most stressful and unforeseen situations.
1. Don't bring yourself to a "boiling point".
Contrary to many stereotypes, psychologists have proven that any, even the most unbridled temper, can be pacified if you do not take yourself to extremes. And this applies not only to negative, but also to positive emotions. The development of self-control is something that comes from one's own experience and practice.
For example, you start arguing with someone and lose your temper, “heating up” like a boiling kettle.
Even if you weren't the one who initiated the conflict, but you feel that your emotional control is starting to get out of control, just stop, leave the room, take a break from communication. After a few minutes you will understand how it was the right decision. Thanks to a simple effort of will, you will be able to save the nerves of yourself and your loved ones, and, in the end, just remain friends.
2. Don't make excuses.
Many needlessly emotional people(this is especially true for women), who do not know how to control their emotions, often justify their behavior with anything - bad weather, temperament, creative nature, hormonal changes, etc. Of course, external factors have an influence on our psychological state, but not so much that it cannot be kept under supervision.
Start taking responsibility for your actions and learn to control your emotions.
3. Beware of sudden emotional outbursts.
We live in an interesting time, when entertainment and sensations that previously could only be dreamed of have become available. Cinemas with the effect of full presence and immersion in virtual reality, action attractions, incredible slides - all this can cause a violent outburst of emotions. At first, it looks like euphoria, from which we feel good, but then people with not quite a stable psyche can observe side effects such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, fear, etc. Therefore, before attending such events, it is important to learn how to restrain your emotions and not take risks once again.
4. Do breathing exercises.
For those who wish to know how to learn to control their emotions, it is important to pay attention to their breathing. We are not talking about some strange techniques, but about the natural process of saturating the brain with oxygen. As soon as you feel it, practice the following exercise: close your eyes and slowly take a deep breath through your nose. Holding your breath for a couple of seconds, slowly exhale through your mouth, and do the same steps 8-10 times. After the exercise, you will notice a surge of vivacity and emotional balance.
5. Choose a quiet social circle.
Those who communicate with people who have a calm, accommodating nature are less likely to wonder how to learn to control their emotions. The principle is relevant here: do not piss me off, and you yourself will be better off. The less you will be provoked into conflicts and disputes, the easier it will be to manage emotions. No emotion, no problem. However, it is not a fact that constantly being only in such an environment, the development of self-control will be successful, because outside the usual calm social circle, any stress can cause an uncontrollable flow of emotions.
6. Focus on solving the problem.
Most arise out of confusion and panic, as a reaction to a problem that has risen above us like an unbreakable rock. But any problem can be perceived from the other side - as a challenge, a certain task that we need to solve using all our ingenuity and Creative skills. Whatever happens, control and self-control is always important. Pull yourself together and say out loud: there are no unsolvable situations, I can handle it, and I will do it in the best way!
“If you hate, then you have been defeated” (c) Confucius
Agree, without emotions you would be bored?
Emotions make life rich and interesting. And, at the same time, they can destroy your psyche, health, destiny...
To prevent this from happening, you need understand, accept and manage their emotions.
Spiritual sources also confirm this:
"You must strive for emotional harmony and tranquility within the illusory world of the higher fourth dimension as you attempt to adjust to the mental plane of the lower fifth dimension environment."
(c) Archangel Michael through Ronna Herman. May 2015
How achieve emotional harmony? Read the article, and much will become clear to you.
What is the difference between emotions and feelings
First, let's take a look at the concepts emotions and feelings, the relationship and differences between them.
Emotion- This impulsive reaction person to what is happening in this moment event. It is a short-term state and reflects the attitude towards the event. Comes from lat. emovere - excite, excite.
Feeling is an emotional experience that reflects steady attitude person to the environment significant people and objects. Feelings are not related to a particular situation.
Character is the totality of human qualities that affect behavior and reactions in various life situations.
To summarize: emotions, unlike feelings, situational, is a temporary experience of the immediate present moment. In other words, we perceive the world feelings, and react to it with emotions.
Consider it For example football fans during the match.
They were led to the game by a feeling of love, interest in this sport (this is their permanent state).
And in the very process of the match, they experience short-term emotions: enjoyment and admiration of the game, the joy of victory or the disappointment of defeat.
We usually feel soul, but we express our beliefs with emotions.
Also, through emotions are manifested our feelings(joy at the sight of a loved one, anger at the sight of a “hated enemy”).
At the same time, emotions and feelings are situationally may not match or contradict each other. Example: A mother is angry with a deeply loved child.
Depending on the character people show different emotions in the same situations.
For example: the profit of the company has fallen.
If the owner is positive for life man, he will be a little upset, but will quickly pull himself together and will take effect. He will open his attitude to the problem as a motivation for creativity.
In a weaker person, the same situation will cause state of apathy, inactivity, depression.
If you have a depressive, depressed state for no particular reason, and even an unwillingness to live - what can this mean?
Like unbalanced emotions destroy your life
What happens if you do not know how or do not want to understand and control your emotions?
Relationships with people deteriorate
A person who is caught up in emotions sensitivity is dulled to the people around him, even to those close to him.
Therefore, people in an “excited” state have time to tell each other a lot of unpleasant and even hurtful words.
Habitual emotional response shapes your mood and character.
For example, if you do not work with your resentment, the "character of the victim" will be formed. You will react sharply to the slightest remarks of others, enter into frequent conflicts, and then feel unfortunate and depressed.
Your performance drops
You are wasting your energy resources to endless exhausting experiences.
As a result, you may simply not have enough strength for your realization and success.
Write about times in your life when your emotions were unsettling. How did you deal with it?
A non-standard approach to solving problems ... a 3-step algorithm.
Your attitude towards yourself worsens
Excess negative emotions creates the belief that “everything is wrong in life” or “everyone is against me”.
In the end, you self-esteem drops. You may judge and blame yourself, even become depressed.
Your health is destroyed
Uncontrolled emotions play a big role in the occurrence of many diseases. It is called psychosomatics.
Surely, you are familiar with the expression "the disease developed on a nervous basis"?
looping on negative emotions (when you feel constantly guilty or offended),
denial and suppression their emotions (“you can’t be angry with your mother”).
A detailed decoding of the meaning of diseases from Louise Hay
And denying and winding up your emotions is not an option. So you will only destroy your life and make it unbearable.
If you want to be successful in life, you need to study understand and control your emotions.
How to manage your emotions
It is possible to make a quality decision to get out of any difficult situation if you are in a state of emotional balance. Just so you soberly evaluates what is happening and are able to act appropriately.
1. Recognize and name the emotion
To work with emotions, you must first acknowledge their existence.
Learn to name your emotions: I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm happy. Look for shades of emotional states - there are more than a hundred of them!
Recognize at least to myself that you have “negative”, “disapproved” emotions: cowardice, gloating, curiosity to delve into other people's secrets ...
If you are not fully aware of your experiences, then you do not understand what role emotions play. for you personally.
With accepting any of your emotions the ability to control them begins.
Otherwise, for any similar situations you will be forced to experience an emotional explosion and endlessly go in circles.
2. Analyze what your emotions are saying
Learn to recognize what essence and value your emotions, especially the “negative” ones.
About what signal your experiences?
What are your Attention?
What is worth thinking about?
What should be changed?
Be honest with yourself when answering these questions.
Perhaps resentment points to need for recognition and anger protects you from the destructive person in your life.
Or maybe you are used to hysterical behavior to get wish from uncooperative people? In this case, you should look for other options ...
Once you understand the value behind the surge of emotions, they automatically subside.
3. Don't take it personally
Learn not to take on personal account everything that happens to you.
If your husband or boss yelled at you, this does not mean that you were guilty of something.
Perhaps they are in a bad mood, this has nothing to do with you personally. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Do not get involved in this negativity, reacting with emotion resentment or anger. However, you have the right to calmly and correctly defend your boundaries.
4. Apply meditation and spiritual practices
If you are prone to emotional outbursts or prolonged experiences, you are highly sensitive - learn to calm down even in the most difficult situations.
They help in this meditation. Even after a short practice, you will feel relaxed, the intensity of emotions will subside.
Regular meditation will tune your brain to more positive thinking.
During meditation, the brain changes the frequency of electrical impulses into deep and calm alpha waves. They induce a state of peace and relaxation in a person.
Another simple and effective technique is breathing. Inhale deeply and exhale into the ground several times.
5. Do something new
Train yourself to respond in new ways habitual"negative" situations.
For example, you can try to translate a brewing scandal into a joke, and thus, discharge environment.
Simple practices on how to get out of an emotionally charged situation
If it doesn't occur to you how to act differently, practice this in game form(for example, in training). You can draw inspiration from books, films.
6. Understand the nature of emotions
Read books and articles about emotions: why they arise, how they affect the body and consciousness.
Every person given the opportunity keep yourself in a positive mood.
Deliberate a person knows how to control himself, track and manage his emotions.
Do not suppress emotions in yourself, but understand the reasons for their occurrence both in yourself and in others.
And by this, manage your life creating more happiness and inner harmony in it!
P.S. Perhaps the most important step to emotional healing is the ability to forgive their offenders, let go of the pain of their past.
Anger and irritation are among the most powerful, and, moreover, unpleasant emotions. How to learn to control ourselves when everything around seems to be only going on with the aim of driving us crazy? We can not always control our mood, and the state of other people, the events that take place do not depend on us. Irritation is a normal reaction to something that a person would not want to face.
It can be physiological, for example, the reaction of the skin to an unpleasant tissue, and emotional, when we are annoyed by someone's manner of speaking. How to learn to restrain our emotions when we are forced not to show our true feelings? Let's consider several ways.
Use deep breathing to overcome anger.
This will help to distract from strong emotions and will be the first step in returning to a normal track. After the most acute emotions subside, try not to think about the causes of irritation. Between the moment when you have recovered a little from the passions that overwhelm the soul and complete calm, there is a small buffer. During this time, angry thoughts may still return. Therefore, try not to be distracted by them and do breathing exercises and relaxation again.
For believers, a method such as prayer is suitable.
If you are in adverse circumstances, reading even the simplest prayers will quickly help you feel secure. You can learn your favorite prayer by heart in advance. Meditation can also serve as an alternative to prayer. However, it must be remembered that these spiritual practices still differ from each other.
Meditation is a technique aimed at calming the mind, detaching from the situation. It has a much greater effect when practiced for a long time. But focusing on something in a state of strong emotion also has a good effect. The mind switches, and negative thoughts gradually leave with it.
To contain your emotions, take your mind off your worries.
When feelings begin to manifest in all their might, it's time to turn on soothing music in your headphones or pay attention to some unfinished work project. You can pause and play your favorite computer game. Or call an old friend who always knew how to cheer you up. Humor is also a reliable way to remove negative emotions.
Work on developing willpower.
This quality will be useful to you in other areas of life. But in relation to control over the emotional state, it is simply irreplaceable. Eliminate the phrase "I can't" from your vocabulary. Whenever you encounter difficulties, say to yourself accusatory "I don't." Doing this every time, you will gradually be able to regain control over own life. Including, over the experiences of anger and irritation.
Use emotions as additional motivators.
For example, if you feel angry about the incorrect behavior of an employee at work, turn your feelings to your own advantage. Instead of endlessly drowning in thoughts about the actions he performs, transfer the energy of your emotions to work on your skills and abilities. In a normal state, it is not easy to move from one place and start working on oneself, and the potential for negative emotions is so great that it will serve as a good impetus for development.
See also:
Show respect.
If the cause of resentment is any person, especially a close relative or work colleague, do not rush to show your ego. Try to treat this person with respect and courtesy. Not all people who make us angry and angry may be completely incapable of a sound assessment of the situation. When you approach them with a sincere desire to improve the situation, there is a chance to open the door for new communication, cooperation and even trust.
Determine the reasons.
An emotional reaction cannot come out of nowhere. Analyze what specifically causes your feelings. If the anger is caused by the behavior of another person, try to calmly talk to him, find out the reasons for the situation. Allow yourself and others to be heard and understood.
Plan your vacation.
This point is mandatory, since learning to restrain anger and irritation is impossible if you do not periodically give yourself a break. In this case, the nervous system may simply not withstand overload. And so that she can cope with daily stress productively, rest is simply necessary. Spend at least one day a week doing your favorite hobby. If you are a sociable person, arrange a meeting with friends. In general, organize your schedule so that it leaves time for those activities from which you can draw strength of mind.
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions, because it can affect both health and the world that surrounds us. To prevent its destructive effects, use the methods described, and sooner or later you will be able to gain complete control over your feelings.
Hello, friends.
Many people ask how to learn to control their emotions and not be nervous. And indeed, this question is relevant today for many. People are beginning to understand that if we do not learn to control feelings, emotions and constantly get nervous, we will never become truly healthy and happy.
After all, what is meditation really?
This is the awakening of true awareness, the real Self, higher consciousness. You seem to rise to the height of a bird's flight and look at your psyche, your mind from above. Looking at them from the outside, you disidentify with them and begin to control them.
Those exercises that I gave above are similar to meditation. It’s just that in real meditation you don’t specifically evoke an emotion in yourself, don’t remember it, but create conditions for the spontaneous release of the psycho-emotional sphere. What feeling will appear before your eyes, and then dissolve under the onslaught of your awareness, you do not know in meditation.
However, by meditating, you will become very good at mastering the skill of controlling your psyche.
Understanding emotions in life
With the help of the above techniques and meditation, you can learn to control feelings and emotions. In complete silence, turning your gaze inward, you will get better and better. But as soon as you once again find yourself in a stressful situation, you again begin to get nervous, worry, experience fear, and so on, that is, the emotional sphere absorbs you again, you identify with it, lose yourself.
What to do? Everything is simple. It is necessary to develop mindfulness in everyday life, in other words, to be aware of and control emotions not only during meditation or during special exercises, but always, everywhere, in any situation.
In general, if you practice meditation correctly, the awareness gained in it will gradually pass into everyday life. But for many, due to the increased work of the psyche, this happens for a very long time. That is why you need to develop awareness outside of special practice.
What do we have to do? As soon as you begin to experience any unpleasant emotion, before it swallows you, you need to remember about awareness and try to look at it from the outside, to realize it. That is, apply the skill of looking at the feeling that you have learned in meditation or in exercises, but already in real life. Of course, this will be more difficult to do, it is not so easy to remember when emotion overwhelms you.
During a seated workout, you had ideal conditions for observing the psyche: silence, closed eyes, looking inward. Everything is more difficult in life.
But the main thing is not to despair. Each time you will get better and better. Even if you could not immediately stop the emotional avalanche, but remembered the realization a little later and said to yourself: "I got angry again, or, let's say, scared", then that's good. You succumbed to emotions, but you realized that you were angry, which means that you already realized it, albeit later. It was like a realization in hindsight. "Oh, I shouted again, I could not restrain myself, where I was at that time."
Many people become so identified with their psyche that they cannot even be aware later, when the emotion is behind them. They never admit to themselves or others that they were wrong, that they were not in themselves, that it was emotion that controlled them. People like sheep see only their own point of view and cannot look at the world from a different point of view, understand another person.
Therefore, realizing in hindsight, you have already taken a big step and become more developed. You have already become not a sheep, but a more conscious animal. In order to become completely human, you must be aware not only after you have already broken firewood, absorbed by emotion, but during the very emotional influx.
Recognize and re-aware. Look at emotions from the outside, but do not run away from them.
Gradually, you will get better and better.
How will this work in practice?
For example, you go to an important meeting, and you start to get nervous. Emotion immediately absorbs you, you lose your head, because you lose your I, you start to create anything. At this moment, there is a narrowing of consciousness due to the fact that the emotion has taken all the energy, all the attention. You start to see narrowly, like in a tunnel. That's why we make mistakes, we see, we realize limitedly.
At that moment, while the emotion has not taken all the energy and while you are still able to think something, you just need to remember that you can be aware of the emotion, observe it, control it. Remember the exercises, remember the skill of detached observation, acquired in exercises and meditation. Remembering, start looking at the emotion from the outside, be aware of it. The faster you remember, the easier it will be for you to stop the emotion, because at the beginning of an emotional avalanche you have more free energy, your head is not completely clouded and there is still a piece of I left.
I repeat, as soon as an emotion has overwhelmed you, remember awareness and begin to be aware of it, look at it, or at its manifestations, from the outside.
If you do everything right, it will subside, dissolve, and you will come to the meeting, no longer nervous, with a sober head and do everything right.
Don't despair if it doesn't work right away. Yes, you won't be able to right now. Your awareness is still underdeveloped. Train it in meditation and over time you will easily be able to control emotions everywhere and always. You will succeed.
Life without emotions? What for?
It may seem to you that having learned to control our psyche, we will turn into some kind of robots without emotions or universal soldiers, always cold-blooded and never smiling. It may be better to be constantly nervous, but to remain human. This is a very erroneous opinion. And it arises from misconceptions about human consciousness.
As I said before, emotions do not need to be completely eliminated. They help us interact with the outside world, with the people around us. They are created for this by nature. We just need to remember that they are only a tool, our part, they belong to us, but we are not them. For most people, the psycho-emotional sphere absorbs our Self so much that there is no question of any awareness. We lose ourselves in emotions, we identify with them. When they arise, we follow their lead, completely obey them, and therefore constantly make mistakes, regretting them later.
When we learn to control them and awaken our awareness, our emotions will change. Yes, they will not disappear, there is no goal to get rid of them, but they will become different. What is very important, they will no longer go off scale, you will forget about the emotional shaking.
If we present our emotions in the form of a graph, then we will get both a positive peak and a negative one. It's full of positive and negative emotions. Busting and shaking from positive emotions is also not very good, it is also a waste of energy and health. After you learn to be aware of your psyche, the emotional graph will cut off and there will no longer be big peaks. All this will lead to an even, not twitchy, calm character. You will stop losing your head in any difficult situations, gain sobriety of thoughts and clarity of thinking. After all, emotions only intoxicate a person, do not give a look at the true state of things. Having gained control over them, you seem to wake up from hibernation, sober up and finally begin to see everything around in the true light.
Those who do not know the nature of consciousness do not understand why it is necessary to put control over emotions. They think that we consist only of the lower layers of consciousness: emotions, feelings, thoughts. But in fact, removing upper layer psyche, where emotions live, deeper layers of our consciousness begin to come to the surface. This is how we get to the real Self, to awareness, to the human soul. And these upper layers have their own feelings (not emotions), which are different from animal feelings and emotions. And they are much more pleasant, more saturated, more colorful. Such feelings include love, compassion, quiet spiritual joy and other manifestations of the soul.
That is why a person who has learned to control his emotions does not become an insensitive robot. On the contrary, he acquires other feelings that are much more pleasant to experience. And the fewer peaks of emotional shake-up you have, the more you will experience precisely positive higher feelings. Negative emotions will be replaced by positive ones.
You will more often experience joy simply from existence itself, depression, apathy and other psychological problems will go away.
Therefore, learn to manage your emotions in order not only to gain bright positive feelings, to find health and happiness, but also to become a Human with a capital letter, not to be an animal.
That's all for today.
And remember, you will succeed. Health and happiness are actually not far from you. You just have to put things in order in your head, and they will come to you.
