Tuesday evening. I'm sitting in a hairdresser. All as usual: shorter the side, shorter behind - and very uncomfortable inside. Dead silence, diluted only by clicking scissors. The hairdresser is not to blame, he has already walked over all ordinary topics (my hair, my plans for the weekend, what I will do on holidays). Now the ball goes to me. What to do?

What is charisma? It is clearly not the quality that could be suspected from me. But who needs to be, to say about you: "Yes, this guy is special"? Is it possible to learn Charism? Next to me is the one who believes: yes, you can. His name is Danish Sheikh, and he coach for the development of charisma. Among his clients are the leaders of Yahoo and BBC, which he taught the art of finding self-confidence and "personal attractiveness". Sheikh is sure that he can turn anyone in George Clooney or Bridget Bardo. And I will be his student for two days.

I'm sitting in a chair, choosing where you can turn the conversation. It seems simple: I am pretty smart, I understand music and sports, I know the latest news. In short, options are thousands. "What about you? - Finally I squeeze. - Are you going somewhere for the holidays? "

In the mirror I see how Sheikh frowned.

- If you start with the basics, charisma is the ability to place people solely with the help of the strength of your personality. It is difficult to appoint the price to this skill, "he says, although on the fact it did it: 150 pounds per hour, if you are accurate. And many are ready to part with them.

To be attractive

Why charisma is such an important thing? Ask Richard Rida, a British cognitive psychotherapist, who himself is far from a timid ten - calls himself "Mr. Charisma". Reed specializes in different fields - dependencies, depression, crisis management, but in 2009, he one of the first in the UK began to conduct courses on the development of Charizma. Since then, London's Transport Department of London, the National Agency for Crime and Google, has been visited among its clients.

Those who are deprived of the notorious EQ rely on instructions. And those who have it, rely on its influence

"These organizations are no longer looking for managers," he says. - They need leaders. And be the leader means owning emotional intelligence. Essentially, this is a charisma. "

Those who are deprived of the notorious EQ rely on the instructions, says Reed. And those who have it, rely on their influence. "If you learn to place people, you will discover more opportunities for yourself. Plus, you will receive more pleasure from all - parties, interviews, communicating with colleagues and friends. "

Already someone who, and I definitely not from those whom Nature has been given to charming. Rather, I balancing somewhere on the verge of incompleteness and arrogance, where the second is a way to overcome the first. But I am 33 years old, and I begin to suspect that all the same won.

Some time ago, I led the column in the local newspaper, and this column was quite popular. But when readers met with me live, I felt that they were disappointed. One of them said: "Strange - your articles are written with a twinkle, but I don't feel it in you." I understand it, but I can not imagine what you can do with you.

New leader - Charismatic leader

Dr. Eric Matter is a neuropsychologist who worked with the Chelsea football club and the Dutch Olympic Sailing team, specializes in optimizing talents. "Only a little really comfortable to be ourselves," he said to me. - For all other training, charisma can help. This is your right - want to become the best version of yourself, but you may need help. The development of personal potential is too complicated to solve it alone. "

Meanwhile, my coach Sheikh is just self-taught. Born in India, he was a bore teenager, then the head of production in Yahoo. He worried because of the inability to raise friends and spent ten years, studying the psychology and neurology of domestic communication. In the end, in its almost 30 years, he turned into a regular guru.

My first impression from him is yes, cute, but, frankly, charisma is not extended. "But I liked you," he parries. "So our relationship began with a positive note." I had nothing to cover.

His first impression of me was more ruthless. He said this morning after a visit to the hairdresser. Before that, he walked every day with me every day, watched as I speak, how I behave. He summarized his observations in the office, on the board. Not the most pleasant reading. But, as I was told, "Just acknowledge your weaknesses, we can resist them."

We can develop, practice and improve methods and subconscious interpersonal skills

So, that's what happened: it is difficult for me to tie and maintain a conversation; I look insufficiently confident when I go into the room; I have a closed body language; I do not look like people in the eyes, because I perceive the eye contact as an invasion of personal space. If we are talking about interesting topics (football, literature, history of the XIX century or British railways), I talked sluggishly, without enthusiasm.

"But do not worry," Sheikh promises me. - We will fix it all. "

Natural gift or years of training?

Sheikh classes are based on the idea that we can develop, practice and improve methods and subconscious interpersonal skills. I remember the most charismatic people from those I know: do they really achieve the location of people thanks to the methodical training? I think about Martin - my friend, an excellent journalist, who is 30 years older than me. He always looks solid, but with a share of ease. It does not look inappropriate in any atmosphere. And most importantly, it seems that he does not try to create an image at all.

I met Martin and asked him: did he really achieve this with the help of conscious work on himself? "I think I just listened to the more others," my friend shrugged. "But it doesn't seem to me that this needs to be specifically learned."

I began to tell him about my Harizma lessons. He nodded, asking questions. Finally I asked what he thinks about it. "Full crap," he threw. - Distivate still on a circle? "

Showing interest in people, you give them to feel significant: then they will associate this feeling with you

Until recently, I believed that Charisma is a pleasant decoration to a public image, but not something necessary. I did not need charisma to acquire traditional benefits: partner, home, work that I like it. When I called Sheikh, I was moving clean curiosity. I wanted to understand why the quality of which was spoken by the old Greeks for the first time, suddenly became a mandatory attribute of success in the XXI century.

Perhaps, with her help, I would get the dream of a dream, would be a soul of the company, instead of painfully think how to support the conversation.

"Showing interest in people, you give them to feel significant: then they will associate this feeling with you. If you are distracted at least for a minute, people grab it in a fraction of a second, - explains Sheikh. - Concentrate all attention on the person who in front of you, and he will be grateful. No matter where you are in your entrance or behind the scenes at the Rolling Stones concert. If at the moment you are talking to the cleaner, your attention should be given to him. "

We are learning the exercise "enter the room": chin up, shoulders back, visual contact ("Do not look too long, 4 seconds maximum, then break"), gestures ("economically"). The same with the voice: not to speak too quickly or too slow; Diversify the tempo to hold the attention of the listener. Good posture, strong voice and open position means power.

Be yourself?

It's time for practical training. Silent chatter. Sheikh advises to maintain a conversation in a semi-dry tone, speak expressively, ask open questions. He is reincarnated in my hairdresser, then in the publishing editor, then in a stranger at a party ... never once, I must notice, I did not have to resort to the ill-fated question about the weekend plans.

Sheikh gives an exercise on the development of awareness: teaches to be in present, completely on the interlocutor. His personal secret: if he feels that he begins to be distracted, he shoots glasses and rubs them. This action, he says, makes him gather. When he talks about this trick, I admire her simplicity. Later, for coffee, telling your best anecdote, I noticed that he began to wipe glasses.

I meet with the sheikh at the last lesson - on the exam, if you want. We go to spontaneous dating on the street. While everything goes well: we manage to captivate people. In the bar, the graduate of the Physical Faculty argues about black holes, and the truck driver admits that tomorrow at the same time will be in Arbrow. "Beautiful city," - I say, trying to inspire in my voice did not seem artificial. "You were there?" - He asks with surprise. I pause and pretending the answer options. "No," I say in a moment. "But sure it is a wonderful place."

In the interruptions sheikh gives advice: "Do not cross hands; During the conversation, keep visual contact with everyone in turn. " Remember everything - about hands, eyes, active listening, - grave work. Finally, feeling that I am not enough for a long time, I grab the straw: I tell a couple of a person about his development courses of Harizma. And immediately the conversation is enlivened. "I don't need it," the guy says in front of me. - Being charismatic is just to be yourself. Without all sorts of tricks. "

Perhaps charisma is essentially easier than we think. We are talking about the best understanding of what you are

This contradicts everything that I configured in the last two days. Change all your behavior to learn to like others, isn't it the opposite of what is called "to be yourself"? And what if, trying to become someone else, I will lose something more important - more important than the acquired (presumably) charm? Maybe it's not that I missed any opportunities? Maybe my authentic "I" never strove to them?

I share my considerations with the sheikh, who has already ready. "You exchanged with this guy contacts," he reminds. - This is a contact built on mutual sympathy. This is exactly what Charism needs. This means that your learning was not in vain. "

Do I feel, what has changed? Not really. I will never become in the gorilla pose or admire the Scottish cities that could not find on the map. But perhaps charisma is in essence easier than we think. We are talking about the best understanding of what you are.

Coming out of the bar, Sheikh and I shook my hands before breaking down. Then he oars me on the other side of the street: "Hey, let me know how your next haircut passed." He raises his hand with a raised thumb - apparently wanting to send me a farewell charge of his charisma. Still, I like it.

Charismaticism is the ability to attract attention to others. This is leadership, attraction and influence on people. Charismatic is very cool. How to become charismatic?

"Charismatics - people extraordinary. The fragrance of adventure and risk comes from them, quite attractive for those who are boring life. "Robert Green

Such men love all the surrounding, and especially women. How to become charismatic?

Charisma is a set of qualities and traits of a person who make it positively stand out among others. Charismatic person is able to make a positive impression and entail people. First of all, charismaticism is a male quality.

The word "charisma" was used in ancient Greek mythology. This is the ability to attract attention to others. Harites possessed her - the goddesses of beauty, kindness and graces.

Sculpture from the Louvre. Three Graces. Roman copy of the imperial era.

In Christianity, it is argued that Charisma is the "divine gift." Is it given over? He can not learn? But it is not so. How to train and develop charisma?

You can develop charisma training and purchasing the necessary features and qualities.

1. Charism and confidence

"You do not cease to look for strength and confidence internally, but to look in yourself. They were always there and were "Sigmund Freud

Charismatic personality is needed confidence, hardness of solutions and views. When others doubt and retreat backwards, the charismatic person goes to his course. He is ready to fight. His confidence inspires others. Be confident in your abilities!

2. Charisma and courage

"If you are from those whom we call the weaklings, you surrender every time when life pushes you. If you are from those who actually actually actually have probably doing everything right, protecting themselves from troubles and, waiting for a miracle that will never happen - it means - you are weak "Robert Kiyosaki

Charismatic man is a lonely sailboat in the raging sea. Everyone is proud of them and dream of being similar to him. But Teroxate. Ordinary people are afraid of thousands of things, and their soul is full of doubt and fear. They lack courage. The fear of playing people paralyzes people. It does not give them normally develop and take more bold actions. Charismatic leader can afford not to be afraid. He can "play" on the field of life more freely. His hands are unleashed. When you get rid of fear and fear of lesions, everything becomes easier. Be bold!

3. Charism and reputation

Charismatic person has the necessary reputation. There are no ideal people, but there is pride, honesty and reputation. He keeps the word, and you can rely on it. Charismatic man respect. Valid your reputation!

4. Charisma and eloquence

"True eloquence is the ability to say everything you need, and no more than you need" Francois de Larochefuky

5. Charism and optimism

Positive emotions are needed to achieve their goals. Under the influence of enthusiasm and the appropriate mood, a person is able to effectively act and win. The charismatic leader is able to infect their optimism around. It helps overcome obstacles and save the "combat" mood. Keep optimism!

Charismatic is very cool. Charisma must have every real man. This quality opens the sea opportunities ...

Many people are interested to know - how to develop charisma? After all, individuals who have this quality are attractive. They have something special, thanks to which they attract the attention of many, and cause the desire to be closer to them, often without having special external data. It is logical that many want to be the same.

Qualities of charismatic people

To begin with, it is worth noting that charisma is a gift. What is in man from birth. This quality is manifested at a natural level, it does not apply any effort to this. Charisma is manifested in behavior, in a faith, in speech, in how a person does anything. And she has nothing to do with the moral and ethical appearance and the nature of the activity. Charismatic can be both a priest, and a criminal, both a programmer and a cook.

Every person who is inherent in this quality is unique in its own way. But there are qualities that are peculiar to everyone. Among these can be allocated:

• Self confidence.
• Sociability.
• Self-control.
• Empathy.
• Leadership.
• The sharp mind and sense of humor.
• Exterior appeal. Not necessarily beauty. It can be a "clinging" smile, a special expressive look, the ability to "play" the fairytale.
• The presence of "raisin".

Many people have all the listed from birth. But, in the presence of desire, some of the qualities can be developed in yourself.

Step No. 1: Socialization

How to develop charisma? You need to become sociable. In people with this quality, there are no problems in communication. They are easy to contact even those who see for the first time in their lives, and find a common language with him. They have a competent logical speech, they are peculiar to the ability to clearly and express their thoughts. They ways to listen and hear, take someone else's opinion and defend their position.

Therefore, you need to work in this direction. Become more relaxed and open. Immediately become for those who will not work. But you need to strive for this. It is more likely to be in humans, sign up for rhetoric or oratory courses, and then - to speak in a stand-club before the public.

Plus, having decided on a public speech, a person will push himself out of the comfort zone. He will simply have to act before those who have fallen spectators - to try to interest them, make sure, to attract attention. The experience gained in such situations helps in social situations in the future.

Step No. 2: Search for feedback

If a person is really interested in how to develop Harizm, he should try to use any social environment to test the impression produced by them on others. How? Just start telling stories. If it is boring, then people will start running away from communication - one will take over the phone, the other will pretend that he has called, the third and will leave at all, the fourth will leave "to the toilet".

And it is very important to conduct such "testing" among unfamiliar people. Friends, in any case, will pretend that they are wondering from politeness.

By the way, since it will be difficult to analyze my behavior itself, it will be difficult to ask for a close friend, after having taking it with me somewhere in people as a third-party "viewer."

Step number 3: Training in front of the mirror

If a person thought about how to develop Harizm, he probably focuses on anyone. Is there a visual example? Great, it's worth starting him to follow.

The best way is to train in front of the mirror. For their practice, some text will be required. Preferably, reasonable and emotional. Or maybe poem in verse.

The selected text must be memorable and practicing in front of a mirror, looking at yourself. It is necessary to behave while reading so that you manage to attract your own attention. Watch yourself as if from the side. And impartially commemorate - what clings, and what no, what mistakes in rhetoric should be corrected, in which direction to work on the facial expressions, gestures, intonation, etc.

Practice this follows every day. And when one text will be worked out on "excellent", learn the next, necessarily another nature to develop in a different direction. This is formed charisma and artistry.

Step number 4: self-education

Is it possible to develop charisma? Some qualities that it turns on - yes. And one of these is the formation. Charismatic people are competent, comprehensively developed, it is subject to maintaining a conversation on almost any topic.

Self-education is very important. This is the path to self-improvement and development. If a person does not know anything new, he degrades. Or stands still.

Men charisma

Gentlemennian attractiveness differs from the ladies. And therefore, the topic concerning how to develop a charisma in men, it is also necessary to affect attention. So, here is a brief list of qualities that are characteristic of attractive men:

• Self-confidence, accurate and clearly delivered life goals. Some of them are by shoulders. And upon reaching new, the man puts new ones.
• The sequence and calculation on themselves are the main principles in achieving these goals.
• Manifestation to the people of respect.
• Positive in communication, sociability.
• The ability to learn from almost any advantages.
• Well-groomed, attractive.
• I am moderately artistic, interesting interlocutor.
• The one who knows how to notice the little things in situations and in humans. It often makes compliments based on them.

And another charismatic man must appreciate and respects himself. But that's what is not in it, it is:

• Nudeness, pessimism, negative emotions, disgusting.
• Habits shift the blame for their actions on others and make saint.
• Examinely overgrown, always with all the expressed sense of own importance (CWS).
• Irritability, maliciousness and aggression.
• Habits criticize people and climb them with advice and imposing views.

Such people are just repelled, and little attractive in them.

How to develop a man with a man? Exercises, in principle, are suitable for those who have been mentioned above - they are universal. It is better to talk about what directions need to work. So, the key are:

• Courage. Men are always associated with courage, courage, confidence, fearlessness. And their actions and bold actions, sometimes admire. Want to become charismatic? We will have to overcome all fears, stop being afraid of defeats and let go any doubts. It will also give confidence and freedom.
• Manners. No one will pay attention to the man who walks, having embarrassed, and when conversation it is inappropriate, gently gesticulates, or it crosses his hands on his chest. Charismatic people are distinguished by skill skillfully use sign language.
• Sense of humor. Charismatic gentleman knows how to make the surrounding people, and it is not difficult for him to laugh at himself. Jokes must be thin, original and even beautiful - not lower than the belt for sure.

And, of course, it was impossible to bypass the party leadership. It is the charismatic people, often to share the team, and become a driving force, a motivator to something.

Lady charisma

A couple of words should be said about it. Before you tell you how to develop a charisma woman, it should be noted that this is the quality if it is inherent in girls, something different from male. Just because other behavioral and role reactions are expected from representatives of the beautiful part of mankind. So, that's what is included in the female charisma:

• Cheerfulness and fun.
• Friend and smoothness.
• Optimism and positive.
• Attractive energy.
• Unpredictability.
• Sense of humor.

Such girls on gold weight. There are no aggression, indicative sadness, pessimism, anger, discontent. It pulls them, they have certain magnetism. So how to develop a charisma girl?

Here recommendations will be the same as on the topic "How to like a man?". It is believed that women's charisma is charm. And it is manifested in sensuality and femininity. But without the intellectual factor, it is not necessary. A beautiful "cover" will certainly attract attention, but will not keep without interesting "contents". Therefore, here, what you need to work:

• Attractiveness. The girl should look well-groomed, tastefully dressed, with a neat styling and beneficially emphasizing her advantages make up.
• Charm. Relevant smile, sincere laughter over the jokes of the interlocutor, the ability to note in the opponent some quality, turning it into an unobtrusive compliment - all this makes the girl more pleasant in communication.
• Ease. Here in other words it is difficult to say. "Light" girls do not look uploaded - they are open to this world, communication, adventure.
• Communicability. It is believed that most often the soul of the company are men. Therefore, girls should work on the ability to build a constructive and interesting dialogue, raise entertaining topics for discussion, ask questions and respond to them.

In general, you can say a lot about how to develop charisma. The exercises are all practical, so before you begin to get it, it will not be too much familiar with the "theory." Namely - with books.

Literature

Books developing charisma are an excellent source useful for reflection of information. After reading them, a person will not automatically acquire charm and attractiveness, but it will have some kind of thoughts on this topic, and he will begin to think what kind of knowledge gained from literature can be applied to himself. Most recommends reading the following literature:

• "Charisma leader."
• "Hold people for themselves."
• "How to influence, convince and inspire."
• "Charisma. The art of successful communication. "

These books receive excellent reviews, both from psychologists and ordinary people. So a person interested in the topic discussed, at least with one of them definitely won't hurt.

Charisma is the inner light of man. Thanks to this quality, many people seek great success in life. Not everyone knows how to become a charismatic guy or a bright, attractive girl. However, psychologists assure that this quality can be developed, only need to work on themselves.

What is charisma

There are people who surprise those around their character, behavior, a sense of humor and many other qualities. This happens for one simple reason - they have charisma. This is a bright character, characterized by cheerful mood, cheerfulness, inner light. Thanks to such qualities, you can charm any person, it is worth only to want.

Charisma causes almost every person admiration and respect. Previously, experts argued that such a human gift is not inherent in everyone. However, today it is proved that Harizma can be developed in itself. After all, it is closely related to the psychological attitude of man.

How to understand, charismatic man in front of you

There is an opinion that every person has a bright character. Just some people can take advantage of them, others - no. Charismatic people are always easily relate to jokes. They can easily laugh not only over friends, but above themselves. Such people always show a strong character, try to be disliked on others and look at life with optimism all the time.

Charismatic people easily recognize the negative sides of their character, try to work on themselves. In public, they do not know how to be shy and easily express their opinion. A person with a bright character always seeks to prove himself, it is not shyless to demonstrate his abilities.

If you are in front of you a uncertain person, it is impossible to be called charismatic. When such people express their own opinion, nobody hears them. They rarely look at life with optimism. Do not believe in the future, can not joke. If you are from this category, then read on how to become a charismatic person. After all, this quality is very important in life.

How to become a bright person

To become a charismatic person, you need to listen to the advice of psychologists. If you stick to them, then your life will quickly work out. For girls there are such recommendations of specialists:

1. Look at life with optimism. Never lose. Remember that time will put everything in place.
2. Be calm in any situation. Try to manage your character, do not show extra emotions.
3. Respect and love not only yourself, but also around.
4. Create your own unique style. Standing appearance is the component of the charisma.
5. Feel free to play or joke in public.
6. Do not discuss a person for his back. If something does not like, it is better to say straight into the eyes.
7. In any situation, look for positive parties.
8. Never interrupt the interlocutor. Try to build a dialogue, not a monologue. This is very important in communication.

Now you know how to become a charming and charismatic girl. For the guy there is another additional advice that is very important: be a gentleman. Try to help the weak floor. Save a place in transport, open the doors and skip the girl forward. There are a lot of such actions, but not every guy does it.

When talking, you smile more often the interlocutor. After all, such behavior causes not only respect, but also admiration. Try to make your gestures, voice, facial expressions are pleasant to others.

We found out how to become a charismatic person. Remember that everything depends on you. You can become a bright personality only when you listen to the advice of specialists and begin to act in the right direction.

Output

In the article we looked at how to become a charismatic guy or a bright, charming girl. Based on this, we can conclude that you need to work on your image, behavior and character.

Remember: you need to do a self-education daily. Strive to reveal your abilities. No need to say that they are not. The talent is every person, look good for him, and you will definitely discover something new.

Always put the target. Just because of her you can move forward. The success of the person who wants to get from life as much as possible. Work on yourself, try, learn, and you will definitely work out.

One of the main features of a successful in life and in the case of a person is charismatic. Charismatic people are able to lead. Their charm comes around others create and create.

Many mistakenly believe that Charisma is given from birth and if it was born ordinary, then you will be so. Studies of many psychologists suggest that the charisma in itself can be revealed and develop. It can each. How to become a charismatic personality - read further in the article.

How to become a charismatic person?

First of all, you should not think that you do not have any chance to become charismatic. Each person has Charizma's deposits. What can be distinguished in every charismatic person at first sight? Each of them has some kind of talent, and they are all confident.

Talent is the basis of Harizma. And he is in every person. Do not try to get rid of flaws. It is necessary, first of all, to find and develop their advantages. It is they will help to become more charismatic, but how to detect talent?

There are a lot of ways. You can try different things from drawing to dances or just look inside yourself, ask a question - and what is I good? Or what do I love? Often the answer should be found very far. Back in childhood. What you loved since childhood. After all, parents often do not notice the talent in their children, and he remains one of the ordinary skills.

Even if you did not find an outstanding talent, you can always develop it from the skill or what you love. It is important to realize your dignity and pay attention to him. How will it help with charisma? You will become more confident in its use, and this will help become charismatic.

How to become confident and charismatic?

Confidence is not easy to develop and it rarely comes immediately. And, above all, confidence is based on self-confidence and love for yourself. So start to love yourself. Get up in the morning and smile yourself in the mirror. Praise yourself for their things, whatever significant they are and do not scold for mistakes. Take errors like lessons. The more confident you will, the easier it will be to you with people.

In addition, try to have and defend your own opinion. Do not like the fashionable praise by all the movies? Feel free to say about it. Remember: You have the right to your opinion. And for their own interests.

Interests are another of the components of a charismatic person. It may be anything from the mountain ski to the collection of dishes of the world. The main thing is that you have one, and better a few topics for conversation. What is yours. After all, charismatic person is always surrounded by other people. Charisma stretches like men and women.

Harism itself does not depend on the floor. You can wonder how to become a charismatic man or how to become a charismatic woman, but there is no universal response to these questions. Charisma does not depend on gender and only by virtue of education can be more developed in a man than a woman.

However, an important part for any sex is style. As a rule, the charismatic person has its own specialty style. It does not require a stylist or development of taste. This is your style and only you create it.

You can sit down or lie down, close your eyes and imagine how you think a charming person should look like. Adjust this image for yourself. Imagine that you are wearing how you move and speak.

When you open your eyes, try, at least gradually enter this image. Create this person from yourself. And do not hesitate to stand out. Charismatic people always stand out among the others. Find your highlight and open it.

Remember, in each of us there is something unique. And only you can make it a unique basis of your charisma.